Stay With Me (Muke)

Ch. 5 - Daydreaming

So we can't go see Michael at the hospital today, which makes me sad.

Calum & Ashton won't tell me everything, but apparently half- not literally- of Michael's body decided it wanted to just give up, so he's currently being operated on and could be for another few hours.

I think I've been crying for the past four hours, I shut Calum & Ashton out and won't talk to them, no matter how much they beg me to open the door and let them in. I just don't want to talk today.

"Luke, I made you some lunch" Ashton calls through my door.

"I'm not hungry" I call back, trying to hid the fact that I was still crying.

"But you didn't eat breakfast" he says worryingly.

"I'm not hungry" I say again, fiddling with the small razor I was holding in one hand.

"Luke Hemmings, get your arse out here right fucking now and eat" Ashton growls, trying to hide the weakness in his voice.

I remain silent for a few seconds before sighing. I sit the razor back down on the beside table and pull myself out of bed, tugging the sleeves of Michael's Drop Dead Skull Fucked Sweater back down. "Fine" I mumble, opening the door.

"Thank you" Ashton sighs, grabbing my forearm tightly to pull me away, I wince in pain. "Huh?" Ashton mumbles in confusion, narrowing his eyes on my arm for a second before pulling up the sleeve before I have a chance to pull away.

He gasps, dropping my arm, when he sees the fresh cuts running all the way up my forearm. "No, Luke, please no" he mumbles, tears brimming in his eyes as he quickly checks my other arm, it has cuts all up it as well.

Blood was smeared all up both arms because I had only just done it so I hadn't had a chance to clean it up yet, and Michael's sweater was dark coloured so you couldn't notice the blood stains on it.

"Calum, come here!" Ashton cries out as tears start running down his face.

"What?" Calum asks as he runs towards us. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees my arms. "L-Luke" he gasps quietly.

I feel like everything is happening in slow motion; Ashton falls to the ground beside me and sobs into his hands, while Calum races over and pulls me into his arms, repeating what I think is 'I love you so much' over and over again.

Calum guides me over to the couch as he tells Ashton to get something to clean me up.

That's the last thing I remember before zoning out.

When I regain my senses, I realise I am completely awake, not asleep like I thought I must have been, and I'm confused as to what is happening, Ashton is still crying, Calum is fighting back tears, my arms are bandaged up, and I'm sitting on the couch, exactly where Calum had sat me down before.

"What's going on?" I groan, holding my arms out slightly to look at them in confusion.

"You completely zoned out, you were awake but unresponsive" Calum explains, his voice shaking slightly.

"For how long?" I ask in confusion.

"About half an hour" he replies simply.

"We didn't know how to snap you out of it" Ashton sobs. Tears brim in my eyes as a pang of guilt forms in my stomach, knowing this is all my fault that Ashton is upset.

"Well.. I'm back now" I mumble. Ashton just snuggles up to me and cries even harder.

"Don't leave, don't ever leave" Ashton cries against my neck.

'No promises' I want to say, but instead I go with "I won't".

"Hey, there's good news though" Calum says with a weak smile. "Michael got out of surgery early" he says and the smallest sigh of relief escapes me.

"He's gonna be alright" Ashton sniffs. "A-And so are you" he adds, sounding more like he's trying to convince himself more than me that what he is saying is true.

As much as I don't want to cry, or talk, or even feel or breath, I let the tears run down my face, causing my cheeks to look even more red and blotchy than before.

Calum & Ashton just snuggle up to me, just to be there for me, because I think they already know nothing but Michael being awake is going to comfort me.