What's Wrong with Everything

Upgrade of the Year

So my vice principle, Mr. Santos, has just been promoted to Boss Ass Bitch of the school. Congrats.

Exciting, right? Let me just list a bit of his actions:

- Calling you to his office to "check how things are going"

- Closing the blinds

- Closing the door

- LOCKING the door

- Flat-out staring at your chest

And I mean, I feel harassed enough how it is, just being in his presence. Just imagine a really angry, slightly overweight golfer and you got good ol' Santos. But honestly, his face gets so red. So so so red. Here's a story time on the day I got his face so red I thought it was face paint.

So, good little Crow I am, had been doing a sexual reproduction poster for seventh grade science. Then, little Crow encountered a problem: what color is sperm? So little Crow went up to the teacher that hated her most in the school, and asked. Well, angry-morbidly-obese teacher did not like the sound of that. So then the walking tub of icecream asked her if she would ask that to Mr. Santos, and little Crow, being the tough bitch she was, said "Bring on the tomato with legs." Waddles in comes Mr. Santos, and then baby Crow asked the question, and his face gets red. Then he asks innocent Crow to go to his office, in which he does the usual lock the door/close the blinds/close the door routine and stares at her for a good minute, face getting redder and redder. "Why would you ask that? To a grown woman?" Good ole' Crow replies, "Well, she wasn't the best choice. She doesn't have kids." Red. Red. Red. Then he says, "Why don't you ask your father?" In which half-orphaned Crow replies "He's dead." Red. "What about your brother?" In which smaller Crow replies "The hormonal 16 year old?" And then Santos had given up, and said "The time will come when you should ask someone that question" and little miss Crow said "Who? A priest?" And his face got so red, she could feel the heat radiating from his chin. She could cook an egg on his forehead. The heat from him could have warmed up a cabin for the winter. And then she got kicked out of his office.

I don't know how I'm gonna segway out of that story so I'm leaving it at that. I'll finish about him tomorrow, and how his life is a living hell whilst I'm at that school.