Apocalypse: A Jacob And Renesmee Love Story [ON HOLD]

part 6

DEVASTATION In the next week we made up for all the time we had missed. And took advantage of the fact that we had our own house back. But Nessie was never quite right, always wondering when her family would be back. I tried everything I could to make her happy, to try and make her laugh. "Jake," "yeah," "Jake, I'm worried." "I know I know, you can give them a call if you want." "no, honey its not that, it's the baby." She said. her voice shaking. "what's the matter?" I asked, trying my hardest not to sound worried. "well, I keep getting these awful stomach cramps, do you think she's okay?" I breathed a sigh of relief. "don't worry honey, people who are pregnant get that all the time," one of the things I remembered from Bella's pregnancy. "are you sure? Don't you think we should give Carlisle a call?" "if you want to, but I think you're okay, does it hurt a lot?" she nodded and she looked as though she would start crying again. I held my arms open and she came and sat on my lap. I held her tight and rocked backwards and forwards. "it's okay, come on." I said. she hunched over on my lap. "Jake, it really hurts," she whimpered. "I know. I know, I don't Suppose Tylenol will work on you will it? I've had an idea." I zipped out of the room and into the kitchen where I boiled the kettle and went to find a hot water bottle. I found one under the bed in one of the many bedrooms in our house. Esme obviously expected us to have about ninety kids. I hadn't set foot in Alice's house of horrors yet. I was living off my sweatpants and t-shirts for the moment. Nessie had gone in there a few days ago and told me to come in and look at the crazy stuff in there. I had refused. I filled the hot water bottle up from the kettle and wrapped and blanket around it. running back to ness. When I came into the living room she was lying on the sofa with her knees tucked under her chin. "Oh Jake, it hurts so much," "here, shove that on it," I said. tucking the bottle between the fronts of her jeans and her stomach." "Mmmm, thanks Jake," "I don't know if it will help," I said. "Ah! Are you sure this is normal?" "I don't know, I don't know if this bad id normal, and Carlisle did say this was a pretty much normal pregnancy," "I'll call him," Nessie said, struggling to her feet. "no, you stay there, I'll do it." I went and got the phone, sitting down on the sofa next to her again. Carlisle answered on the first ring. "Hey doc, its me," "Hello Jacob, is Nessie okay?" "actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, is severe stomach pains normal?" He paused for a moment on the end of the receiver. "how severe?" he asked, I glanced down at Nessie, she was still hunched over in a foetal position with the hot water bottle clenched to her stomach. "pretty bad, I'd say." I said, Carlisle paused again. I wanted to throttle him. To shout 'for gods sake man! Cut it out! just tell me how to look after her or get your cold, stony ass down here!' but instead I waited patiently for him to ask. "how long has she been getting them for?" "um, how long 's it been going on ness?" "Er, about four days?" she forced. "four days?" "okay Jacob, I want you to keep her calm and I'll be there by tomorrow, give her a hot water bottle for her stomach," "done that," "then help her breath slowly." "what! What's wrong with her Jake?" "nothing, nothing, she's fine," she reached up and grabbed my collar. Pulling my face down to the level of hers. "listen," she said, right in my face. "tell, me what is wrong with my baby," "Well, he didn't exactly say. He just said I had too keep you calm," "Keep me calm!" "now Nessie, cut it out! you'll hyperventilate. Just breathe slowly and deeply and calm down, get a good nights sleep and he'll be here tomorrow," "he's coming here! That must mean its something serious!" "Nessie, stop it, you're scaring me," I pulled out of her grip around my collar and picked her up in my arms. "put me down! I can walk!" "Shhhh, you're going to bed, now," I helped her change into something more comfortable, going into the wardrobe of death to hunt out some sweatpants for her. Unsurprisingly, I didn't find any so I just put her in one of my t-shirts, which came down to her knees anyway. "okay Nessie, get some sleep," I got up to go into the living room. "no, Jake, will you stay here with me?" she sounded like she was in so much pain. "Yeah, course. I'm so sorry you're hurting." I climbed into bed next to her and held her into my chest. She was still curled up in a ball. "shhhh, its okay," "ow, but it hurts so much. If you were a girl I would tell you it was like the worst period pain you've ever had. Multiplied by ten. But you cant really sympathise," "no, I cant really," I shrugged, "sorry," "so I guess to you its like the biggest kick in the groin ever, times one hundred." She snickered. "ow, oh my god, I feel awful just thinking about it, I'm so sorry honey," she began to drop off about five minutes later. "Jacob, I'm so worried." She murmured. I wasn't sure if she was awake or asleep. "she'll be fine, and so will you," I said anyway, I was sure there was nothing wrong with stomach cramps. I held her all night like that, I didn't sleep, I just listened to her breathing. *** When Carlisle arrived at about ten o'clock the next morning, it felt as though we had been waiting for days. "okay Nessie, Jacob, wait in here and I'll set up the ultra-sound in the living room. He had told us to wait, sitting at the dining room table. Nessie was sitting opposite me and gripping my hand on the table top. "Jake, I'm sorry," she said quietly. "what? What for," "I lied to you again," I stared at her confused. "huh? What did you do?" "the baby, I, I haven't felt her move for the last two days. I didn't want to tell you because I thought you would be so worried. I thought maybe if I left it for a few days, it would go away. And, and, then with the stomach pains getting worse." I couldn't say anything, I wanted to shout at her, I was so mad that she thought she had to hide anything like that from me, she knew she didn't have to and she still did. I was terrified too, more scared than I had ever been in my whole life. I couldn't think it, I couldn't think the word miscarriage, and could it really happen three and a half months in? I had buried my head yesterday, tried to pretend there was nothing wrong. That Carlisle would come and give her a scan and everything would be alright. Deep down I had known it wasn't, I suddenly felt incredibly guilty. Guilty for even thinking about shouting at Nessie. Guilty for being hypocritical. She obviously had thought that if she told me it would've made the issue seem a lot more real. She was just trying to hide from the pain. "sorry," I whispered, my voice broke and was quavering. "I love you, no matter what happens now," "I love you too," I stood up, still clutching her hand, and went into the kitchen where Carlisle had set up the ultrasound system. There was even a bed/table thing in the middle of the room which Carlisle gestured for Nessie