Falling In Love With The Duck

Broken Wing

        I kick a rock down the sidewalk as I travel aimlessly. He’s seeing her right now and there’s nothing I can do about it. I lick my red lips as I picture him dropping all sorts of compliments on her. A couple passes me, holding onto each other. I gag audibly and keep walking. Love is bogus. It’s stupid. It turns people into primitive animals that lack the basic rational thought that keeps us alive.

        I find myself across the street from the record store where the redheaded she-devil works. They have a good crowd of people in there and I know one is Duckie. I can see the little twerp. He’s leaning across the counter grinning and talking to Andie. She’s laughing at him. My legs start to feel weak. I find a bench and sit down, still able to see into the window of TRAX.

“Hey, Caroline,” I hear a sweet voice say next to me.

        I turn and see Terry. She’s wearing a black dress and bright pink sun hat with match pink heels. Her makeup is perfect like always. I notice she has a few shopping bags in her hands. Great, she’s in a bad mood. She binge shops when Kevin and her fight. The last time they fought, she got her credit card declined.

“Hi, Terry,” I say looking away from her and back to the store.

“What’s going on?” she says following my gaze. “Oh, no. He’s gone back to her?”

“Unfortunately,” I groan into my hands. “What’s wrong with me?”

She laughs her high-pitched laugh. “He’s the one missing out on this beautiful dime, while he’s hunting down a rusty penny.”

“Why am I just a dime?” I say smiling at her a little.

Terry nudges me. “He’s the one with the problem.”

        I hear the bell ring from the door at TRAX. We both look over and see some spikey-haired kid walk out. I sigh in relief it wasn’t Duckie. I don’t even know where I’d begin with him. Not that he’d notice I was sitting here with Terry. He’d probably be on a high from seeing his dream girl. I bring my knees up onto the bench with us and hide my face in my knees.

        Why do I bother to chase Duckie? I don’t think I can handle knowing that I come second to someone who cares a fraction of how much I care for him. Terry shuffles beside me and clears her throat. I look over at her and start to worry. She’s staring across the road and looks at me again. I glance over my knees and see Duckie walking towards us.

I quickly drop my knees and stand up. “I have to go, Terry. Tell me about you and Kevin later!”

        I take off down the sidewalk in a sprint. Once again, I am running from the man I love. I hate myself for it. I hate myself for thinking this would be different. I hate myself for dancing with him at prom. I hate myself for being afraid. I hate myself for knowing Duckie. I hate myself for loving him. I cry as I run towards the park.

        Duckie and I used to hide out in the park when we were kids. The bushes, the trees, behind benches, under picnic tables, these were all of our spots to hide. We’d pretend that we were spies and throw water balloons at people who’d walk by us. I have no clue why I am running there now. I hear Duckie yell my name and I almost stop, but I jump behind a bush.

“Caroline,” I hear him coming closer. “Darling, you should be on the track team with all this running.”

He stops next to the bush and sighs loudly and dramatically. “Caroline, please, don’t make me go in a shrub.”

        I stand up even though I’m out of breath and shaking. I wipe my tears and face him. His smile fades when he sees me. He moves his lips, but doesn’t know what to say. He knows I caught him once again with Andie. He knows he has to choose, but I’m not going to make him. Duckie walks towards me and I instinctively step back.

“What?” he says trying to stay happy. “Are you afraid of me or something?”

I wipe a tear that escapes my eye. “No.”

“Why are you crying?”

I bite my lip and look down. “I’m going home.”

I try to push past him, but he grabs my wrists. “Why are you crying?”

“Duckie, leave me alone,” I try to pull my wrists away.

“Not until you tell me,” he pleads trying to look me in the eye.

I look away. “Stop.”

“Tell me!” he yells.

“I hate myself!”