broken bikes

of faults

have you ever

become so fascinated by a book,

that you begin to believe

you too

are living within those pages?

i have

and sometimes

i am convinced

that i am lost forever,

somewhere within those words

the print

surrounds me,

drawing me farther

and farther

into the story

i am her,

and she is me;

we are the same person,

loving and laughing and crying and mourning

because of him

i have disappeared

from reality,

because the spine of the novel

has grown fingers

and seized me by the heart

i see him before me,

body frail and face ashen,

and i think to myself,

what if

this was my actual life?

would i

be as strong as her?

or would i

simply crumble

in his wake?

because i have

surrendered my soul

to what lies

between the two halves

of that blue cover

and i want to know

what kind of cruelty

could steal such a beautiful person,

filled with so much life,

from this world

but then i realize,

that maybe,

it was better

that his magnificent heart

was stolen away

no one

should have the privilege

of loving him

like she did,

like i did

there is laugher

and there are tears,

and my resolve wavers,

as i turn the pages;

i am breaking

and as the last words

surge through me,

i feel both relief

and dread

rankle in my bones

it is over,

it is over,

it is over;

i do not

want it to be over

the fault in our stars,

by john green;

my heart is shattered,

and yet,

i am in love

because now

i am left

with the jagged remains

of the life that i had lived

within those pages

i am left to attempt 

to resume my routine

without the lovely weight

of the book 

on my shoulders

i am left to piece together

the fragile bits

of my emotions,

which have been pushed and pulled

in every direction

because some infinities

are bigger than other infinities,

and the infinity 

that i experienced

is over

>> so another book-based poems. i can't help it, i'm sorry. i take no credit for the brilliant plot line of the fault in our stars. every reference to the novel is credited to john green.