to lie down on. she reluctantly let go of my hand and did as she was told. I followed close behind her and when she was lying down I rested one hand on her shoulder. She pulled the other one down in front of her weaving her fingers between mine tightly. As Carlisle began to rub the jelly all over her stomach, I prayed silently that the baby would be alright, and I could feel Nessie was doing the same. I knew exactly how much she cared about that little person. I knew she thought I didn't care. I did, I cared a lot but I cared more about her. I prayed and prayed it would be okay, trying to kid myself that nothing was wrong. It seemed hours before Carlisle got the little camera thing onto Nessie's stomach. Manoeuvring it around in the gel. It seemed another hour before he let out a sigh, but it wasn't a good sigh. I knew it would mean something bad. *** "I'm so sorry, Nessie, Jacob," he began, my face fell to look at the top of Nessie's head. "there's no heartbeat, I'm truly, truly sorry," Carlisle looked upset himself, well, I guess he would have been waiting four hundred years to become a great grandfather. "I'll give you both a minute." He said, and he glided out of the room. As soon as he was gone I knelt down at the side of the bed to see Nessie. She was looking down and I had to cock my head to one side to see her face. The loss I was feeling was strong. But what she was feeling was something else altogether, like she had lost a part of who she was. I felt like someone had poured bleach inside my head and fried my brain. "Nessie?" I asked quietly, my voice broke twice in the one word. She didn't answer, she just kept looking down, her hands were shaking in mine and her whole body seemed to get colder. I knew she was beyond talking so I stood up and wrapped both my arms around her shoulders. Her whole body was rigid. Carlisle reappeared in the doorway about five minutes later. "its fine," I said, waving him in when he hesitated in the doorway. "her body will reabsorb the foetus. Sometimes this doesn't happen but she is healthy and young. I'm ninety percent sure she will, and in a few months time you two can try again." Carlisle's eyes were deep and sad, full of sincerity. "do you want me to stay? To make sure she is alright?" "no, doc, its okay, you've got to get back to wherever you were, looking after sick people, I'll take care of her," I lifted her off of the table thing and took her into our bedroom. Laying her on the bed. She said nothing, she didn't move, it was like she was dying. "Nessie, please talk to me," I pleaded, staring into her blank face. "gone," was all she said. "g-g-gone," "yes, Nessie, I know this is devastating for you, it is for me too, but we have to keep on living." "gone," she said again. I gave up, pulling her into my arms and rocking her, she fell asleep there. And about half an hour later so did I, when I woke again she was lying across the bed. Her face blotchy and she was talking. It took me a moment to realise she was asleep. "no, no, please!" she was shouting. I sat staring at her, unsure of whether I should wake her up and free her from her nightmare, or let her sleep. "no please, don't take her from me!" she shouted out again and in that second in knew what she was dreaming about. I looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was two in the afternoon. "No! I wont let you!" she screamed and rolled over to face me. her eyes snapped open and she stared at me. "she's dead, isn't she?" she said to me. I stared at her for a moment then I nodded, the tears I was holding back coming then. I had been trying to be strong for Nessie. "she's dead!" she shouted, the end of the words became mortified sobs. "Nessie, we have to keep on living," "I cant, why? Why?" she screamed, so close to my ear that the scream left them ringing. I didn't complain. "you heard what Carlisle said, we can try for another baby in a few months if you want to," "that's not the point!" she screamed again. thumping my chest. I took the blows in silence. Even though I was sure she cracked one of my ribs. I couldn't blame her. I knew she was in agony right now. She leaned her head against my shoulder and sobbed loudly. "she, our baby, never had the chance to live. She never had the chance to see sunlight, to see us! She never had a life! It was taken cruelly and unfairly from her, she might never have been a girl and now we'll never know!" I pursed my lips and held her for another few minutes, trying to take some of the burden of loss onto myself, then I had a brainwave. "Nessie. Calm down, listen," "Jacob black I will not calm down! Just you try and make me!" she thumped against my chest again and I heard another crack. The pain that followed lasted only a few minutes before it was gone and the bone had welded itself back together. Something I wished I could do to Nessie. "Nessie, I know sometimes life is unfair, but if we have another baby, then that's another life given. We can have as many more kids as you like." She didn't look convinced. But she relaxed her grip on me. falling back onto the flattened pillows. she stared blankly at the wall, like she had earlier that day. I thought she needed some time alone so I left and went and sat in the lounge. It was too quiet, I decided something to keep my hands busy was the solution so I put a wash on for the first time since we moved in so the laundry was starting to pile up. unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of job that kept the mind busy as well as the hands. A few hours later I went to check on Nessie, she was still lying in exactly the same position she was in before, silent tears still streaming down her face. I left her like that and that night I slept on the couch. *** when I woke up in the morning I went to check on her straight away. That night I had heard her screaming for 'them not to take her,' and I had run to see if she was okay. She was writhing in her sleep and screaming like someone was torturing her. no matter what I tried I couldn't wake her though. "Nessie," I whispered in her ear when I went into the bedroom. She rolled over to look at me. "I love you," she whispered back. Then she started sobbing again. so I pulled her onto my lap again. she kept repeating between sobs. "I love you, I love you so much," "I know, I know, I love you too," I whispered and I kissed her hair. "don't sleep away from me again, I get nightmares." She cried. "I won't, I promise." "if it wasn't for you, knowing you were there when I woke up. I don't think I would've. I live for you." "shhhh, it's okay, you don't have to prove yourself to me." "I'm not, but I do need to. You are far more than I deserve." She turned to me and pressed her lips to mine feverishly. I pulled back. "No, don't, you're only doing that to make your self feel better." "I need you now Jake," "No, I don't want to do this now ness, not as a cure for depression, you think it'll help but it wont, come on get up," "no, I'm not getting up today." She said. her voice quavered. She was hurt that I had just rejected her. "It's not rejection baby, I just