Sweeran One-Shots

You Are The Only One (part 2)

Hours later, after finding a nanny, calling a car to bring them home as it had begun raining, Ed and John headed home. With his son napping, Ed thought about Taylor - seeing her had put a smile on his face, something that he had only done when John did something funny or to make his son laugh. He hadn’t careless smiled in a very long time - and smiling was something he found that he did often with Taylor. During his time spent with her back in 2013 nearly seven years ago, when they were touring the USA together and spending nights up late in hotel rooms watching something from one of their DVD collections or writing songs,he realized he fell in love with her. Somewhere along those lines, they both knew it wasn’t right and that it wouldn’t work then, it would fall apart and leave them alone and friendless. But it wasn’t like he stopped loving her, you don’t just stop loving your best friend - it became a different type of love, or maybe it was always a different type of love. Of course, he loved Athina and was in love with her for a very long time - she was the mother of his child, a spitting image of her that in her death would haunt him forever. Went things started to go sour with her, as much as they both tried to fix it - he knew they couldn’t but during those times Taylor never crossed his mind. John was at his focus then - to make sure that he was safe, happy, and healthy. Looking back, he realized there was nothing either of them could have done to make it so that they could stay happy together. Through it all he didn’t forget Taylor, he just forgot how he felt with her - how he felt lighter, happier almost in her presence - but at the time all he wanted was a friend to talk to about what he was going through, both before and after his wife’s death. It’s not like anything would come of this, she was happy, at least she seemed happy - but then again, he seemed happy too.

When the doorbell rang, John was on the floor playing in his baby gym and Ed was chopping up ingredients for the fajitas. He opened the door to find Taylor with a tall, dark, and handsome man holding a bottle of wine and a six pack of Ed’s favorite beer. Ed smiled, taking the wine so he could shake his hand after hugging Taylor. “Ed this is my boyfriend, Asher.” 

“Taylor talks pretty highly of you - she’s really excited about catching up, she’s missed you,” Asher said, following Ed and Taylor into the kitchen. He passed them drinks and turned back to chopping.

“So, fajitas for dinner because it’s one of about four meals I make decently - I really should learn more for the sake of my son’s diet but I have a few more years before he begins to eat real food.” Ed smiled, turning on the stove and getting out a pan to fry up the ingredients. 

“Where is he?” Taylor asked, looking around for him. After figuring out his location, she went and scooped him up, bringing him to the kitchen. She cuddled the baby into her arms, studying him and smiling down at him. John smiled and giggled up at Taylor, grabbing a hold to the end of her and tugging. “His eyes are just like yours, Ed.”

Ed glanced over at Taylor, smiling, but turned back to the cooking quickly. Asher was studying Taylor holding his son, like he was picturing a future of children and smiles with Taylor - something that Ed found so difficult to think about life with someone else. He fried some more veggies, and finished his beer, he placed the food on the table and they sat down to eat. 

By the end of the night, John was asleep and Taylor had moved closer to Ed on the couch, leaving Asher across the room on the love seat. Their conversation was full on reminiscing about the RED Tour days and how much fun they had - time spent that Asher was not a part of so there was no way her could really be an active participant. Ed thought it rude, but with Taylor turned fully facing him on the couch with her arm resting on her elbow against the back of it and her feet tucked underneath her, he didn’t really mind it that much. It was bringing back the long forgotten feelings that they developed on late night hotel snack binges in cities across the U.S., or beach days in Rhode Island, being on stage together and smiling and laughing with no one really knowing what those looks and smiles meant. Tonight was changing things for Ed, bringing back all of that so quickly with her a laugh that hadn’t changed in two years and a look in her that said “Only you understand this.” But then it changed, quickly in an awkward pause, Taylor reached her hand out to his hand, the one on his knee and he knew the question he was dreading was coming. 

“How are you doing, like really doing since the accident? And don’t you dare lie to me, Ed.” Taylor asked, her eyes sympathetic. 

“I’m alright, I think. I feel like it’s my fault, guilty that my son won’t grow up with his mother alive, if I didn’t leave she never would have gotten in that car to chase after me. I’m doing as good as I can, Taylor. I loved her, yeah, but from the time she was pregnant on - you know, I texted you about it, it was off, she didn’t seem - it was rough, we fought constantly, I tried not to, but so many things would set her off - I’d ask about making dinner and she’d fight over having chicken or beef, stupid things like that. I just don’t know how it went wrong, but we tried to fix it, I tried at least, I tried so hard for John, and for her and for myself. I did love her, but it wouldn’t get fixed ever, Taylor, no matter how hard we both tried - the love was gone and there was nothing either of us could do about it but we didn’t want to do anything about it - like ending it, because of John - if we did end it and live separately but as together as we could with John maybe she would still be here. So I feel guilty, and terrible, but somehow, I feel okay too. Sorry for rambling on and on.” Ed wiped a tear from his eye, not realizing that he had started to cry while talking. 

“Ed, it’s okay to feel those things, something you’ll make sense of it all and John - you just need to keep Athina present in his life, even if she’s gone. Keep her there through photos and videos and stories, he doesn’t need to know the bad stuff, not yet and not for a very very long time, keep her there that way. He does need to know who he is.” Taylor pulled him in for a hug, and wiped tears from her own eyes when she pulled way.   

They chatted some more, now bringing Asher back into the conversation. When the baby monitor went off, he went to take care of his song and came back to find Asher and Taylor in a very serious discussion - almost an argument.  “Uhm, he just needed a fresh nappy, all good and back to sleep!” 

“We’re actually gonna get going, Ed, we’re out of here early tomorrow to head to Paris. It was good catching up though! I’ve missed you, we need to do this more often!” Taylor hugged him and he said his goodbyes and shook Asher’s hand before showing them to the door.