Hold My Love

Chapter 21: Ashley's, Becky's and Stacy's

October is my least favorite month of the year. Growing up I never celebrated Halloween due to my Christian beliefs so I would always miss out on the Halloween school parties and the trick and treating. People would be so amazed that I have never went trick or treating in all my life, but if that's what your used to then you don't know any different.

Although I completely understood why we didn't celebrate Halloween, at times I would be jealous of the other kids who would go out dressed in costumes for the festivities. At those times grandma would point out John 15:19, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

This verse reminded me that as a child of God I shouldn't try to fit in or conform to this World. This World wasn't my home, my home was in Heaven where I will be given a crown for a princess and wings of an angle.

I turned to this verse in middle school when my home girls decided they didn't want to be friends with me because I was 'acting white' and 'fake'. I turned to this verse in high school when I got kicked out of my lunch table because I got sick of my white friend's ignorance on police brutality and black history and called them out.

And now I turn to it when this girl at the store has the audacity to look me up and down and say, "Can you not afford it?"

At first I thought she was implying on the bottle of Scotch Whiskey I had in my hand. I have had these types of racist comments implying me being black meant that I was poor.

"Well I have connections If you need a little help".

I finally look at her although her face is orange you can see her pale white skin on the spots she missed. She's tall enough to be a model although most of it is her long giraffe neck, and she has bleached blond hair with murky blue eyes.

"Excuse me?"

She flips her fried hair, "Blac Chyna".

I smile, "If I wanted to bleach myself I would have done it along time ago. But I haven't and I wont ever because I love myself".

I hand her a random Jehovah witness card that was left on my windshield this morning, "If you want to stop bleaching your hair and tanning your skin and start loving yourself, give me a call and I'll give you some pointers".

Turning around I leave her with her mouth hanging on the floor. It wasn't the first time I have been targeted by insecure people who bully others to feel better. I used to be really quiet and so bully's would see me as an easy target. My mom-on one of the rare times she came home found me crying because a girl had slapped me and called called me a monkey. Mamma grabbed me by my collar and asked why I didn't punch the girl. I told her I was scared because they were bigger and she told me if she ever found out one of those kids touched me and I didn't fight back, she would beat me till I learned to fight back.

She scared the living crap out of me that day but I worked because the next time one of those girls had yanked me by my hair and I punched her straight in the face with my little Bruce Lee fists. I got in trouble for that but It scared them from touching me again. By the end of High school I was a pro at handling these Ashley's, Becky's and Stacey's. And because I had to go shopping alone due to Grandma's poor health I knew how to put Karen's in their place.

Today was not a great day for her to mess with me either. The first day of my period is always the worst day, my cramps are on 100% and I already know I bled through. I have only eaten a banana when I woke up but threw it up 10 minutes later and I sat on the toilet for 20 minutes because I always get diarrhea with my period and I almost passed out when I got out of the bathroom.

To make matters worse Giovanni had made reservations for us to see an Opera but in my state, I won't be going. I had gone to pick up more Tampons and Pads and decided to stop by the Liquor Store. The only reason why I'm buying this drink is so when he comes over tomorrow or whenever, he has something besides water to drink. I pay for the drink and head to my car leaving the girl with her mouth open.

At my apartment I call up Giovanni to let him know I can't go out today.

"Sophia".

"Gio I'm not feeling well, can we have a rain check on the Opera. I'm sorry".

"Don't be, Are you OK? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah it's just...Yeah I'm OK ".

"Sophia".

"All I need is some rest and I'll be fine Giovanni, promise".

I end the call annoted and head over to my room where I change into cotton grey sweatpants and a white tank top. I close my curtains and walk back to my bed where I set my phone to wake me up in an hour.

***

"I thought love was only true in fairy tales"

"Meant for someone else but not for me"

Ugh Samantha had gotten her fingers on my phone, I stop my alarm and roll out of bed.

Boom Boom

"Oh crap that must be Lace", I make a run to the door.

"Giovanni?"

I rub the sleep from my eyes. Ugh I knew I should have taken off my head scarf.

"I called".

I let him in and close the door behind him, "I told you I was going to sleep".

"But I was worried, You didn't sound OK on the phone".

Oh no. I pray I didn't bleed through, I'm wearing grey.

"I'm on my period Giovanni".

He shrugs his shoulders, "Why didn't you just tell me that? I'm a man Sophia not a boy".

I look away, "You wan't a drink".

"No, but I would love it if you ate something".

He sets a brown bag on the table and fishes out a container of chicken Alfrado.

I check my phone, "It's 5pm, you got out of work early".

He ignores me and heads to the kitchen and returns with a fork, "Sophia you haven't eaten today, please".

I touch his arm and give his muscular bicep a squeeze, "How about I take a quick shower then I eat?"

***

I slip on black spandex and an oversize white Tupac shirt that goes down half way my knees.

In the living room Giovanni has flowers and a box of chocolate laid out. He has made himself home by removing his shoes which he never does and he also took off his suit jacket and tie.

I smile, "What lucky Lady deserves such a treat?"

Gio smiles as well, "She goes by the name of Sophia, you know her?".

I smell the roses, "I might".

Grabbing an empty jar from the kitchen, I fill it with water and place the roses in it. I head back to the living room where I open up the box of chocolate and pick up a square shaped one.

Ew just my luck, "Coconut".

He nods, "Not a fan?"

I politely swallow the sweet, "Nope".

He sits up and eats the rest of the chocolate then brings a heart shaped one to my lips.

"Trust me on this one".

I smile and nod, "Fudge".

He smiles, "See, I would never lie to you mio amore".

I stand up turning the TV on with a handful of heart shaped chocolates in my hand.

Gio hands me a container of pasta, "How about some food now?"

Kissing his cheek I take it from his hand, "Oh baby I thought you'd never ask".

Any horrible or funny period stories? My cramps were so bad that I threw up in math class once.