know you wont feel any better for it." "fine, I'll get up," she sniffed in a final sort of way, maybe she was over mourning for our lost child. "we'll have to let my dad know." *** Billy had taken the bad news okay. I didn't expect him to be killing himself about it, but he could have been a little more concerned and less amused. We didn't stay long. I didn't really want to be around my dad when he was so unconcerned about our dilemma. The dilemma that had almost killed Nessie. I forced a smile onto my face and gritted my teeth, making small conversation only because I hadn't seen him for weeks. When we did disappear, I my hands were shaking slightly. Nessie was okay during the day for the few days of half depression that followed, it was the nights that were tough. She would toss and turn in her sleep and shout things incoherent before waking herself screaming. *** "Jake, please, try to get some sleep tonight." "no, I have to watch you, make sure your okay," "I'm fine, your not a machine," I rolled my eyes. "no, I don't need to sleep that much," I said, it was made less convincing because I only just managed to get the sentence out before I broke into a massive yawn. Nessie arched an eyebrow at me. "its worth it though, just to watch you sleep," "why?" she looked at me quizzically, "well firstly, you look incredibly cute when you're asleep." She snorted. "you do," "and?" she pressed. "and you talk, like Bella used to," I chuckled quietly. "oh, god," she groaned, flushing scarlet, "what do I say," "well you mostly scream and shout no, but that's just recently," "that's not so bad, not half as bad as I thought it would be," "but before all of this, you mostly talked about me." "Oh god, this is so embarrassing!" she scowled, flushing deeper red still. "no its not," I began, "that's easy for you to say, you weren't the one who was caught talking in their sleep," she whined. "what did I say about you?" "you said you loved me a lot, and then just my name over and over," she looked away from me, burying her face in the pillows. "hey, its not that bad, I dream about you. Every night. And I'm not embarrassed," "but you don't sleep talk," she objected. "so, y'know, I probably do, you're just asleep when I am usually," "Not always. Sometimes when I cant sleep I just sit in bed and look at you, and think how lucky I am," she heaved a long sigh and looked up at me. "Oh so you watch me as well do you?" I said mockingly. "yeah, you look so young in your sleep." She said, still serious. "come on you, stop playing for time and try to get some sleep," I said. "I'm not tired." She lied, yawning hugely. I snorted, "yeah right, lie down." "You're not the boss of me," she stated. "oh yeah?" "Yeah," "Okay, I'm going to call your dad to come and tell you to go to sleep," "He'll just get mad at you," "Why don't we test that theory?" "Okay! Fine! I'm going to sleep..." She lay down on her side, facing away from me. "He'll just get mad at you," "Why don't we test that theory?" "Okay! Fine! I'm going to sleep..." She lay down on her side, facing away from me. she was silent for a moment. "honey, I know you're still awake," "urgh! Its so annoying always having the contents of my head on full display!" she sat up again, glowering at me. " I also know that you've been thinking about what Carlisle said." "huh?" her gaze dropped to the pillows and I knew she knew what I was talking about, "Yeah you know, about how we can try for another baby in a couple of months. I don't really think that's a good idea," "what? No I-I don't know what you mean," "yeah you do, and I know you want another baby, ness, since when have you been so desperate to be a mom?" "since now, okay? This discussion is over!" she slumped under the sheets. "no its not, you're still thinking about it." I said quietly. "oh fine! Its not over, and yes, I do want to be a mom, is that such a crime?" "Er, no, but its not happening yet." I exhaled heavily. And she was silent for a moment as the tension buzzed between us. "You're happy the baby died aren't you?" she said acidly. Narrowing her eyes at me in horror. "No! no, of course I'm not! I just, I'm just...." I couldn't find the right words. "You are! You really had wanted an abortion all along!" tears began to well up her chocolate eyes and I felt a griping pain and my stomach twisted over and over. "No I wasn't Nessie, I was devastated, probably just as much as you were, its just. If I could turn back the clock I would have never got you pregnant, not now I know what it would've put you through. You can blame me for the baby dying because its my fault is was there in the first place and I'm not letting it happen again," she blinked at me and then sighed. "I guess I see what you're talking about, but it still means I wasn't to have kids," "Yeah, yeah, course we can, just not yet. Maybe wait until we're married- you know what Edwards like- and maybe a few more years after that," I was glad she wasn't going to go off into one of those explosions of emotion and pain she had had so recently. "yeah, but not too long," she added, before sighing deeply and resting her head down on the pillow again. "shh, its okay ness, I'm here." "I know," she nestled the back of her head into my chest and drifted off. that was the first night since the baby died that she didn't have nightma The following day a letter came. "Jacob! It's addressed to you!" Nessie called to me. when I reached her she had already torn neatly along the top and was examining the contents of the little white envelope. "hey, I thought you said it was for me?" "yeah, but I was curious, sorry," she handed me and A4 rectangle of paper and two small orange pieces. I read down the larger paper. "We're going on a Cruise. Apparently." I flipped the orange papers over and realised they were tickets. "does it say who they're from?" "nope, but I'm guessing they're from Esme. She always said shed would pay for bus to go on one some time," "well, that was sweet of her, but when are we going to go?" "It starts in three days." "then I guess then," she sniffed. "hey, what's the problem?" she looked quite peeved about he whole aspect of a cruise actually. "I don't really feel like it," she whimpered, before bursting into floods of tears. "ohmygod! What's the matter?" I couldn't think of anything as to why she would be so unhappy and that made me feel terrible. I was the person who should know her inside out, plus the fact she could show me what she was thinking. Even so, I couldn't tell, a griping pain began to shred at the inside of my stomach. I hugged her into me and she cried silently into my shoulder. "Ness, I need to know what's wrong." "no-no I'm oka-" "no your not, don't try to hide it from me, if you tell me I can make it better." She sniffed twice as she tried to control the tears. "no, Jake, its nothing, its just me being well..." "well what! Come on love, this is agonizing," "its just that still... I ... I ..." "'I' what?" "I still cant get over the baby," she blurted out, followed by another lake of tears. I felt as though I had just been stabbed. And I didn't