Thoughts After Dusk

Business Marriage

(Contains mild BDSM, for those who do not like reading, please skip. Thank you).

I knew what I signed up for, but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would end up in this position. I had envisioned so many other positions in which I would happily submit too, but never this one.

"We agreed to this, two consenting adults, you read it all and we sat down and discussed the entire arrangement, which you agreed to, you signed". His voice echoes through the room.

If I had known at the time, I'd be in this situation I don't think I would have. But, instead I did it for the sake of my familys reputation.

"Now you want more and I know we said two months, but I can't do this. I can't, it's all became too complicated, a lot more than I thought it would be." I say, not looking at him, instead my gaze is directed to the paper with our signatures on it.

"You said no feelings, no attachments, purely business and that is the sole reason I agreed, a business marriage. A merger to be more precise, without the consequence of misunderstanding or complications . Everything in black and white, no blurred lines and marriage to save both our families reputations." I throw his own words back in his face.

He slowly, cautiously makes his way towards me. Until we're face to face, I keep my face neutral, which is the polar opposite to his. His face is full of overwhelming emotions; sadness, guilt, but most of all love.

Looking up at him now I see the amount of love he has. That scares me, so I turn my attention to the wall in the far corner, which I can see past his right shoulder.

He doesn't do or say anything, we just stand directly in front of each other, no one moving or speaking. He already knows how to read me, I don't need to speak or do anything.

The tension in the air is enough to convey what I feel for him. I'm on the brink of falling in, but I'm working against gravity.

I look up at him to see he is looking back at me with a pang of sadness but also love in his eyes.

One last time after this I walk, no listening to my emotions, or falling for your sweet seduction and charm. I tell myself as I look at him.

I convince myself, but deep down I know as soon as I let those words sink in, I'll regret them.

How long can someone run from their own feelings, their own emotions?

"I reviewed it and it turns out when this agreement was drawn up, there is a little leeway the agreement." I look at him before continuing, "Which means I can terminate this biding contract, without it affecting either one of our family businesses. I know we legally agreed to a year long marriage, but with everything. I would like to leave - Before I go for good, you have every right to decline what I say next, but could we -". I didn't get to complete what I was saying, I was over his shoulder and in a matter of seconds we where back in his room.

"Welcome, back." He says in humour to me. I smile back, I don't trust my words or voice.

How can you trust someone, when all your life you've experienced is betrayal, lies and deceit?
I want to trust, but I not ready to give in to you .

"You know I should make you suffer for, wanting to leave me". I hear humour in his tone, as he tries to mask the sadness in his voice and eyes.

I can't be in love with him. It's not possible we've only know each other a matter of a few months, it's to fast.

Yet, it hurts me to see him hurt, it kills me to know I'm the one causing the pain. If it was anyone else I would go and make them pay for how they are hurting him.