After one long day of following Josh around as he yelled at everyone that touched me, I'm exhausted.
I'm not mad at him for it.
They, like myself, have earned their place here, and should have known better than to fuck with me.
But that strikes a question, I ask as soon as Josh and I get back to our room.
"Hey, hun?"
I ask, sitting on the bed.
He turns around, squats on the floor, and takes my hands in his.
"Yes, My Love?"
He smiles.
"Wh...What did I do to get on your list?"
He furrows his eyebrows.
"You mean you don't remember?"
I shake my head.
He stands up, picks me up and puts me in his lap on the bed.
"Baby, Ryan was a Gang Boss. You were his right hand man, because you were afraid to lose him. Now that I think about it, it was probably all to get you here to me."
He said it all really slowly, like I was a bomb about to go off with the wrong word trigger.
But, smiled at the end.
Then, it hit me.
I hadn't just killed one person, I'd aided in killing at least 70 people.
The lives I had slip through my fingers.
The dried blood I had in my hair, that was actually mine.
Ryan hitting me all the time.
I had my hand on Josh's face, to show him my memories.
"It explains why I couldn't think of him much in heaven. And, I have you now!
My soul has lived 3 lives without you, but I don't think it could live another like that."
I say, as I play with his hair.
"All 4 of mine, I've wound up down here.
With you, maybe it won't be so bad."
He half smiles.
"And, once we remember everything on earth, you'll dump Ryan and I can keep you safe."
He bent over and kisses my head.
"How's that gonna work, anyway?"
I ask, wanting to know more.
"Our life's will restart at the same time, more or less." He said half assed.
"Wait... will you still be 35 years older than me?! I mean, it doesn't mean anything on this plane, but on earth..."
He puts a finger on my lips.
"I hope you know, you're the only person that gets away with interrupting me."
He takes me out of his lap, puts me in front of him and kisses me.
"We should be within a year of each other, Love." He smiles.
"When our life's restart, we will feel like something is missing till we find each other again."
He half smiles.
"That sounds awful."
I look down.
He picks my chin up with two fingers.
"I will find you. I'm not living without you anymore."
He snaps his fingers, and we both are in pajamas.
He's just in sweatpants.
But he gave me some red and black silk tank and shorts.
I gasp.
"You're going to spoil me, Joshua!"
I tear up a little bit.
He kisses my forehead, then lays down under the covers, opening his arms.
"Anything for you."
He smiles, blushing only slightly.
I lay down with him, and am immediately showered in more kisses, causing me to laugh.
"You're turning me into a sap, baby."
He chuckles, as he gives me a real kiss, then holds me.
I smile.
"I can't wait to find you on earth."
He kiss me behind my ear, as we fall asleep.
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And, that's the last thing I remember, before a brilliant white light, and I forget everything that's happened.
