twenty

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after a few moments, the door opens. ethan is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. 

"emma?" he asks. "it's three in the morning." his voice is rougher than usual from drowsiness. 

"i know," i say. 

"what's wrong?" 

"i..." now that i think about it, it's stupid. i shouldn't have woken ethan up for this. ethan, of all people, too, i guess my mind isn't working right. 

ethan looks at me expectantly. 

"i can't sleep," i manage to say. 

ethan stares at me. 

"i'm sorry, i'll go. sorry." i start to turn when ethan grabs my wrist. 

"is everything okay?" he asks me. 

"yes," i lie. "i'm fine, i-" 

"are you sure?" he asks, cutting me off. 

i look down at his fingers curling around my wrist. i shake my head slowly. 

he lets go of my arm and steps to the side.

"come in," he says. 

i stare at him. he tilts his head slightly. 

i finally give in and step into his apartment.  everything is perfectly in place. the decor is modern, the walls painted grey. a flat screen TV is mounted on the wall and a dark blue couch is in front of it. the place is impeccably neat. 

ethan walks over to the kitchen area and pulls out two mugs. he pours water into them and puts them in the microwave. i sit in a chair at the island. 

ethan doesn't say anything as he puts a tea bag into each mug, stirring them with a spoon. He slides a mug toward me. 

"no honey?" i ask. 

"no. this tea helps you relax." 

i've never heard of that before, but i drink it nonetheless. the tea is bitter but it actually doesn't taste too bad. 

"what are you afraid of?" ethan asks me finally. 

i look down into my tea. "i've never been jumped like that before, and when you said i wasn't completely safe..." the words from my mouth sound hysterical. 

"do you feel unsafe?" 

i shrug. 

ethan stirs his spoon in his tea. "nothing will happen to you, emma," he says. "i won't let anything happen, all right?" 

i nod again. 

this is so odd, to be having tea at three in the morning in ethan's apartment. hours ago, we were stuck in an elevator, yelling at each other; and here ethan is telling me he's not going to let anything happen to me. 

"what is it that you do?" i ask him. 

"i'm an accountant," he replies. 

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