Love and Lyrium

Self Sacrifice

Each night, she had sat up trying her best to pen a note that didn't sound guilty, but apologized for her decision. Each night she had wound up unable to find the right words. That is why when they arrived back in Haven, she was sheepishly approaching the Chantry, expecting the others to be in the War room. Instead, they were right out in the open, arguing. Nothing else was new and she approached quietly, wishing she could skip this whole conversation.

"It's not a matter for debate," Cullen snarled. He had yet to look at her, but she knew in his stance that he was aware she was there. "There will be abominations among the mages and we must be prepared."

"If we rescind the offer of an alliance, it makes the Inquisition appear incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst." Josephine said, her scowl a new expression that Evelyn had never seen from her before.

Finally, Cullen's sharp eyes finally flicked to her, burning holes in her flesh. She knew she should have written that letter. She shuffled her feet as he scolded her. "What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight? The veil is torn open!"

"We're not monsters, we can control ourselves without any outside help," she retorted, understanding his viewpoint, but disagreeing.

"This is not an issue of self control," he snarled through gritted teeth. She felt her stomach tying itself in knots as he admonished her. "Even the strongest mages can be overcome by demons in conditions like these." As he spoke, his tone seemed to lighten ever so slightly. She realized then that he was not angry with her. He was afraid. There was something about abominations that terrified the Commander. She pressed her lips together and her cheeks flushed as she averted her gaze.

"Enough arguing. None of us were there," Cassandra spat. "We cannot afford to second guess our people." She turned her face to Evelyn, her expression both disappointed yet sympathetic. Evelyn wondered how she accomplished it. "The sole point of the Herald's mission was to gain the mages' aid and that was accomplished."

"The voice of pragmatism speaks... and here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments." Dorian appeared behind Cassandra and leaned cooly on one of the support pillars of the Chantry, crossing his legs. He'd left his cloak and staff behind again. She was also certain he had taken the time to comb his mustache and touch up his eyeliner before presenting himself. A ritual she probably should have worked into her mad dash to the Chantry. She felt disheveled, she likely looked it too.

"Closing the Breach is all that matters," Cassandra said, sparing him a glance and sighing.

"I got a taste of the consequences if we fail," Evelyn offered, her gaze solely on Cullen and her voice soft. "Let's make sure we don't." She added a small smile which made his cheeks flush slightly as he shuffled half a step backwards.

"We will not fail," Cassandra said with confidence, shattering the moment that Evelyn was sharing with the suddenly nervous Commander.

"We should look into the things you saw in this dark future," Leliana said softly. When Evelyn glanced at her, the face from the future flashed across her vision, she nearly whimpered and must have reacted slightly. As Leliana continued to speak, Cullen cleared his throat only loudly enough to draw Evelyn's attention. When she glanced at him, his head was cocked in question. She shook her head a fraction so no one else would see. "The assassination of Empress Celene, a demon army..."

"Sounds like something a Tevinter cult might do. Orlais falls, the Imperium rises, chaos for everyone!" Dorian said, his voice dripping with sarcastic humor.

"One battle at a time," Cullen said, holding up a hand. "It's going to take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits. Let's take this to the war room." His normal carefree smirk had returned as everyone had spoken. "Join us. None of this means anything without your mark, after all."