chapter twenty-two

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"It was a normal day," Alyx says, fidgeting with her acrylics. "I woke up and made Benny breakfast. He came downstairs, ate his eggs, and then went back up to the bedroom to get dressed."

I nod my head, feigning interest. When she said that this was going to be a long story, I didn't realize she planned to relay the mundane details of her morning routine.

"Anyway," she goes on, "as he was picking out his clothes for work, I took off my pajamas so I could get in the shower. I shower in the morning, but he likes to shower at night. It works for us. We're never fighting over the bath—"

"Alyx," I cut her off, internally cringing, "please get on with the story."

"Right. Sorry."

"If you guys never quarrel over the bathroom, what was your fight about?"

"Seeing my, um, naked body kind of excited him," she says, blushing scarlet. "We decided to squeeze in a round of morning—"

I hold up my hands. "Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. The last thing I need to hear is a detailed description of you two doing the dirty. What happened after your a.m. sexy time?"

"See, that's the thing. It was during sex that our fight started," she informs me.

I'm beginning to regret entertaining this conversation. "Okay, well, what... what do you mean by that?"

"As we were, you know, going at it, he called me by the wrong name," she says, wiping her swollen eyes. "I called him out on it. Of course, he told me I was crazy. But I know what I heard, Gemma."

"And what did you hear?" I ask. Benson is basically human perfection. There is no way he would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend.

Sniffling, she answers, "He called me Raelyn."

I freeze. "He, um... he what?"

"Benny's kind of vocal during sex. He's always moaning and shit, which is usually a turn-on for me, too," she overshares. "Today, though, he was like, 'That feels so good, Raelyn.'" She shakes her head in dismay. "I don't know who this Raelyn skank is, but—"

"Raelyn wasn't a skank," I snap. "She was my best friend, and she killed herself in December."

"Oh." Alyx presses her lips together. "I... I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I relent. "However... there is something about Raelyn you should know."

She raises her perfectly plucked eyebrows. "Okay, what is it?"

I pick up my phone and locate the most recent picture I have of my late best friend. "This," I say, showing her the photo, "is Raelyn. See the resemblance?"

Alyx's eyes widen. She must notice the similarities, but she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. "We kind of look alike, I guess."

"Kind of? Alyx, it's uncanny. She could be your sister. Your twin."

"Eh, that's a stretch."

"Oh, my god. You know what? Never mind."

"What I don't get is why Benny called out her name instead of mine," Alyx says. "If she's dead, he obviously isn't cheating on me with her."

"Benson had a crush on her for a long time," I tell her. "A really long time, actually. I think he was in love with her."

"Did he still have those feelings when she died?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"So is that why he pursued me?" she asks. "Because I look like some dead girl?"

"I don't have the answers you're looking for, Alyx," I reply. To myself, I mutter, "All I have is a boatload of questions."

"What should I do, Gemma?" She looks at me with her sad, green eyes. "I'm pregnant, and there's a good chance my boyfriend is only with me to replace his dead crush. We can't bring a baby into this world if that's the reason we're together."

"I understand that, but—"

"I'm not Raelyn. I can't be Raelyn. I want him to love me for me. Is that so much to ask?"

I watch as she buries her face in her hands and begins to sob. I pat her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, but I don't know what I'm doing. I'm no good at this. I have no idea how to help her.

All I know is my initial assumption about Benson not noticing the similarities between Alyx and Raelyn was incorrect. He definitely noticed. In fact, it's likely what drew him to her. He probably has a type—I like muscular black men, he likes redheads—but the name mix-up during sex is suspicious.

And poor Alyx is devastated about it.

"I'm sure it was an honest mistake," I assure her. "Do you want me to drive you home? I think you guys need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to see him right now." She is adamant. "I have nowhere to go, Gemma. I have no friends. My parents despise me. I'm such a mess!"

Every fiber of my being urges me not to utter the words that are about to come out of my mouth. Against my better judgment, I say, "You can stay with me tonight."

She seems just as shocked as I am. "Are you sure?" she inquires.

"Yes." No, I'm not sure. I'm not sure at all. "I'm sure, Alyx."

She envelops me in a tight hug. "You're the best, Gemma. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Oh, god. This is already weird. What have I gotten myself into?

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