It Starts With A Smile & Ends With An All Night Long Slow Kiss

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“Good morning, Ed! Merry Christmas!” I kissed him on the cheek and then curled into him. The room was filled with bright light, it must have been early morning. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead just on my hairline. 

“Merry Christmas, beautiful.” I scooted up from where my head lay on his chest and rested my head next to his so I could look into his eyes. “Should we go get breakfast?”

I curled my leg around his, “We could just stay here for a bit longer.” I kissed him again and relaxed into him. We were in Hawaii for Christmas, just the two of us. We started taking trips three years ago, after two years of trying to get pregnant Christmas became a sad time when it should have been a happy time. Taking a trip, getting away from home at this time was an attempt to distract us. 

We went somewhere different every year, and in the last year we decided to stop all fertility treatments. It seemed that after years of doctors’ visits and treatments such as shots, in-vitro, and other different attempts that there was no hope. We’d given up, and it seemed we stopped having sex for the fun of it, for the love it but for the purpose of a baby after awhile that we lost ourselves and our love in the process. We didn’t like it, and so, this past summer we stopped it all. We took the time to relearn our love for each other like it was when we were first together, and first married. Before the chaos of wanting a baby started.

I sat up and straddled my husband, letting my long curly hair fall down in front of my face, curtaining his face as I lowered my face to his. “Let’s go for a walk on the beach.” I kissed him quick then got out of bed, walking to put on a bathing suit. 

“No presents first?” He looked at me with puppy dog eyes from where he lay in bed. 

“After, I promise.” I lifted his shirt over my head and fastened the bikini top. “Besides, we’ll be quick, I promise.”

He got out of bed and pulled on yesterdays shorts and the shirt I wore to bed and we headed out of our little villa down to the water. We walked with out feet in the waves, hand in hand for a bit then turned around and headed back. I picked a beautiful shell out off the sand and carried it back, setting it on the dresser to decorate when we got home for our Christmas tree next year. We took a quick shower together and got dressed before ordering brunch and exchanging gifts. Cuddled together on the couch where we could see the ocean, we lay in the afternoon light, enjoying each other and relaxing.  

My mind was trying not to think about how this holiday should be with a baby, and our families, in our home, not the two of us alone in Hawaii. I got up and headed into the bedroom. 

“Where you going, Taylor?” Ed sat up.

“Bathroom, don’t worry, I’ll be back in a few.” I closed the bedroom door and dug through my bag. I knew there was one in here somewhere. I grabbed my phone and brought it with me, closing and locking the door. And then I waited, and waited and waited. It seemed like an eternity but it always does. I must have peed on hundreds of these over the last 5 years, sometimes getting my hopes up by false positives, but mostly getting them crushed. I dropped the little white stick in the sink and tears instantly flooded my eyes. How? I thought. Then I remembered not having a period this month or the month before. I assumed it had been stress at first, having been working on new projects and then with the one I had just missed it seemed off. My shorts were a little tight this trip, and my boobs did hurt quite a bit yesterday when we were having sex. I didn’t think anything of it. Could it finally be real? I know that I shouldn’t get my hopes up but maybe, just finally, we were having a baby of our own.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and picked up the pregnancy test, walking out of the bathroom, I dropped my phone back into my purse and headed out to Ed. I stuck the test in my back pocket and sat down on the table facing him. 

“Is everything okay, love?” He reached for my hands, holding them, “You’ve been crying. Listen, Tay, I know that this isn’t how we’ve wanted to spend our Christmases these past few years and I know how rough it is, but just listen to me babe, it’ll be alright. We’ve got each other, and maybe next year we can start looking into alternatives. I love you, Taylor, just try to think about the positives and the what ifs and not all the negatives.”

I laughed at him as the tears returned to my eyes. I wiped them and took a deep breathe. “I wasn’t thinking about that at all actually. I have something I want to show you and I don’t want us to get too excited now but it could be a great thing, a Christmas miracle perhaps.” I took the stick out of my back pocket and handed it to him. “I think you’re gonna be a dad, Ed!” 

“Seriously? Why’d you decide to take it? We’ll fly home tomorrow to see the doctor. We can leave now if you’d like.” He grabbed a hold of my hands again, talking very fast and I just laughed at him.

“I’ve missed two periods now. And my shorts are tight, and don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that my bikinis aren’t looking as good on me as they used to.” I moved to sit on his lap, facing him, straddling him back against the couch. “I don’t want us to get too excited, but two missed periods is two months and that probably means almost the end of first trimester so we’re getting safer if I’m right.” 

“Maybe we should’ve stopped trying a long time ago.” He undid my shorts and pulled them down a bit, placing his large rough palms just below my belly button. “Taylor, we probably have a baby in there!” 

“I really hope we do. Merry Christmas, Daddy.” I kissed him briefly, and then his hands were pulling at my tank top over my head, and his lips were on mine with so much force and passion. My back against the hardwood floor he pulled off my shorts and kissed his way up my body back to my lips. And then we were making love with a passion we hadn’t had in awhile, my legs around him holding him to me even after we were done with his lips leaving sweet kisses across my neck and chest. It was definitely the best Christmas.

AN: this is very old, written around last Christmas and for that I apologize for not writing anything new for a long time. I've been crazy busy, espically last week and I ahve good reasons. They may involve cats, pizza, a dance party, and taylor swift - if you know what I mean. :)

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