Poetic Fury (A Collection of Poetry)

Ghosts by nemobliss

Ghosts By Nimmoh Mukuria (http://wattpad.com/nemobliss)

 I was kidding myself to think I would come across such great evil and walk away unscathed. My love for you became my own punishment. How you looked at me and swore that I was the one, how you vowed you'd belong only to me, how you sang, how you went out of your way to make sure that I was happy, how you pretended to fight for our love while secretly bedding your past, how you listened when I poured my heart out to you, how you kissed my tears and in turn cried on my laps as I caressed the back of your head.

 You assured me that you were confused. I believed you, so I un-hung the noose and gave you a little more time. You convinced me to lay the whole of me down and take us up. I did as you asked without a sound. In turn what did you do....? You humiliated me, denied the part of you that might have been growing inside me. You didn’t care if I cried, if I died of grief a thousand deaths. You threw your hands in the air and reminded me that I was aware of the stakes all along. You scorned me, you and your past, you dug a hole in her backyard and asked her to cement your feet in. You then took handcuffs and begged her to lock them behind your back so that you wouldn’t reach for me, so that if I tried to come for you, I would be accused of trespassing.

 Then, I drowned in self-pitying thoughts, in poisoned memories. Every gasp I took of air filled my lungs with your deceit. Instead, I gave up the fight and let darkness envelope me. Your past came, looked down, pointed and laughed triumphantly. She had won. She was now your present. But you were not done with me... you took a break to re-strategize.... then you came to rescue me from drowning. I let you feed me with fresh breath. I needed it. I wanted to dream. So I allowed myself to dream just for a minute. But as soon as my vision cleared and my head quit spinning, I saw you. You were grotesque and it all came back. Cancerous memories all clamoring for space in my head and all the words from your mouth sounded like disjointed noise. The rattle of a coin in a thin rusty tin cup and I knew I was done.

 So I covered my ears and ran, running for my heart, running for dear life. I hid quiet for a while waiting for the wounds to heal before I re-emerged in daylight. The wounds did heal but the scars didn’t. Ugly and unsightly is my soul now, unable to love, unfeeling. The aftermath of our love, and every time I catch a glimpse of my soul, I shiver. I am the beauty that kissed the beast. But my kiss wasn’t enough. I myself turned beastly. We are now alike. Don’t pity me if you don’t pity yourself. Love me if you yourself find the beauty you forsook then find me and fix me...