Photographs (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 27

As soon as they all left the room, Luke pulled me into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," he said, "I was so worried."

Hearing those words made a knot form in my stomach because I knew he was just going to worry more once I told him everything. I knew it would hurt him.

"I love you," he cooed, kissing the top of my head. It made me feel comfort for a second, a feeling I hadn't felt since he had left.

"I love you too," I said with a faint smile. I was glad to have him back.

He leaned in, crashing his lips on mine. It was soft and sweet, but full of desperation. He kissed me as if he needed it and couldn't wait any longer. His lips were warm, and when I pulled back I could smell mint on his breath. He pulled back and I met my eyes with his; he looked exhausted.

"Long drive?" I said noticing the bags under his eyes.

"Yeah, we came straight here. All I could do was unload my smelly hockey gear before Ashton drove us right over here," he said running his hands through his hair.

"You didn't have to, you could have slept," I said feeling bad for Luke being exhausted.

"I didn't have to, but I needed to," he said. I opened my mouth to tell him I was sorry his team lost and got knocked out but I closed it. I felt as if it wasn't the right time.

"So what do you know?" Luke asked, already eager for information. I took in a deep breath, I couldn't avoid telling him anymore.

"It's a long story, so let me get through it all okay?" I asked, Luke nodded.

I told him about the MRI. I explained how I had to wait almost an entire day before the results came in. I watched his face fall as I said they found a tumor. I could see the tears forming in his eyes, making tears form in mine. I told him how they caught it forming at a late stage but it wasn't too late. I told him that at the moment I only had about six months to live. He began to silently cry. I paused, letting tears fall from my eyes too as I gripped his hand tighter.

I then took a breath before telling him the better news.

"So they're going to put me in surgery," I said trying to stop crying, "The surgery will remove most of the tumor, not all, because removing all of it could damage my speech or mess something up in my brain, but it gives me more time," I said looking into his eyes that were begging to know how much time they had left with me.

"It could give me from 8 months to 5 years. Since they can't remove all of the tumor due to the location, I won't know exactly how long. The growth has been slow so far." I said letting out a breath and wiping the tears that had finally stopped falling. I had cried so much these past few days I wasn't sure how I had any tears left.

"When do you go into surgery?" Luke asked averting his eyes and sniffling. He was trying to act as if he wasn't crying, but I already knew he was. I never wanted to see him cry.

"Today at 4," I said quietly. He gave my hand a squeeze before pulling me into a hug.

"I love you. I love you so much," he said and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

"I'll be here every step of the way," he said stroking my hair. I nodded pulling back.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Luke turned to me.

"How do you feel about all of this?" he asked lacing my fingers with his and rubbing his thumb slightly over my skin.

"I don't know. I feel a mix of emotions; I feel grateful that I get more time, but I feel like my life is one big countdown. I don't like feeling as if I have a limited number of days," I said meeting his eyes for only a quick second. He nodded understandingly.