have anything to say. *** That was when my nightmares started. Every night for weeks. I dreamed the same dream every night and woke myself up in a cold sweat. It started with me alone in a white room, nothing at all, no windows. One small white door. In the dream I open the door and see another room exactly like the one I'm in. the same small door at the far end from me. I cross the room and open that door, which leads into another identical room. This is when I start to panic, I feel as though the smooth white walls are closing in on me. just when I don't think I can take it any longer, I notice something through the couple of doors I have left swinging open. I can see myself. Not like a mirror, but I can see what I did exactly when I was in that room. The me that was in the previous room is crossing towards the open door and I run into the next room, slamming the door behind me and leaning against it. I was in that room quite a while. That gives me at least five minutes to try and think. I can't think. Then I hear a sound. It's a rough, low gurgling sound. Like the sound of someone drowning, someone drowning in their own blood. I run frantically into the next room just as the Jacob black behind me leaps through the door into the previous room. Where is it coming from? I race from room to room in the never ending chain. When I am about twelve doors ahead of the Jacob behind me I stop and lean my head against the wall. I can still hear the sound, louder now. A dark cloud of unease settles over my head as I make sense of it. I shouldn't be trying to find whatever or whoever is making that sound. I should be running from it. I jump back through the door I came through and yell out as I see myself walking towards me. I can't see me. I walk past myself and dart through the other door, seeing myself again. I carry on until I get to the room I was in the first. At least I know there is a beginning. There has to be an end. The gurgling is getting louder now. I have no where to run. I couldn't have if I'd tried, My feet are welded onto the floor. The door is left slightly ajar from when I came in and I see a flash of bronze. Renesmee. I start towards the door. Why does she have to be here in this hell with me? what did she do to deserve this? Why must she suffer all I suffer. I don't get to the door because it is slowly pushed open. I see a hand, so pale, but not like a vampire. Even more pale, it was so white it looked translucent. The gurgling rose up all around me, and I saw the rest of the figure as the door was pushed open suddenly. It wasn't renesmee. It might have been once, but it wasn't any more. Her beautiful bronze hair is matted down to her waist and streaked with red. Blood. She is wearing a plain white gown, hanging down to her ankles above bare feet. It is smeared with red. Her skin more pale than it ever was, her face sunken, vacant, with a hint of sorrow under the surface. Her eyes burning black. She begins to advance toward me. she moves in sudden jerking movements. Hands hanging limply at her sides, her head tipped to the side, in a curious way it looked. I am wrong. I notice she has shallow cuts all over her body, a lot like Jasper. But they're white. As though she has no blood left to shed. This isn't her, it can't be. When she straightens her neck I realise I have to run. It makes an ear-splitting crack. Broken. But broken already. This isn't her, maybe it was once. But there was nothing left of the girl I loved in that body. She gurgles louder and extends a bloody, mangled arm towards me. opening her mouth to reveal a dark, black abyss. I back into the wall, unable for phase. She is inches from me now. . . . . . this is when I woke up the first time. sweating and shaking all over. I clutched my arms tight around Nessie. Making sure she was still her and I fell asleep again. every night from then I woke up just as the door swings open and I see her. I knew it was a dream but I could never wake myself up before I got one haunting glimpse. I sat straight up in bed. Staring at the dark room around me. I felt for Nessie at my side and found only the empty sheets. A scrabbled around frantically and then stood up, seeing stars I fell back down onto the hot mattress. "your such a goof," Nessie said, appearing with a glass of water. I stood up again, and picked her up in a huge hug, spilling the water down both of us. "Jacob! That just proves the point you dumb mutt!" she complained. Wriggling away from me and dapping at her wet top. "the point of what?" I asked. "the point that you're a complete and utter goof," "am not," I protested "you really are," "why were you awake then?" I said, pulling her over to the bed and sitting down on the side that wasn't soaked with my sweat. "I couldn't sleep," she tried to get up to pick up the glass that was lying in a puddle of water on the thick carpet. "leave that ness, its not like its gonna burn a hole in the carpet." "sorry," she sounded on the brink of tears. "what is it?" I pulled her up onto my lap so that she was face to face with me in the darkness, our noses almost touching. She leaned away from me and sighed loudly. "look Jake, I don't know what it is but I've been really stressed out lately. And I feel like I haven't been paying you much attention." She looked down at her hands intertwined with one of mine on her lap. "Baby, its okay, you haven't. if you need time to yourself I don't mind at all! Don't feel bad!" I hugged her head into my chest and stroked her thick hair. "you've noticed it, I can tell." She mumbled into my chest. "no! well, maybe a little. But I don't mind at all! You have however long you need." She looked up at me and blinked twice. "I think," she began "I think its since the baby. But I think I've sorted my head out now. I still love you, as much as I always have. Probably even more, but I don't think I've really been showing it recently." "its fine, its fine, stop worrying yourself about it." I looked at her beautiful face and saw a single tear rolling down her cheek. her soul shatteringly beautiful face was full of sincerity. "stop crying, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive, selfless-," "-Jake, enough with that," she put a finger to my lips. "I could go on," I mumbled around her finger. I kissed it once and she pulled it away, leaning her face right into mine in the dark and kissing me softly on the lips, taking her hands off of her lap and pulling them up around my neck. I kissed her softly again and then deeper. She pulled away. "you okay?" I asked, trying to meet my lips with hers again. she pulled her head away from me. "its hard for me to think straight," she explained and I gave up. "Jake," she said, staring at the silky quilt. "that's me," I said. "were you having a nightmare." She brought me up short, I had almost completely forgotten about my reoccurring dream. "who cares?" I lied because I cared. "me," "maybe, yeah," "because I got up because I couldn't sleep. And I couldn't sleep because you were talking," "Was I? what was I saying?" "you were telling me to keep away from