the period project

rant eighty-six: early surprises

anonymous 

oh look theres a crimson niagra falls going on in my underwear.

what a nice way to start the day, huh?

notice the sarcasm.

guess who got their period early today?

so imagine this. youre on a vacation with ur family and ur in new york and ur like yeah woohooo and u have this whole thing planned and then LOOK WHOS HERE? ITS THIS LITTLE FUCKER HERE TO RUIN MY VACATION!

and the fucking hard part is no one understands THE PAIN AND TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING WHILE WATCHING SHOWS AND ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING FUNNY LIKE I WAS REWATCHING SUPERNATURAL AND ITS THE SCENE WHERE SAM LOST HIS SHOE AND I COULDNT STOP CRYING AND THINKING THAT HE NEVER GOT HIS SHOE BACK DAMMIT

AND THEN THE CRAVINGS BEGIN. I WANT TO EAT CEREAL. GUESS FUCKING WHAT? THERES NO BOWLS HERE SO IM STUCK EATING CEREAL AT 12 PM IN A FUCKING COFFE MUG AND THEN THE GOD DAMN CRAMPS ARRIVE IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE IS REPEATEDLY STABBING ME IN THE UTERUS WITH A GOD DAMN RUSTY KNIFE THATS COVERD IN LEMON. DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO GET A PAPER CUT AND THEN SQUIRT LEMON IN IT THATS HOW

AND THEN THE CRAVINGS ARRIVE AND I JUST WANT TO EAT A NUTELLA AND PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY WITH M&MS SADWICH AND A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT? THERES NONE OF THOSE THINGS HERE SO IM ON THE GROUND FUCKING CRYING AND THEN IM LOOKING FOR DORITOS AND THERE ISNT ANY AND THERE GOES NIAGRA FALLS AGAIN. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MY PARENTS ARE STILL SLEEPING

LIKE NO PERIOD GO AWAY UR NOT WELCOME FUCK U MOTHER NATURE

AND NO ONE EVEN UNDERSTANDS ONE OF MY GUY FRIENDS KNEW AND HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND AND HES LIKE at least ur not pregnant WELL YES OF COURSE I DIDNT DO THE DO YOU SHITHEAD