Ramblings - A Collection of Short Stories

It Doesn't Matter

The girl sat on the hard wooden bench, staring out onto the mostly frozen lake before her. The night sky blanketing the world above her was void of any twinkling stars or blinking lights of airplanes. For now, it was painted with hues of purple and blue while the inevitable darkness of the night sky lurked behind the vibrant colors, just waiting to make its appearance known. The park in which she found herself in was silent save for the occasional giggle from small kids who passed by, hand in hand with their parents, as they made their way home. The common noises associated with nature were all the girl could hear, but the sounds of nature aren’t really something that you hear. As time passed, the buzz of insects, the chirp of birds, and the rustle of leaves and branches all fade away as if they never existed, unless you really listened to them. As time passed, those sounds merged with what was unimportant and simply blocked out from attention. That was the problem the girl saw in life. Things faded away when they’re least expected to and it becomes easy to lose one’s grasp on what was important and what was less important. Truly, there are no insignificant things in life. That was how she saw it. Every little thing mattered in some way or another and every little thing deserved at least a share of your attention.

Her head slowly turned as she heard the heavy footfalls of an approaching body gain volume. Her dark eyes met with the light ones of the boy gradually making his way towards her sitting form. His light brown hair was slightly unruly, clearly blown that way by the wind as he, she assumed, ran from where the had both came from and to their current location. His dress shirt was crinkled, she noticed, and his tie was loose around his neck. She guessed that he had left his suit jacket at the venue at which they found themselves just a half an hour ago.

In the chilly twilight, she turned her head back towards the frozen water as he sat next to her, the heat from his body information enough about his close proximity. She knew that once her disappearance was noted, he would be the first one out the door and, certainly, the first one to find his was to her side.

“Why’d you leave?” he asked quietly, his voice just a mere whisper in the breeze.

The girl ran her hand through her hair, squinting at a spot before her in concentration. She didn’t know how to articulate her thoughts. Heck, her thoughts didn’t even make sense in her own head.  

“I—I—I don’t…It doesn’t matter anymore,” she answered, almost just as quietly. “It goes completely against my philosophy of life, but I feel as if nothing matters anymore. Or, maybe, I need things to not matter anymore. I don’t know. I…I don’t know.”

She heard the rustling of his clothes as he repositioned himself on her right. His left leg was pulled up onto the bench as he faced her with his whole body. With a light, comforting touch, his left hand was placed on her right shoulder, gently asking her with the gesture to face him as they talked.

“What do you mean?” he asked, once she was situated to face him.

She looked at him with wide, vulnerable, and confused eyes. Her eyes silently pled for him to understand when she couldn’t understand things herself.

“I know it’s confusing right now. I know that it feels as if everything’s rushing toward us at full speed. What’s more is that I know that every time someone asks what you need right now, all you want to ask for is a pause button,” he said, cracking a small smile at his last sentence. “Winona, believe me, I know. But, Winnie, nothing’s happening or going to happen that we can’t handle or deal with. Remember what you tell me all the time, Winnie, it always works out for all of us in the end.”

At his words, Winona smiled. This was why, though they’ve only known each other for a couple of years, Mason grew to be the one person that always found his way to comfort her and vice versa. He knew the right things to say. He knew the right things to do. He knew how to act. He knew how to feel. He knew her.

Her spirits were uplifted, yet she still felt the need to explain herself to him. She knew that he didn’t need an explanation, but she also knew he would understand why she felt the need to provide him with one. Just like he was with her, she knew exactly how to be around him. She knew him.

“I—I just felt as if everything’s ending and it’s all just being handed to be in a carefully sealed and wrapped box, with instructions and all,” she began, stuttering as she pieced her words together. “I sat there in my graduation party, seeing my father with his associates and acquaintances all the while stealing glances at me. I had no doubt that they were talking about my ‘potential’ and my qualifications. I didn’t go to college with aims to learn absolutely nothing about the real world since everything was set for me once I finished. As funny and deluded as it sounds, I want to struggle and to fight for my success, but nothing I’ve done or nothing that I am will give me that experience.”

She sighed. She felt as if her words would start to piece together then break apart at the last minute. She didn’t know how Mason could even begin to comprehend what I had just said, but, by the nod of his head and the look in his eyes, she knew he understood.

“It just—it really just feels as if nothing I’ve fought for up to this point when it comes to establishing myself and my own successes really matter,” Winnie continued. “Sure, to the people who have become close to me over the years, it’ll matter to an extent, but to the people I want to leave lasting impressions on, those impressions have already been left. By my family. My name. My father.”

“Winnie, stop for a second,” Mason said. “Life isn’t all about work, business, or impressions left on people who you’d most likely associate with work. It’s so much more than that. Success isn’t just found in a job or a business. It’s found in so much more, including yourself and your own self-respect. There’s so much more to be successful in. Especially when it comes to life as a whole. Never forget that.”

It was those words that finally got through to her. For the first time ever, Winnie had felt the weight of reality in the form of her advancing future, but life and the future isn’t solely about your career or your occupation. It’s seemed so astounding to her that she connoted success to a flourishing career when there was so much more to achieve out of life than raking in money. She forgot her own meaning to life. For a moment, she had lost her grasp on what was important and what was less important.