you," "Was I? Why the hell would I be saying that? Oh..." "what is it?" "well, in my dream you are kinda dead, but kinda alive." "Alive, but dead?" she raised an eyebrow at me. "yeah," "like a zombie?" she said and then giggled because it all sounded ridiculous. "er, I guess." My absolutely terrifying dream became comical. There was no way a person like me should find a dream about that idea so scary. I guess the only bit that was scary was the thought of running away from Nessie. "Its stupid. Forget it." I brushed it aside and Nessie moved her face back towards mine. "I've missed you," I moaned. "me too," she said. her voice was husky. "I love you, so so so, so so so much." I mumbled against her neck, pushing her backwards onto the still damp bed. She pulled off of me and looked at me quizzically, "Jake, please don't tell me you wet the bed." "No! I'm a bloke Nessie! I sweat!" I laughed huskily. I began kissing her neck again and she played with my hair. I kissed down to her collarbone and her shoulder, kissing down her arm. I pushed her damp t-shirt up and she pulled it over her head. I moved onto her stomach and her breathing became more and more rapid and uneven. She was wearing a pair of my boxers and I began to nudge at the waistband with my thumbs, stroking her soft skin with my rough fingers. *** she snuggled her head into my chest and I stroked her hair. "you okay?" I asked her. "MmHm, I missed you, so so much," "tell me about it," I kissed her forehead. "you are so beautiful," "mmm, I like being close to you," she snuggled her head deeper into my shoulder. "and I like you being close to me," she seemed so small, suddenly like a was holding her as a child. So breakable, even though she was just as strong as m I flipped the papers over in my hands for the thousandth time while Nessie practically ripped my case open. "it doesn't even say where we're going- ness, what in hells name are you doing?" she spilled the contents onto the wardrobe floor. "Jacob black, you are almost completely useless." she complained at me while she folded the clothes and stacked them in neat little piles inside the case. "are you sure this is all you want to take?" "er, yeah?" I mumbled. Searching the papers for a location again. "Jacob, no matter how many times you look at that sheet of paper. Words aren't gonna magically appear telling us where it is. All we know is that we have to be at port Angeles harbour before five this afternoon." "good memory," "photographic, remember?" "shut up," she zipped the case back up and stood it up. I shoved the papers in the back pocket of my jeans and picked my case up in one hand and hers in the other. She opened the doors for me and I slung them in the boot of my beat up car. Most of the journey we were both silently consumed in our own thoughts. I had one hand on the wheel and one resting on Nessie's leg, her hand balanced on top of it. she was thinking about me, and I was thinking about her thinking about me. I flipped my hand so that it was palm up and I twisted my fingers between hers. When we arrived at port Angeles Nessie finally spoke up. "I wont be a minute," she said and disappeared out of the car and down a narrow side-street. I waited in the car parked in the lot by the harbour. I could hear the coarse squawk of the gulls circling and down on the beach I could hear faint conversations and people ordering food from the beach café. it was an unusually bright day, there was a ring of grey clouds around the horizon but in the middle was a large circle of blue and the sun cast long afternoon shadows across the only sand beach around for miles. I turned my attention to the little white boats bobbing around in the harbour as I thought about where Nessie had gone to. She was safe, I could tell that much, but I wondered where she was all the same. I was watching a man walk down the sand a dog weaving around his feet as he hurled a ball out into the sea for it when Nessie crossed in front of the windscreen. She smiled at me and I smelt the salty sea air when she opened the passenger door and jumped in. she was holding a little brown paper bag. "where d'you go?" "well, I went to this little store that I noticed for the first time a few weeks ago. Its hidden way up a back alley and it sells these beautiful, quirky handmade things and a found these." She opened the bag and I smelt a waft of sandalwood and cinnamon lingering in the air from the store. She pulled out a long chord of woven leather and that coarse wool stuff. it had a tie clasp at the end with two beads. It was flat and maybe a centimetre wide and on it was an embroidered wolf. She pulled another matching one out of the paper bag. "its and eternity bracelet." She said and pulled my hand towards her tying it tight around my wrist. She fastened her own on the opposite one. "aw Nessie that's real sweet of you," I examined the black leather wolf on a brick red setting. "thanky- Ohmigod! We need to go!" she waved her hand at the time on the dashboard it was five to five. I put the key in my pocket and slid out of the car. I opened the boot and pulled out both our cases. Pulled Nessie up onto my shoulders. "what the heck Jake?" she giggled as I started to run through the parking lot to the harbour with a suitcase in each hand and Nessie on my shoulders. People stared and pointed and laughed. I could feel Nessie blushing in embarrassment above me but I just laughed huskily and jumped down the wooden steps into the harbour. I slowed to a jog as I ran along the concrete and to the check in point where I hastily handed over the papers and our passports. Mine said I was twenty six and Nessie's said she was nineteen. the man behind the desk was middle aged and skinny, with pale skin and blonde hair streaked with gray thinning on his forehead. He pushed his thick glasses up his nose as he checked our passports. "ah, Mr. Black and Miss. Cullen, you're going to have to follow me." his lips curled up into a smile and I could feel Nessie worrying. "Yes sir," I said, putting one of the cases down to give a little salute. I was giddy for no apparent reason. I picked it up again and he came out of his little box building and I followed him down the concrete sidewalk. "what's happening?" Nessie leaned down and whispered in my ear. "no idea," I said as loudly and rudely as possible and she hit the back of my head with her palm, almost losing her balance but I could tell she was satisfied with the loud slapping sound, even though I hardly felt it. I noticed a huge yacht at the end of the pier and the man turned off of the concrete onto its wood. Nessie gasped and then giggled. "this is going to be fun," she said. "yep, think of the food." I added and she smacked me again. as we reached the white walk up to the door the man tore a strip off of the paper he was still holding and handed the rest back up to Nessie awkwardly. He kept the orange tickets and handed us a brochure. "have a nice trip," he grinned a lopsided yellow smile at me and then he turned and walked back down the pier. I stepped up the thick white walk and crouched low