Aliya of Bahariya

Guided Towards Water

Soothing music fills my head, sounds which I don't know how to describe by instrument but they are sweet and soft. Their notes glide in a continuous string through my mind, almost like they're coming directly from the sky, effortlessly passing through before drifting away to be replaced with new ones. My body has no weight or direction, and I haven't looked up from my feet for a while. This causes a strange shift in my perception of movement, staring down at the relentless sand, which always looks the same, makes me feel like I'm walking in the same spot and never moving forward, even though my feet are taking steps. An eerie sensation falls over us- this place and I. I can't look away, and walk without moving. My heart begins to beat faster. 

Suddenly I stumble out to flat ground, almost tripping at the sudden surface change. I pause to look around. Behind me are the sand dunes and ahead of me is flat, very hard, reddish earth; there are rocks strewn about with larger rocky mountains rising out of the ground. It sobers me up a little to see the change in landscape, and I feel hopeful for water. This is much, much easier to walk on and I don't stumble around like I did. I breathe a sigh of relief and look back smugly at the sand, eager to get far away from it. I see the largest mountain in the immediate area up ahead. I decide to head for that, so that I might climb it and take a look at my surroundings. 

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Reaching the mountain and looking up at its grandeur, I question myself as to how I will climb it. Physically, it will be quite the challenge. My stomach feels queasy and my head feels light when I think about the fact that I might not see anything except emptiness, stretching far ahead of me, anywhere that I would look. At least it won't be sand. Or maybe it will be, a dreadful little voice pessimistically chirps in my head.

I would probably die on top of this mountain because I exerted myself so, only to climb it and find that there is no hope. If I don't, I'll die anyway. I take a moment to stare at the ground, and let the fear and insecurity wash over me before I push it aside. Then I gather up the skirt of my dress, hike it up to above my knee, and tie it in a knot so that it doesn't restrict my movements. 

Climbing is harder than what I was anticipating, and I had expected it to be pretty bad; every falter makes me feel like I'm being thrown to the bottom. I have a flashback to the very moment I woke up in the desert and experienced the sensation that I was being thrown to the ground.

I climb on hands and knees when necessary and rest often. The heat is intense, and it makes me hazy. I finally reach the top, allowing myself to collapse to the ground. Panting and sweating hard, I raise myself up slightly with great effort, crawling over to the opposite edge of the mountain. I keep my eyes closed from fear that I won't see any hope, and I drop my head between my arms, allowing myself to cry a little. Please, please, please. Letting out my breath slowly and standing, I open my eyes. I scan the horizon carefully and my heart begins to beat faster. I see green.

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I half-slide, half-run down the mountain; dust and small rocks kicked up in my wake. When I have almost reached the bottom, I skid the wrong way on a larger rock and fall, cutting my arm.

"Agh," I gasp. I pull up my sleeve to examine the situation. It burns immediately, but not too large or deep, luckily. Blood runs down my arm and stains a spot on my sleeve. I look at the wound closer, watching the way the blood runs perfectly through the slightly visible lines on my skin. I examine the gash; an opening into my skin, my body. The stinging and burning feel like they're fighting each other to see which can be felt more. I gingerly let my sleeve fall back down to cover my arm, then hastily I get up and start walking, eager to reach the green.

It doesn't take long. Reaching the vegetation, I look up at thin trees with large green leaves. Seeing life is thrilling, and the possibility of water makes me dizzy. Bunches of possible food hang down at the top of the tree, but I can think about that later. I walk not far before seeing a glimmer, a ripple. Shrieking slightly and running to the edge of the water, I jump in. The change in temperature makes me gasp as the water instantly cools me. I cup water in my hands and suck it out of them slowly, closing my eyes, reveling in this moment. It brings life and lubrication to my lips, tongue and throat. I feel suddenly overcome by impatience, and plunge my face below the surface, taking big gulps. When I can't breathe, I come back up. Lowering myself down into the water, I sit in a slightly shallow area of the pool, taking mouthfuls here and there, dunking my head under. I splash the wound with handfuls of water outside of the pool so the blood doesn't contaminate the drinking water. A few minutes later, feeling queasy, I throw up liquid on the ground. I suppose I drank too fast.

Emerging from the pool after having slowly sipped handfuls of water, careful this time not to shock my body, I examine the surrounding shrubs, plants and trees. I feel a shiver go through me when I have a realization. I was guided towards water. I smile slightly, feeling so thankful, then ponder a moment. Who am I thankful to? This confuses and tires me. I put my hand on a tree trunk, leaning into it, drumming my fingers on the hard surface.

"Now what?" I mutter. "Food, I suppose."

What if it is something I can't eat, and it harms me in some way? I look back at the tree, seeing again the bunches of fruit hanging down. My eyes sweep the area, seeing that some have fallen to the ground. I pick one up, they are oval shaped and smell sweet. They seem okay, so one goes in my mouth. Soft, with something hard in the center. I isolate the hard piece to my other cheek then spit it out. They are good and hopefully not harmful so I gather more. Some seem to have been eaten by little bugs, so I leave those alone. As I'm munching, I remember what they are. Dates! These are called dates! Thrilled and grinning I eat more, pleased that another memory has returned. 

The sun is setting as I sit leaning against the tree with my eyes closed, chewing. A small mound of the pits from the fruits are beside me. I shake my foot as I'm deep in thought. How long can I stay here? How long will the dates last? Will I eventually have to move on, hoping to find other people? What if I don't find anyone, and then can't find my way back here?

My eyes fly open with the shock of how serious and deeply troubling these thoughts are. I try to clear my mind of them, and focus instead on my victory.