I'll Get Over The Way You Got Over Me

Chapter 10

"Why'd you forgive Louis?" Zayn asks, after the show, when Liam is sweaty and sore and absolutely exhausted, and the very last thing he wants is to deal with Zayn, and the hint of hurt indignation in his voice. Liam keeps his back to him and hopes, stupidly, that maybe he'll just go away. "Liam," Zayn snaps, coming around so he's standing in front of him. He's hurt, Liam can tell; it's all over his face. "Why'd you forgive Louis and not me?"

"Zayn," Liam says, and he can hear the warning in his own voice clear as day, but Zayn doesn't budge an inch. He stays right where he is, all up in Liam's face, eyes wide and hurt and fiery and Liam can't tell if he wants to kiss him or punch him more. It knots up his stomach painfully.

"No," Zayn hisses, eyes narrowing a little. "'s not fair, Liam."

"Fair? Fair?" Liam echoes, and there it is—the anger, the all-consuming rage he's been bottling up all day. "Mate, d'you know what's not fair? Louis never—he was never—but you, you were my best mate, you were supposed to be my—and you left!" He's shouting, now, and he can see Niall, Louis, and Harry crowded together a few feet away, probably ready to jump in if things get too out of hand. Zayn takes a step back, like Liam's hit him. Liam thinks he might, if Zayn doesn't leave. "You left me," he repeats, slow and precise, voice shaking a little bit because his throat is so tight, "and it sucked."

He wants to say more, maybe, but Niall's wrapping an arm around his waist and tugging at him, and Louis is putting a hand on Zayn's shoulder, (and Liam wants to laugh, maybe, but more at the irony than because it hurts, really. It's not like expects, or wants, Louis and Zayn to stop talking at all, over this. He doesn't. It's just sort of funny, innit), back to Liam as he whispers something in Zayn's ear that makes Zayn's face, shocked and sad, close off. Liam doesn't want to know what it is. He lets Niall tug him away, over to harry, and then he lets Harry guide him out of the room.

Niall stays with Louis and Zayn, but Liam's not sure he wants to know what's about to happen between the three of them, so he leans against Harry's side and goes with him to the cars waiting outside.

~

"Are you really never gonna forgive Zayn?" Harry asks, in the car. He sounds more thoughtful than upset, and Liam's glad. He's tired of being upset, or people around him being upset. And that's the whole point of this thing, isn't it.

"'course I am," he says, and watches as Harry frowns, confused. "I'm angry with him now because it's all still—it still hurts. But I'm not gonna be angry forever, I couldn't be. I just can't—I just can't go back to how things were, y'know? I can't be best mates again, I can't—just to be left again. I don't think I can trust him not to do it again, y'know? He didn't mean to hurt me, I know that, I'm not stupid, but he did hurt me. He didn't even do it on purpose, that's what makes it even worse. He just—he just didn't think about me." Harry looks sort of sad, but also very much like he understands, and he thinks of what Louis said—Harold shouted at me about it, once—and he thinks maybe Harry's had a conversation exactly like this, once, only with Louis instead. It makes him kind of sad to think, but also makes something hopeful settle in his chest, because Harry and Louis are alright now, they're still close and they're maybe not inseparable anymore, but they're still the best of mates, and Liam thinks, if they've gone through all this and come out on the other side the way they are, then maybe—maybe him and Zayn can do the same. eventually.

~

There's a sort of tense mood in the bus the next day, but Liam supposes that's not that weird, all things considered. He plays video games with Niall for a bit, and then Louis, (who comes up to them all timid and careful, and doesn't sit down until Liam pulls the pillow taking up the seat next to him into his lap, and Louis drops down next to him with a sigh of relief, takes over from Niall when Niall decides he wants a nap), and Harry joins them sometime in the afternoon, plops down at the end of the sofa and props his feet into Louis' lap, fingers and eyes glued to his phone as he taps away merrily.

It's a little bit weird, still; Louis tenses up awkwardly every time he brushes against Liam's side, like he's afraid Liam might curse him out for it, but it's nice enough, the three of them in casual mostly silence, the tinny sounds of gunfire on the television and the hum of the bus' wheels turning beneath their feet.

And then Zayn walks in, in sweats and a hoodie, and the entire atmosphere in the lounge changes completely. Harry's phone drops down on his chest and he pushes up on his elbows, almost a bit anxious, and Louis curls in on himself, makes himself smaller. Liam thinks it's sort of ridiculous. He's angry with Zayn, yeah; there's no need for everyone to be acting like he's going to shout at Zayn for being on the same bus as him. all he's going to do is ignore Zayn, probably, until he doesn't feel cut open and raw and angry at the thought of him.

Except Zayn says, "Leeyum," in this soft, rough voice, like he's only just stumbled out of bed and coming to see Liam was the first thing on his mind, and Liam closes his eyes against the rush of memories from when that was true. Zayn pushes on, "D'you wanna come read this comic with me? I know you said you finished it already but I didn't, and I thought—"

"Zayn," Liam interrupts, desperately.

"'m not gonna give up," Zayn tells him, stubbornly. "I'm gonna make it up t' you, I swear I am."

Liam's not sure if he wants to shout or cry. He squares his shoulders and ignores Zayn, instead, turns back to the video game. Zayn hovers for a few moments, and then he shuffles away, back where he came from. Harry pushes out of the sofa a few beats after him, follows after him. Liam relaxes his shoulders a little, and shoots Louis in the head with a bazooka. It's surprisingly cathartic.

~