sams pov
colbys door was cracked open.
i stared at his shirtless body lying in his bed.
he was on facetime with a girl he had been talking to for the past month.
i want more then anything to take that girls place.
no you don't sam. you're a boy. you can only love girls.
the voices is my head criticize me. they hate me.
"go away." i whispered still staring at colby.
you're a faggot. call katrina back. your date went well last week with her.
i rolled my eyes going back into my room and lying on my bed.
"it wasn't a date. we're just friends" i groaned.
you're worthless sam.
worthless.
"shut up!" i yelled a little to loudly.
"hey camila, i got i go i'll call you back." i heard colby say.
"sam?" he said and walked out of his room.
i try not to talk to colby often anymore.
it's because i've been catching feelings but i can never have him.
he's straight.
colby knocked on my door.
"sam who were you talking too?"
i didn't answer.
i faced my wall.
"samuel? sam? hey i'm gonna come in." he said and i heard the door open and then close.
i kept my attention away from him.
"sam you've been off lately." colby said sitting in my chair putting the pillow in his lap.
you don't deserve happiness.
don't talk to colby he's too good for you.
"shut up." i mumbled.
"what'd you say?"
"colby i can't talk to you right now. tomorrow when we film, okay?" i said still not facing him.
he left and a tear fell down my cheek.
time skip
"heyyy what's up guys it's sam and colby." i said in front of the camera.
"today we're at-"
i watched colby talk to the camera. occasionally he would mess with his hair.
my mind blocked out everything except him.
he turned his attention towards me and smiled.
"you good sam?" he said snapping my back into reality.
"yeah. good." i said looking down at the ground.
time skip
it was after dark and me and colby were walking into the trap house after filming.
i think colbys been catching on to my "strange" behavior.
he's been asking me all day if i was okay, or asking me what's wrong.
i proceed to tell him i'm fine.
"hey." colby said.
"we're in the living room." jake yelled to us.
