E.M.M.A.

Lia

I'm a little worried for our session today. I have ran out of best friends to talk about and I'm afraid that Dr Melinda will make me talk about being kidnapped. That is what I'm worried about today.

When my mom pulled up to the parking lot I had this strange feeling that I wasn't going to see this place again for a long time. It was a scary feeling because this place was the only place that really allowed me to share my feelings about certain events that I didn't have a hard time talking about.

"Mom?" I asked as she parked. 

When my mom was parked and the car was off she turned around and answered me.

"Yes, baby?" 

"Can you walk me in there today?" I timidly asked.

I don't know if I was just paranoid but I felt like I needed her there with me.

"Of course I can, honey." She took my hand and squeezed it gently.

I got out of the car and held onto my mom's hand like I was five years old again. I held on for dear life. I didn't want to be without my mom today but I knew she wasn't allowed to be in our sessions. 

When we were in the lobby my mom stopped walking but I didn't let go of her hand.

"Baby, I can't go in there with you. You know that right?" 

I nodded and swallowed painfully. 

"If it helps you feel better I can sit in the lobby and wait for you." She offered.

I nodded.

"Alright, hun, go in there. Dr Melinda wants to see you." 

I know for a fact that Dr Melinda doesn't want to see me. I am probably one of her most difficult patients. She probably hates me. I wonder if she would refuse to do therapy with me if we weren't paying so much. 

I opened the door and sat down on the grey couch and inhaled the musk of the room as if trying to commit it to memory. Dr Melinda looked up from her clipboard and smiled at me.

"Hello Lia. How are you feeling today."

"Okay." I mumbled.

I didn't want to be here. I wanted to run out of the office and back into my mom's car but I can almost picture the look on my mom's face if I did that. The disappointment that she tried to hide so well but failed to. I couldn't do that to her, not after all she had given up for me. Not after all the pain and sorrow I caused for my family. 

"That's wonderful Lia." She said in her steadily calm voice that actually freaked me out.

She pushed a Reece's Peanut butter Cup in my direction and I eyed it warily. I didn't want her candy. Whether or not Dr Melinda realizes I didn't eat her candy she never showed but she ate her Peanut Butter Cups slowly so I had to wait for her to be done before talking again.

When she's done eating she begins to talk again.

"So Lia, it's almost September again. Do you know what that means?" 

"School," I muttered.

"Right, and I talked with your mom and she agreed that would be okay if you go to school as long as you find a friend there." Dr Melinda tells me.

"Why do I have to find a friend. I have four friends already in the school." I protested.

"Listen Lia, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay go ahead." 

"A couple of weeks ago I had asked you if any of your friends came to visit you or call you after you got back and you said 'no'. That was strange to me because even if they weren't your best friends they probably would have checked up on you. Except for if they were scared of you." Dr Melinda tries to put lightly.