in order to fit through the doorway. As soon as we were on the other side of the doorway a man with really white teeth and slicked over black hair greeted us he was wearing a black shirt with a collar tucked into black pants and shiny black shoes, he smelled of peppermints. "Friends of the Dr. I presume." He flashed his white teeth at me and winked at Nessie. He sounded like he was talking about Dr. Who. "yes, I am Renesmee Cullen," Nessie said and she cleared her throat awkwardly and I placed the cases down on the thick carpet and slid her off of my shoulders. "and this is my fiancé Jacob Black." he looked me up and down, and he grimaced slightly, quickly hiding it in another pearly smile. "how d'ya do," I shook his hand roughly and he looked as though he might keel over. I smirked and Nessie elbowed me in the ribs. "Jake," she hissed. I snorted. Me and Mr. Poncy Pants weren't going to like each other. Though this yacht was so huge I probably wouldn't have to see him more often than necessary. I knew he was thinking exactly the same thing as me. "He's a fantastic man, Dr. Cullen." He said nervously as I stared hard at him, I earned myself another elbow in the ribs. "you behave yourself or you'll get and elbow lower down, or a knee," she hissed too low for Mr. Poncy Pants to hear. I winked at her and she rolled her eyes. "I'm so sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Mr. Parker. I snorted very loudly and tried to cover it with a cough when Nessie shot me a look that meant she was serious when she said she would knee me in the groin. I tried to look very serious but I kept laughing. Mr. Parker Poncy Pants glared at me. Parker? Seriously? Wasn't that lady Penelope's driver? This was going to be hilarious. "well it sure is nice to meet you Parker," I said with mock sincerity. "Jacob please stop it," Nessie said too quickly for him to hear. "sorry ness, I just had to say it," I said. equally as fast. "Well! If you'd both like to follow me I'll take you to meet the crew then you can both settle in!" he said pretending to be happy. Nessie gave me a warning glare and I winked at her slapping her butt before picking up the cases. Parker tutted under his breath and then told me to leave the cases there. Flashing another false white smile. I dumped them back on the floor and slouched along behind him and Nessie. "I'm not going to show you around because a, it will take me all day and b, you'll probably enjoy it more if you explore yourselves." He started up some oak stairs, god this place was way more like a house than a yacht inside. It was decorated in a similar way to the Cullen's house. I toyed with the eternity band on my wrist as I loped up the stairs behind Nessie and Parker. We reached a floor I supposed was the crews quarters. There was a set of white steps up to a sealed door which I guessed went up onto the deck. He opened one of the white doors that lined the corridor decorated with photographs of various men holding fat silver fish or standing amongst people holding up bottles of beer. It guessed I was about to meet some of there people. Parker held the door open for me and Nessie as we slid inside. It was a well lit room with round porthole windows and a pot plant in the corner of the room. There were two men sitting on a couch that looked as though it had seen better days, there were various chairs that didn't match placed near the sofa surrounding a coffee table that was made out of driftwood from the look of it. adjoining this living room area was a small kitchen in warm cream and red colours. "Boys this is Renesmee Cullen, Dr. Cullen's Daughter?" "Yes," she lied quickly. Unsure of how much theses people knew. "and her, er, fiancé, Jonathon Black," "Mate, its Jacob." I corrected him. "Oh sorry, Jacob black," he said as though it was my fault he got my name wrong. Both men had a dishevelled look about them. Not like Poncy Pants Parker. "I'm Rob," one man said. he was unshaven and wearing a plain white t-shirt with the sleeves screwed up to his shoulders with ripped jeans, no shoes. He seemed like my kind of guy. "Hey," I said. The other man stood up and shook my hand, "chris," he said and he grinned, showing a set of teeth as artificially white as Parker's. Only he seemed a lot more approachable. He was wearing similar clothes as parker too, a black button down shirt but he wore it untucked and the sleeves were undone at the cuff and turned up to his elbows, not done up at the wrists like Parker. "alright," I said and let go of his hand. He sat back down. "smithy's out the back, he's the captain" Added Rob. "Join us for a beer," "er, actually, we'd like to settle in a little first. But nice to meet you," Nessie said politely, knowing if I stayed in that room with parker I might have to kill him. "sure, see you." He said coolly. "so, follow me to your room," parker said impatiently. What was his problem? I took Nessie's hand as we followed him back down the stairs and to what I could only describe as the lobby to get our cases. he picked them both up and almost fell over. "let me take that," I reached to take one but he snatched it out of my grasp. "its quite alright sir," he sneered and I shrugged. Taking Nessie by the waist and following him down a corridor and up a flight of stairs into another corridor. It was like a hotel hallway but instead of numbers on the doors it has signs engraved onto silver plaques that said things like. Billiard room. Or pool. Nice. A pool on a yacht. Parker stopped abruptly in front of a door handed me a key and used another off of his belt to unlock the door. He carried the cases inside and dropped them heavily on the floor looking relieved. "I'll leave you two to it," he said coldly. "Thank you very much parker." Nessie laid on the gratitude. "yeah thanks," mumbled. And, as my hands were still on Nessie's waist, I began to slide one hand down the back of her cropped jeans as parker disappeared, tutting loudly. And mumbling about respect as he shuffled back down the corridor. When he was out of sight Nessie ripped my hand out of her jeans and stomped over to the bed, plonking down on the end. "your unbelievable! Cant you try to be civil for five minutes? Five minutes!" she pulled her knees up under her chin. "aw ness don't be like that, he's a knob," "so are you!" she shouted. I wouldn't have been surprised if parker poncy pants was listening outside the door right now. Actually, I expect he was. I took a seat on the bed next to Nessie. "sorry," I said quietly. She didn't move. "really, really sorry, ness. Please don't be mad." "I'm. Not. Mad." She looked up as she said this and I crushed my lips against hers. She pushed me roughly away from her. "what is with you!" she shouted. "What's with me? what's with Mr. Poncy Pants Parker?" she looked down at he knees and she was trying not to smile. A bubble of laughter escaped her lips. "see? You don't want to be mad at me." she looked up at me pulling my best sorry face. "Jake, being mad at you is like trying to be mad at a newborn puppy, but seriously, poncy pants? How do you think of this crap?" "Gifted," I said, shutting my eyes and nodding. