The White Canvas Operation

TWENTY-TWO. (Stella P.O.V)

Picture: Antibes by Claude Monet. 1888

'White Canvas Operation' phase twenty-three: travelling south .

Paris-Marseille TGV train.

"Sun, you haven't said one word to me for an hour. What's bugging you?"

My princess stares at me surprised and blinks before lowering her head embarrassed but she remains in silence obstinately forcing me to look at her frowning. Something's going on and I want to know what it is.

"I'm tired..." her answer is ridiculous and she's aware of it judging by the way she averts her eyes.

We arrived quite late last night after saying goodbye to Paula and my friends, the busty French girl made a fuss for a while, begging me to stay in Paris while pouting like a child in a way she thinks it's lovely and infallible to get her catches to her bed. It didn't work with me, it never did actually and our relationship was never serious, so I didn't care to disappoint her... I'm not interested in Paula. Why settle for the court jester when I can have the princess? I would've liked to keep my promise and eat Sunny out all night long but she looked exhausted, I must admit I was tired too after a very exciting day, and I just hugged her and we slept. Our luggage was ready and we arrived to Lyon train station at 9:30 a.m., enough time to have a good breakfast at Prêt à Manger while porters took our suitcases to the train: it's not a gourmet restaurant but sandwiches, the salad we shared, fruit and coffee were of good quality. Our seats are comfortable and the train ride to Marseille takes a bit more than three hours, we got up for a few minutes to order a drink in the bar carriage, and I'm pretty sure she's lying to me since it's impossible for her to be tired.

"Sunny, talk to me... please..." I whisper smiling. Kindness is my boss' weakness, she can't resist it when someone asks things to her with politesse and that's why she's biting her lip and takes a deep breathe before answering.

"You introduced me to Paula as your boss, also to your friends..." I raise my eyebrow confused, that's not the answer I was expecting and I don't understand what she's talking about. "Is that what I am? Is fucking your boss a turn-on for you? You said something like that when we were..." Sun shakes her head and looks through the window again, like the mountain landscape of the south of France is fascinating... well, it's beautiful but not that much. I lean back on my seat frowning while thinking about her words.

"Would you rather I'd introduced you as my lover?" My princess flinches grimacing and stares at me scared.

"No... I don't know... you could've said I was your friend... Actually, I don't know what we are..." She whispers sadly and I believe her suddenly, she seems very tired but psychologically instead of physically, she's been going over our situation in her head nonstop most likely till her brain got exhausted. I take her hand and entwine my fingers with hers, trying to warm them since her skin is cold.

"Listen, Sunny, I don't know what we are either. I strongly believe that our relationship feels forced because of Cassie's will terms that are standing between us. We won't be able to understand what we are till we fulfil our obligation towards her and we're free to take a decision... Everything that has happened these past weeks has been... surreal and very confusing for us both so... I don't know, living the moment is the best we can do, I think. I like to be with you, I enjoy your company and you make me feel... safe, it's been a while since I've felt so comfortable with someone. And I don't know if we can be more than that at this moment."

"I like to be with you too..." She smiles faintly holding my hand tighter and gets relaxed on her seat finally.

'If you only knew, princess...'I think while staring her pretty profile and the amber flashes the sun gets from her hair. 'If you only knew how difficult it was for me introduce you as my boss when I'd rather use another word, but it's too soon, our feelings are too overwhelming and everything is so complicated right now.' I shake my head sadly before taking a look at my watch, the train is about to arrive to Marseille where we have to jump in another train that will takes us to Antibes, the ride will last two hours but the landscape through the windows will be stunning since we'll be able to see the Mediterranean sea all the time. Sunny has closed her eyes and seems about falling asleep like the good girl she is... at least, when she's not in a bed with me. I need to wait... take care of her and help her to free herself from her shackles, touching her and kissing her, deepening this union and establishing new links with her beyond our work and our commitment to Cassie's will... and pray for that to be enough when the time comes to decide if we're going to stay together.