Things Unsaid

Surprises

"Surprise!"

My hospital room went from a semi furnished cold place to a dimly lit Venice themed bistro with twinkling strung lights and a heavenly scent. Jake awaited me at a table for two all dressed up in a full suit. Tears strung from my eyes as I slowly came to realization on what was happening.

"You did this...for me?" I asked, wiping a tear from my cheek as my smile intensified.

"You're worth everything, Angie. Of course."

He sat me down at the little table and brought over a dish of whole grain fettuchini alfredo with steamed carrots, and a bit of tilapia.

"It's healthy for you and recommended for fighting leukemia. Protein, heart healthy, and yummy." He added.

It was the most perfect thing ever. Everything was so planned out and lovely. In that moment, the world was ours, and nothing would ever split us apart. Everything was perfect. Everything was just right. In the background, a soft playing of my favorite soft songs was playing. The food with every bite ignited my taste buds.

"Jake...I don't even know what to say. This is perfect." The sentence blurred as I got all choked up.

"Angie, love." He came over and gave me a hug that left every inch of me feeling like the happiest girl in the whole wide world. "You're strong. Beautiful. Creative and smart. I'm here for you...always."

We sat there for a while, just embracing the moment. When the play list ran out of songs and the food was long in our stomachs, my happiness shifted emotions a bit. All I could think about was how my life was perfect when I was ever with Jake. He brought the sunshine on the rainy days and the shade on the brightest days. There wasn't a moment where being with him was ever an issue, but there was no guarantee that the chemo was going to work. What if it didn't? What if I died and he would be left without me? The idea of him finding someone new struck interestingly enough, but being alone wasn't a nice thought either. I just wanted him to be with me. Oh, and we met realizing that he too is quite ill. What if I survive this and he doesn't?

"What's wrong?" Jake said in that cute hushed tone.

Shaking my head, I whispered faintly out the words to hold a million more. "I'm scared."

He held me closer in his arms and kissed my forehead. "I know, sweetheart. I am too. For me, for you, for us. But you know what? Who knows what tomorrow brings? Why does it matter, anyway? I embrace every moment for what they are, and who cares about tomorrow if today is the best it can be?"

He brought up a point that just put even more reason into why I love him as much as I do.

We sat there for what should have been an eternity in utter silence. The silence was nice, and being in his arms made it all even better. I listened to his heartbeat. He listening to my breathing. I did hope it wasn't too tense, but after a while we were both simultaneously breathing the same way. It was kind of sweet, actually. 

It wasn't until after the buzzer went off that I broke out of the trance. Just being the beeper to tell me when my next rounds of medications were coming in, it wasn't a big deal. Not until I heard several nurses out in the hall. They were making quite the commotion. I looked over at Jake, who all so cutely fell asleep, so I got my carrier and quietly opened the door to see what was going on. Sure enough, doctors and nurses all were cramming into the room next door. 

It didn't even strike me until I went over with curiosity and saw his face. The surprise floored me. It wasn't fair. This wasn't supposed to be! And yet it was.

With a subtle smile, I knew the last breath of Ky was a peaceful one.