Remembering Shauqina

Chapter 18: Pain

CHAPTER 18 : Pain

If it was difficult for us to meet before, now it was harder because Zak was no more a Student Leader. It has been almost a month since he was dismissed and he had to face sympathetic smiles from those who regard him as a hero, and snide remarks from those who thought he was a monster fit to be put away for life. That day, however, I literally bumped into Zak as I was going to my class. It was so unexpected, to bump into a person at that railings. My first reaction was to scold him until I looked down and saw his face. Yes, his head was bowed, his tall frame almost crouching, so intensely was his hold on the railings. When I saw his face, all colour drained from mine. His face was contorted in such pain that I could scarcely recognize it as Zak's. His right hand was stuck at his right temple. He did not even respond to the impact. He was almost breathless.

"Zak...are you okay? Is it your asthma?"

I had to remind myself not to touch his arm, my natural and automatic reaction. My maternal instincts went berserk. It was painful to watch him, and I felt as though my heart was being wrung dry. He still did not look up. He did not answer me, still bent. His other arm was clutching the railings so tightly that the knuckles were white. I almost shook him!

"Zak! Answer me, for God's sake!"

By this time, some of his friends had gathered around him; Zainal, Hairul and Sapuan. They came at the opportune time, for Zak suddenly collapsed and fell into the startled arms of Zainal. By now, there was quite a commotion with voices shouting, "call Mr lsmail! call Mr lsmail!" to quite a few frantic screams fromIl-don’t-know which panicky girls when they saw what happened to Zak. He had not fainted, but the pain must have been too great for him to stand on his feet. He still held his right temples. He was whispering something into Zainal's ear, who nodded, turned and fleetingly glanced at me.  I panicked prime time. More of his friends came, and like a scene from underwater, I saw them propping him up. They wanted to carry him, fireman style, but he weakly declined. Mr Ismail came running, 'To the sickbay, quick!" In the end, they helped Zak down the stairs. I felt Zafirah's arm around me, but I held back the tears. It was a very, very brave effort on my part, for I am a teary 'teapot'.  The tears lost and I kept my composure.

"Alright, students!! Show's over - back to class, back to class!"