I'll Get Over The Way You Got Over Me

Chapter 4

Their movie's coming out in a few days, and they're doing all these interviews, suddenly, after not really having done very many all year, (there isn't much time when they're on tour, honestly), and it's back to back interviews for three full days, and it's mad, but Liam's sort of loving it, actually. It's a bit monotonous at times, of course, and sometimes it feels like it's dragging on for hours and hours, but it's also sort of—it's a bit refreshing, maybe, to sit down and answer inane questions and have a few laughs with the lads over shared memories and wacky anecdotes.

They're split in two groups, (because, as Paul says when they ask him why, the five of them together for that many interviews in a row is asking for trouble), and Harry and Niall immediately latch onto each other, Louis and Zayn as well, and there's a moment—a painful, terrifying moment, where Liam hasn't a clue which twosome he should go to, and then Zayn's tugging at his sleeve, grinning so wide his eyes are little slits, and Liam stumbles into his side.

And it's nice, actually, to be spending time with them like this. They're not all wrapped up in whatever their little thing is this week, and Liam doesn't feel like he's third-wheeling, and maybe that's why he's enjoying these interviews so much, really. Maybe it's because he feels like—it feels like it did before, like Zayn is still his, the way he was.

But of course, of course he spoke too soon, of course he did, isn't that how it always goes for him, isn't that the story of his fucking life.

It's such a stupid thing, as well. They haven't been asked these questions for ages, people must've finally got tired of them, but apparently this girl and the magazine she came from aren't, and Liam sort of knows, from the moment the words leave her mouth, that this is going to change everything. It's maybe a stupid thing to think, when no one's even answered the question yet, and it's such a rank question anyway, (like Zayn said, once), and it doesn't matter, but Liam—Liam knows it'll change everything.

"So," says the girl, smiling a little crooked, like she knows the question she's about to ask is silly, "if you were to date any one of your bandmates, who would it be and why?"

Louis starts laughing. Zayn joins in a minute later, giggling a little, the way he does when Louis laughs, and Liam wants to laugh, wants to find it as funny as they do, because it should be, it should be another silly little question that doesn't mean shit and is only meant to amuse, (or humor the fans, tease the shippers a bit, because Liam knows all about those, thank you), but his heart is hammering. This is it, he thinks, randomly.

"I'd date Louis," Zayn answers, when the laughter's died down a little. Liam's heart stutters to a halt, and then beats heavy and steady in his chest as Zayn says, "Just 'cos we're always, like, I think he'd be fun to date, yeah. We have a lot of fun together."

No, Liam thinks, sort of angrily, sort of sadly. You're supposed to say you'd date me.

Louis' making a cooing, aww'ing sound on his other side, batting his eyelashes at the camera, hands on his heart. "I'd date Zayn, as well," he says, when he's done, and Zayn reaches across Liam for a fist bump that Louis grants him, easily. "Like he said, yeah, we just have a lot of fun together, I think we'd have a smashing time together."

Liam feels something almost like jealousy rise in his throat, tight and bitter-tasting, because that is not how it goes, that has never been how it went. It's always been Liam and Zayn, Zayn has always picked Liam, and Louis can't just—"Niall," he says, surprising himself a little. He hadn't even realized he was going to answer at all, hadn't considered his answer, really, but he plows on regardless, rolling with it, "He's cute, isn't he, I'd date niall."

He isn't looking at Zayn, but he can feel Zayn's eyes on him, heavy and considering, and there's a part of Liam that thinks, spitefully, did you really think I'd pick you when you didn't pick me, but he doesn't say it, doesn't let it show on his face, because it's petty and stupid, and he doesn't have any sort of claim over Zayn but he just.

He sort of wishes he did, basically.

Which isn't something he's thought much about in the past, because he's always sort of assumed that he—well, that he did, a little, because he and Zayn were LiamandZayn, and he misses that, a lot, all the time. Misses knowing that Zayn liked him best, misses knowing that Zayn would rather spend time with him than anyone else, misses being the answer to questions like who are you closest to in the band or what's the best thing about being in One Direction or who's your best friend in the house. Misses being the center of Zayn's world, even if it's selfish. He's always been sort of selfish when it comes to Zayn.

He misses the way it used to be. He misses being the person everyone always assumed knew exactly where Zayn was at any time of any day. He misses always knowing where Zayn is at any time of any day. He misses him and Zayn, bent together over comic books, shopping together in strange countries, talking along to all the lines of their favorite movies and laughing at the same stupid jokes a million times without ever getting tired of it.

He misses Zayn.

~

Later, he stands off camera when Niall and Harry get asked the same questions, and he watches as Niall looks up at him and winks, cheekily, after they're asked who they'd date in the band, and says, "I'd date Liam, I mean, have you seen the abs on the boy, like," and he feels laughter bubble in his throat, automatic and involuntary.

Harry picks him too, says, "Liam's nice," in this slow, considering voice, like he means so much more than just nice, and Liam feels his heart swell with affection for these two, for their easy smiles and uncomplicated persons, their warmth and love.

As she's leaving, the girl passes Liam and stops, smiling. "I think you were with the wrong boys," she tells him, and she's joking, but Liam feels—well. "The other two both wanted to date you, you would've been less of a third wheel." It's still only a joke but Liam feels it settle in his stomach like a rock, and it's.

It makes him kind of angry, the fact that it's true.

~