10 - The Heart I Once Had

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--- A/N: I do NOT, under any circumstance, support discrimination (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.) so please do not think for one minute I do. I acknowledge my control over the characters but if I chose to make one of them a homophobic ass then so be it. You happen to meet all sorts of idiots in real life, I don’t see why you would be complaining about it on a fictional story. Thanks ;).

PS: Some explicit content down the road.

  

“You ready?”

“I don’t s’ppose we can avoid it, can we?” Christopher chuckled.

Matthew shrugged. God be damned but he missed her. He’d actually gazed at her, completely hypnotised, as she tamed his mane when he’d given up, the dreadful night when he’d behaved horribly to her for no reason and she’d just left. Just like that. She was gone.

“Oh, Christ, KILLIAN I AM TALKING TO YOU.”

He blinked and focused his sight on his cousin. He looked angry. “Sorry, what?”

Christopher let out a sigh. “You know, chances are you will see her again so how about you just worry about the here and now, Kill?”

“And just exactly what made you think this is about Valentina?”

His cousin wide-eyed him. “Oh, so you were on a first name basis with her,” he accused him.

“Actually, no,” Matthew snapped. “We were on the kissing level.”

“JESUS CHRIST! YOU. DID. NOT.”

“Look at you, couldn’t have sounded more like those gays,” Matthew rolled his eyes.

“Oh, so now who’s the homophobic bastard?” Christopher glared at him.

“Just drop it, cousin,” he sighed.

“Killian, this is Claire all over again. You can’t do this to yourself, man.”

“I SAID DROP IT!”

He left the room with a loud bang. Claire? CLAIRE?! Of course it was Claire all over again, right. He’d already endured those pathetic looks for a week again. Valentina wasn’t there, Claire wasn’t there, and he only had one person to blame for that: his father. 

He went into his room, to be welcomed by his reflection on the mirror. His hair was a mess and he didn’t really care. Valentina would care, he thought. She was the kind of perfectionist person who would actually care about his hair. With a sigh, he carefully repeated the steps he’d seen her take to tame his mane. And it worked. She’d be proud.

He looked to the mirror again. He wanted to hear her voice. Just once. Maybe not just once, his inner self complained. Granted, he wanted to be with her again, to see her smile, to see her laugh, even to hear her grumbling about how much she hated the clothes he’d picked for her. Maybe he should grant the Sphira’s IT manager a visit for help. Now more than ever, he begun to see his self-imposed exile from technology was backfiring on him.

He straightened himself. Fine, go through tonight, find her tomorrow, he told himself as he made his way down to the main entrance, where Christopher was already waiting for him.

They didn’t cross one word as they made it to the carriage. Matthew drowned himself on thoughts of Valentina, until his cousin’s voice reached him.

“I’m sorry, Killian.”

They looked at each other and then Matthew’s brain forced him to nod at Christopher and that was it. He couldn’t care less what was on his cousin’s mind right now, not when he was trying damn hard to remember where Valentina’s home was. His mind didn’t seem to know the answer though. And he knew better than to just pop on her door without some kind of explanation. Especially because they were supposed to be strangers to one another.

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