Back to You

The Waiting Game

Erin ran home with tears threatening to spill. She didn't want to cry. Not yet. She ran in the house and seen Rachel, Katlyn, and Paige all sitting on the couch. They refused to go to school. They said they'd be going home soon and that there was no need to be enrolled in school when they would just be leaving it.

"Erin," Paige spoke softly when she ran inside. She ran right past them and into her room. She slammed the door and collapsed onto the bed. Last time I was in here I had Johnny. Now he's mad at me.

Erin didn't understand what he was so mad about. Why he blew up like he did. She thought it might be his parents by the way he was staring at his house. But why wouldn't he tell her if something was bothering him?

Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe he hates me. He thinks I'm annoying; that's definitely a sign he hates me.

"Erin." Rachel knocked on the door. "Erin are you okay?"

"No. No, I'm not. Go away. I don't want to talk to you."

Erin buried her face in her pillow and cried. Just like she did the other day, but now she doesn't have her Johnnycake to comfort her.

...

Johnny was at the lot. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head resting on them. "I'm so stupid. So, so, stupid! Why did I do that to her? I can't let my emotions get the best of me. I can't...I can't become Dad."

Johnny had to go talk to her. He had hurt her. He had hurt his angel. "I am becoming my father. I am. I yelled at her just like he yells at ma." He ran a hand through his hair. "I have to fix this. I have to."

He stood up and began walking. He was hoping Erin would except his apology. He hoped she wouldn't be mad once he explained why he got like that. That was something he wanted to keep in, something he didn't want to talk about. Now he has no choice. If he doesn't tell it might could ruin his relationship, and he didn't want to lose her. He already lost her once when she went back home. The thought of losing her again seemed like torture.

Johnny walked to the Curtis house and opened the door. The girls didn't say anything when he walked in; Johnny just went straight to Erin's room. He knocked on the door softly. "Erin, can we talk. Please."

Erin could hear the desperation in his voice. But she didn't want to talk to him. No yet. He still might be mad at her, and Erin didn't want to get yelled at again. She didn't want to feel that pain again. She knew Johnny wasn't one to yell. Something must have really been bothering him. But Erin still didn't want to talk. "No. Go away, Johnny Cade."

"Please! Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

Erin didn't respond. After a few moments she heard Johnny walk away. Erin let out a small sigh as more tears streamed down her face. She hated all the crying she's been doing. She just wanted the pain to go away. She only knew of one person who could make her feel better, but he was dealing with problems of his own. He didn't want her around. He thought she was annoying and didn't like her pestering.

But that was all wrong. She knew it too. But she couldn't help but blame herself. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I really am annoying. If I wouldn't have been bothering him maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe it's my fault.

...

Johnny walked out of the house. He walked until he found himself at Buck's. He walked inside, ignoring the strong smell of alcohol and cigarettes. He looked around and found Dally at the bar. He walked up to him and sat down beside him.