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. when I opened my eyes hers were inches from mine. "try and be more courtly, please," "I cant promise anything." "for me?" she stared deep into my eyes. "don't pull that card ness, please," I said before pulling her into me and kissing her softly. "Be nice." She warned. Standing up. "we have hours until we actually leave. I still don't know were we're going." I realised I had left the brochure in the lobby place. "come on," I went over to her where she was opening her case and wrapped my arms around her waist. "you're still mad." "No I am not," she protested and I spun her round in my arms to face me. "I really can't be bothered to unpack." I whispered, skimming my lips along her jaw. "shall we go look around? It could take us a real long time," she pulled my head back off her jaw by my hair and kissed me once on the lips before wriggling out of my grip. "ok, fine, I guess." She took my hand and pulled me out of the door, leaving it swinging on its hinge. "what we really need is a map," I joked. "I'll say, this place is huge." "lets start by working out where the useful stuff is first. Okay, where's the kitchen?" I said. "Jake! can you not think about your stomach for one minute?" she smacked my side. "lets find the pool," she said. "nah, lets do that later once we get going, I am really quite hungry ness," "hang on," she turned abruptly on her heel and headed back into our room. "Jake, baby, there's room service!" she called to me and I headed back into our room and picked up the phone and dialled the number on the menu. I wasn't too surprised when Parker Poncy Pants answered the Phone. "Hello, yes, what can I get you?" he sounded annoyed. I leaned back against the fluffy pillow on the soft bed. "well, um, I'll have the, actually no, um well," I could hear him tapping his pen at the other end of the line. "I'll have the nachos and a plate of blueberry muffins, and er, baby, what do want?" I made loud kissing noises and she giggled in the background. "um, I don't know, let me see that," I passed her the menu. "A hazelnut latte, and um, I'd like a blueberry muffin but I wont get one of yours so make that two plates," "and a hazelnut latte and another plate of blueberry muffins civ au plait," "okay, It'll be up shortly. Thank-you," he slammed the phone down on the other end. "how rude," I said before pulling Nessie down next to me and nestling her into my arm, "your different today," she said. "I am, in what way?" I asked her. "you seem giddy, happy, not that your not usually happy, but your even happier." "really?" "U-huh," "well guess what?" "what?" "I think, seeing as we are most likely going somewhere hot," "yes," "you should put something a bit more suitable for the weather on," "okay," she bared her teeth at me and got up. opening the case and pulling out several small items of clothing. And disappearing through a door into what I assumed was an ensuite bathroom. I examined the room while I waited for her. it was all cream with embroidery on every available surface. There was a bamboo plant in the far corner. It was so Esme. I noticed something on the bedside table, camera. The kind that automatically prints the picture as soon as you take it. I picked it up and waited for Nessie to open the door. She pulled the door open slowly and as it was almost completely open I took a picture. "hey, look what I-," I started but was cut off when I saw her. she was wearing white denim shorts, short shorts, and a strapless red camisole. There was a halter tied around her neck with beads on the back which I guessed was some kind of swimsuit underneath. She had tied her long hair up in a high ponytail with a band that had a huge white lily on it. in her hand she held a pair of dark brown wedges with gold leather straps. "you like?" she said. giving a little twirl. "I love," I mouthed and snapped another photo. "Alice chose it out for me. I wasn't sure if I would like it but I really like the red," "I love it all," I mouthed. Taking the piece of photo-paper out the bottom of the camera and wafting it around to dry it. thie picture came through seconds later and I saw Nessie smiling and holding the shoes in her hand. I looked back up to see her still standing there. I noticed the top was cut off ever so slightly, showing about and inch of her pale white skin. It almost matched the low cut shorts. She came to sit next to me, dropping her shoes onto the floor. "hey, let me see," she said and I showed her both the pictures. "you look beautiful," I said and kissed her forehead. "your turn," she said. I got up, and not bothering to go into the bathroom I pulled my top and jeans off and found a pair of camo shorts with lots of pockets. I pulled them on. and Nessie snapped a photo with the camera. "nice," she said, I headed back over to the bed. There was a knock on the door, "room service!" Poncy Pants said. "quick, slip those heels on and go answer the door," I whispered and Nessie frowned at me. "no Jake, that's not nice," "go on, that'll be hilarious," I pushed her and she slid them on, tottering over to the door and opening it. "hi, Parker! Thank you so much." I could see her profile and she pouted at him slightly leaning really far forward to pick up the tray and winking at him when she stepped back again. "p-p-Pleasure," he said and shuffled backwards. He watched her bump the door shut with her butt before teetering back tot her bed and placing the tray down. The food smelled delicious, the nachos were hot and covered in melted cheese and tomato. I swallowed them down quickly and Nessie laughed as she sipped at her latte, putting it down to wipe tomato from my mouth I licked it off of her fingers. "you really are disgraceful," she tutted falsely at me and I started on the muffins. "why to I never get treated like that?" I mumbled around a mouthful of muffin. "what?" I swallowed, "like when you answered the door, for me you always play the little girl, who's that sassy, sexy girl who answered the door?" "shut up and eat your muffins," she said and I did. There was another knock at the door. "I'll pet its parker, you answer it," I smacked her butt again as she stood up and tottered over to the door. "hey rob!" she said as she opened it. robs eyes nearly popped out there sockets and I growled low in my throat, he gave me a worried look. "alright mate," he said, putting his hands up. I got up and loped over to the door. "Yeah?" I said, taking Nessie's waist. "I just came to tell you that we're gonna be leaving soon. We're ahead of schedule and I thought you might like to know where your going." He eyed me cautiously. I looked down at my bare feet and his bare feet, and Nessie's feet, elegantly arched into her heels with red painted toes. Her feet were as beautiful as the rest of her. "er, yeah, sorry yeah, where're we going?" I blinked at him and Nessie smiled warmly next to me. he smiled back and my grip around her tiny waist tightened protectively. "well, we're heading south down past California, er