Keske Moments

My dreams were starting to come true

Can: Sanem, I cannot express to you how sorry I am for my actions.

Sanem: Can it's okay. I'm okay you don't need to.--

Can: No its not Sanem. I should've stopped all of this. Prevented this pain. God I can't believe what has happened with us. I feel terrible.

Can was heavily sighing covering his eyes with his hands to keep himself from crying. He was in so much pain from the hurt that had happened to her. He always thought how naive she was but there he had been trusting Polen and wanting to believe in his mom. How dumb he felt for allowing those two to be a part of his life and more importantly getting in the way of his relationship with Sanem.

Sanem: Hey, it's not your fault. What happened, happened. We can't change it. We are just learning to live with the aftermath.

Can: It shouldn't of happened in the first place.

Sanem: We can't stop fate Can. But we can stop ourselves from repeating history. Can we?

...Look I didn't mean for this morning to get so heavy. Let's just change subjects shall we?

Can: No. (speaking softly and looking down)

Sanem: Hmm?

Can: We need to talk about everything. I'm ready to talk about everything. Huma, Polen, my leaving, everything and anything that will keep you here with me.

Sanem: You really want to talk?

Can: We need to.

Sanem: Okay. Since you are offering let's start with Polen.

Can: Ok, Polen I haven't spoken to or seen since my birthday party and the night I proposed to you.

Sanem: Okay. Huma?

Can: I caught her on the phone with Polen plotting ways to split us up. At the time we had already broken up. I finally confronted her and when she denied it Emre told me how she never approved of our relationship. She was constantly plotting against us.

Sanem: I can only imagine.

Can: I let her know how she ruined my life and she finally backed off. I haven't heard or seen from her since.

Sanem: I'm sorry it turned out that way.

Can: I'm not. She destroyed the best thing to ever happen to me. I know I'm not good at forgiving but she gave me no choice. I believed her wanting to be in my life and she wrecked my shot at true happiness and a family.

Sanem: Regardless, I'm sorry.

Can: I let history repeat itself. I wanted so badly to give her a chance and she let me down again. But I'm not going to give her all the credit with what's happened. I'm not going to let her determine my fate and certainly not the universe. I do believe in fate but I don't believe we are controlled by it.

Sanem: Agreed. How about you leaving?

Can: I was too headstrong. I was jealous of you. I was being insecure with everything going on and felt like I let you down so badly you gave up on me. Nothing was going right and I was starting to lose it. I needed to get my shit together. I had almost paralyzed a man over my anger. I wasn't the person worthy of being with you. I couldn't stay knowing that.

Sanem: Can, I think I should get going.-- (looking around getting emotional)

Can knew this was the conversation to make or break everything he has built his life upon. His mountains are Sanem. His forests are Sanem. His hopes, dreams, and destiny are Sanem. She will be the only love he will have ever known. He feels her getting scared and wanting to leave. He goes to hold her hands as she is starting to cry.

Can: Now I show you that I've changed. I'm going to be the man you deserve. The one you choose to be with. God I love you so much. Everything I have gone through good, bad or otherwise has led me back to the same thing. You. It will always be my love for you. I want to be with you for the rest of time. I can't breathe without you. Last night was the best sleep I've had in over a year. My dreams were starting to come true.

Sanem: What do you mean?

Can: All I do is dream about our life together. You, me, and our children in this house. I dream of us doing everything together. Swimming in the pool, traveling, daily life, being together in the kitchen, all of it. Last night was the first time I didn't wake up in tears that it couldn't be real.

Sanem: I have the same dreams. (she squeezed his hands in disbelief) What do we do now?

Can: Will you spend the rest of your day here with me? I don't want to lose you but I don't want to scare you either. Please stay here with me?

Sanem: ....Okay. I will.

Can pulled her in for a hug. They started clearing the table and finished washing the dishes together. Can took every opportunity to hold her hand and touch her. He missed her so much. It was never enough for him but it was a start. They spent the rest of the day hanging around the house. Can showed Sanem more of the garden and flowers he had planted for her. She couldn't believe how beautiful this place was. She was almost becoming nostalgic for a future there with him and their children but tried her best to keep herself from dreaming too much. They spent their afternoon lounging by the pool reading books and snacking on grapes and other fruits. They both kept catching each others eyes as they felt they were falling into life together again. It felt so comfortable. They just had to let go and have it together. The sun started to set and Sanem decided although things were going so well she needed to leave. She needed to go back to her hotel and think things through. She needed her routine and her medication.

Sanem: Can, I need to leave. It's time and I've enjoyed our time together today but I need to go back to my hotel.

Can: Okay. Do you want me to drive you? I mean I'm happy to, I just want to give you the option.

Sanem: I think I'm going to take a taxi but thank you for the offer.

Can: I will be here if you need anything. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying in Istanbul for good.

Sanem went back to her hotel in the early evening. She felt as though she was trying to catch her breath. He did it again. He made her fall in love with him again. She believed every word he said. She could see their future so clearly. Children, that house, and a loving happy life together. Her future was always going to be Can. With that in mind she packed her bags and checked out of her hotel.