20. La Patience Est Une Vertu

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Darien Grace

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Darien Grace

Tonight was my third shift back at Daniel's-one of Seb's favored musician's had been offered a position with the local orchestra, and I jumped at the vacancy. I was so desperate to get back in, though I hadn't thought to ask about the type of position. While Daniel's typically favored pianists, more recently the restaurant had decided to branch out and feature other instruments. Instead of sliding back behind the sleek baby grand that had been my home for the past few years, I'd unknowingly joined a string quartet. It wasn't ideal, but at this point I would take what I could get.

A week ago, I dug down into the trenches of my closet to unearth the second-hand violin Caleb and John had gotten me freshman year. I'd taken a few courses over the years, but it was far from my preferred instrument. Each night I dusted off a few more of the cobwebs and I was getting better. It also didn't hurt that the quartet performed on opposite days from the pianist schedule. Sure, I was ready for a return to my old life, but I'd be lying if I said the change of routine wasn't welcome. At least now I wouldn't have to push past the near-suffocating paranoia of a cameo from the Darling Professor. It was torture enough that Stella allowed him to continue to haunt my dreams. I wouldn't be able to handle the clash of hurt and longing during the light of day as well.

No, it was better I'd joined the quartet. The Madame was thrilled as well. She'd been urging me to broaden my horizons for years. It was upon her insistence that I'd taken the introductory classes in the first place. When I'd told her of my new position this afternoon her answering smile had helped to lessen at least a small portion of the guilt still weighing my heart.

"Renne, c'est merveilleux!" (Renne, that is wonderful!) She said, tucking a stray curl back behind my ear. "As-tu songé à ajouter le violon en tant qu'accompagnement à ta composition?" (Have you thought about adding the violin in as an accompaniment on your composition?)

"J'ai essayé de l'ajouter plus tôt - et c'est effectivement un peu plus fluide - mais il manque toujours quelque chose." (I tried adding it in earlier-and it does flow a bit better-but there's still something missing.) I sighed, thinking back on the past four hours I'd spent in the practice rooms. My stack of rainbow sheet-music had grown considerably since being back, but the piece I began in France still wasn't complete. The ending continued to elude me and the piece as a whole still felt hollow even with the addition of a second instrument.

"Prends un peu de recul, ma chère. Ne te focalise pas trop là-dessus. Tu es si focalisée à terminer que tu permets à la magie de s'éclipser." (Take a step back, my love. Do not focus on it so much. You're so focused on finishing that you're allowing the magic to slip away.)

"Me focaliser là-dessus est la seule chose qui m'empêche de perdre le peu de santé mentale qu'il me reste. Ça empêche mon esprit de... dériver." (Focusing on it is the only thing keeping me from losing the last bit of sanity I have left. It keeps my mind from... drifting.)

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