round south America." "wow! That's fantastic!" Nessie said, she'd never been far out of the pacific north west. "So we could come close to California within about Five days. The weather will be looking up within forty eight hours," he winked down at Nessie and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Jake, quit it," she mumbled. "hmmm," I said. rob was an alright guy from my first impression of him. I just wished he'd stop looking at my fiancé that way. With parker it was funny because he was so pathetic but Rob was kind of like me. therefore, even though I shouldn't and it was ridiculous, I saw him as competition. I know it was just my instinct, but all the same... "so, I'll... Leave you two to it." he said awkwardly and he swaggered back down the corridor. Looking back over his shoulder once. Nessie pulled the door shut and slapped my cheek. "what is up with you today?" she asked, not expecting an answer. I could see stars from where she had smacked me quite hard. My face was tingling. "I," "what?" she cocked her head to one side and looked into my eyes. "I didn't like the way he was looking at you," I mumbled, looking at our feet. "he looks like the kind of guy who, you know." "know what?" she asked "Jake, look at me, look at me." "who, takes advantage of beautiful young girls. Like you. I'm not doubting he's a nice guy but, he seems kind of...driven by..." "oh, Jacob black." she linked her hands behind my neck. "you are a silly, oversensitive boy," she rubbed her nose against mine. "I love you so much, and I just want to protect you," "I know I know, but you are aware that I could kill him with a simple flick of the wrist." "I know you could, but I just don't think you would. Your too wholesome. You wouldn't want to hurt anyone." I kissed my finger and touched it to her nose. "I could if I wanted to," "I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying that you wouldn't," "shall we find the pool now?" "I like it, I'm intrigued to see what your hiding under that outfit" "oh, just a little something Alice bought for me," she smiled cheekily at me. "you little-" she cut me of by putting a finger to my lips. "I'm going to grab a towel and the camera, and then we are going to go." She kissed me on the lips once and then turned on her heel. Picking up the camera off the bed and collecting two fluffy white towels from the bathroom. "lets go," I said, taking the towels from her, she snapped a picture of me and I poked my tongue out the corner of my mouth. She took out the picture, "Nice one," she said and showed it to me. "Ha," I said and I pulled her out of the door. We made our way down the stairs and through the lobby. There was a map on the wall behind a glass screen. A note was attached. "thought this would be useful, love C and E," there was a purple arrow pointing down to the lobby and it said 'you are here'. "were there," I said, stabbing my finger at the map. "you don't say, and we want to get to there," Nessie pointed to a light blue rectangle that was curved around the back end of the yacht. I turned to face down towards the back, still pointing my finger. We basically had to walk back the way we came and down instead of up. "lets go," I picked Nessie up from behind and pulled her onto my shoulders., ducking low through the doorways. We reached a white door and I opened it, ducking low to fit me and Nessie through it. There was a couple of showers with shiny white tiles like parkers teeth. And a bathroom, there was a couple of expensive looking dark wooden chairs and a heated towel rail. I slid Nessie off my shoulders and she folded the towels over it neatly and pulled off her shorts and top, revealing a brown bikini with loops of wood at the sides of the bottoms and one in the middle of the top, it hugged her curvy body beautifully. I realised I must've been staring at her because she clicked in front of my face. "whhoo-ooh, eyes up here honey," I shook my head quickly and followed her through a door to the pool, she was still wearing her heels. "wow, this is so cool!" she exclaimed. I hadn't even looked because I was a bit preoccupied watching her from behind while she walked. She was just so beautiful. I looked up and saw why she was so excited. The pool was shaped to fit the stern of the yacht, and the back was panels of glass, you could see the far side of Port Angeles. And around the coast was the peninsular that was First Beach in La Push. "its beautiful." Nessie said. "no its not," I objected. "why not?" "because you're here, standing next to you, a Caribbean sunset would look horrible." It was true, Nessie was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I don't know what I had done to deserve to even know such a being but I did, and I loved her. And more surprisingly, she loved me back. The next thing I knew I was in the water. Nessie was standing on the side clutching her stomach and laughing. I looked around and shook the water out my hair like a dog. I noticed a Jacuzzi up a little set of stairs on a kind of podium with a driftwood balcony around it. There were colourful, exotic looking flowers floating around in the pool like little boats too. I grinned at the thought of parker being the one that would have to fish them all out. "aren't you coming in?" I asked Nessie who kicked her shoes off and dive bombed into the pool, I felt the water slapping against my face from the splash she created. She came up next to me laughing. "well this is fun," she leaned right into my face. "only because you're here," I added, closing the distance between our faces and resting my forehead on hers. Just as I was leaning in to kiss her she splashed what felt like a gallon of water in my face, eyes, mouth. She started laughing uncontrollably and I dunked her. She bit my calf under the water and resurfaced. "you cheeky little-," I couldn't finish my sentence because she dunked me. Sometime while we were in the pool the yacht must've left the harbour because when I finally looked up I saw the concrete sidewalk and the wood pier and the little concrete box of a building where that skinny man was. I couldn't see him any more. I could barely see the building. It was getting dark now. I had no idea what the time was. There were lights in the bottom of the pool in different colours, and a waterproof sound system. I figured out how to turn it on and piano music began pouring out of the speakers around the edge of the pool. "this is romantic," Nessie said when I picked her up under the water. She wrapped her legs around my waist and leaned her head against my shoulder and I started slowly circling, I couldn't dance to save my life. "I want to have our honeymoon here," Nessie mumbled against my collarbone. "really? You want to have a honeymoon in a yacht by port Angeles?" "no silly." She swatted at my back. "on this yacht," "maybe if you ask your daddy real nice, he'll buy you one," I pulled her head back so that I could look at her face. "hmmm, I think he's putting on a bit of an act in front of us. I'm not sure he wants us to get married." "oh, I know he doesn't," I said.