Fashion My Love. ~ Ziam

Mistakes.

I ruined it. I ruined it all. Zayn won't talk to me, Liam either. Not that they're talking to each other. I had this beautiful man in my life, I loved him deeply and just when I finally got him, I lost him. I was so stupid back then, I still am. Look at me talking as if this happened years ago and I had matured. It was really only just a week ago.

Zayn was one of the few close friends I had, even though we often argued about work. Now he didn't even show up there. For some reason, Harry and Louis are angrier at me than at him. Perhaps it's really my fault we lost our main male model. I don't know what to do, no one can do his job like him, it's not only striking a pose and smiling. It takes charisma and a whole bunch of qualities and he has it all. He's not just there, he is our spokesperson for a reason. The fashion show to present the new collection is in two days and *poof* no Zayn.

And Liam. Oh, my Liam. I'm not even sure that I can call him mine anymore. I was supposed to get him to fall in love with me but instead, I got him to break up.

What makes me feel worse is that not only did I ruin things for Liam and I, but I think I ruined them for him and Zayn too. I'm not the "If I can't have you, no one can." type of person. Of course I'd rather have him but, you don't always get what you want.

...*...

Liam's P.O.V

I took a walk around town today, I didn't feel like sulking in my flat again today. I went to the barber shop to get a haircut 'cause, it's way too awkward when your hair reminds you of the one that keeps on breaking your heart without knowing it. I had it discolored and cut, my locks were now short.

I did my best to ignore them this past week. I would've thought they'd gotten the hint when I kicked them out of my flat screaming like mad. I wanted nothing to do with them, not anymore.

Now, we all know that's a lie but I needed them to believe it. Because, let's face it, I don't love Niall like that. I thought that maybe I could fall in love with him but I really only agreed to going out with him because I wanted to try and forget Zayn. I used him and I had no right to, Niall is a sweet, loving and caring guy. I like him a lot but he deserves someone as amazing as him, that will love him back just as much. He's wonderful and if I hadn't fallen for Zayn, he would be the one owning my heart.

Louis, Harry and him were rushing to the finish as the date of the fashion show came closer, I knew that 'cause of Dani. Zayn won't show up to work and they're scared he won't be there, which leaves me to try and convince him... that can wait another day though.

...*...

Zayn's P.O.V

Yep, he's still ignoring me. I tried everything: calling, texting, sending him flowers, throwing rocks at his window in hopes of him opening it, even waiting for him to leave his house. Does this sound stalkerish? It does, doesn't it. I can't help myself, he's like a drug. I need to see him, I need to hear him, feel him.

Knowing he's avoiding me on purpose hurts me more than he could think. I really shouldn't have gotten mad at Niall or tried to punch him. Twice. Ugh, I guess Liam does hate me. I don't know what came over me, when I saw Niall walking into his room like he owned the place, I got jealous. I know they're dating but Perrie still doesn't have the key to my house. Anyway, doesn't jealousy equal caring?

I picked up my phone checking to see if I had any new messages or calls. Of course I did but none of them were from Liam, only a few from Perrie and work. I'm not going back there until I get Liam to talk to me.

...*...

Liam's P.O.V

"Wait, what?" I ended up eating cake at this new bakery with Danielle. "He hasn't shown up, is not answering his phone and won't answer the door either. We need your help Liam." I dropped my fork on the table. "No. Na-ah. Nooo wayy. I'm not going over there and I'm not talking to him. Besides, I talked to Mr.Styles and Mr.Tomlinson and they gave me a new job. To go and beg Zayn to come back is not in my job description." I just lost my appetite. After this, I am the one that is supposed to go and talk to him? What, do they want me to drop on my knees in front of him and- This is not what you think! Oh, Gosh do you ever think of really inappropriate things during moments when they're even more inappropriate? Blowing Zayn, that's just ewwww- really hot actually.

"Liam? Liam?" I zoned back out of my thoughts to see Dani looking at me with her eyebrows raised, red tinting my cheeks. "I know you think this would be you making the first step but it's not like he hasn't tried to reach out to you! I can't even count all the ways he tried to contact you." I let out an awkward laugh. "... did I tell you that he sent me a letter?" She gasped. "Liam! Drag your bottom over to his house right this instant. He obviously loves you!" I rolled my eyes. "Yeah right, just 'cause he sent me a letter? Ouch!" She slapped the back of my head. "No idiot, because he almost fought with your 'boyfriend', keeps on calling you, sends you cute text messages saying he apologises, camped in front of your door, keeps on calling me to know how you're doing, threw rocks at your window, sent you chocolate, flowers AND a letter!" "I thought you said you weren't counting!"

And that is the reason I'm currently fiddling with my fingers wondering if I should ring the doorbell to his house or not. If I should just tell him why I'm here and leave. Or if I should accept his apology and, maybe tell him I love him. I should probably just grab my bicycle and leave but something keeps me from doing so. Before I even got the chance to press the bell, he was there standing in front of me. Shirtless. He looked at me with wide eyes. "Liam?" I gulped. "Erm, yeah. I um, wanted to... well." I looked at his face to keep myself from staring at his chest. "I-." He had this hopeful look in his eyes and, damn! "Fashion show's in two days, Zayn. They need you to be there and -um..." It looked like I just announced him his turtle was dead.

"AndIForgiveYou." "What?" I sighed and took a deep breath. "And I forgive you. I'm sorry for ignoring you, it's just that I was feeling some things and conflicted emotions and I tried ignoring you so maybe they'd go away. The truth is-" I stopped. Speaking. Moving. Thinking. Processing. Breathing. Existing too, for a second maybe. Perrie had come out, dressed only in her underwear and hugging him from behind. "What's taking so long Zaynie- Oh, Gayne. What are you doing here." I did my best to ignore her but really, I was wishing for her to get mauled by a bear. "Oh. I-, I didn't know you were... busy. See you at work okay?" I said my throat tight. I tried to sound normal but I knew my voice was quivering. I'm just so stupid! Was I really about to confess my feelings to him? Please, he's not interested, he's not even gay.

...*...

Zayn's P.O.V

Was he... about to tell me he loved me? I must be dreaming. This is a nightmare now. "WHY? Why on Earth would you do something like that?!" She scoffed. "People can't know you're gay, it's part of the deal. What, you actually return his feelings? I had to do something so he didn't get his hopes up so, I did. No big deal." No big deal? "Of course. I forgot, you take off your clothes anytime you get the chance. Now get out." I grabbed a shirt from the couch and put it on, running out the door after Liam. Why did he have to be on a damn bicycle? "Liam! Liam, let me explain!" Already he was cycling away from me. I kept on running. "Liam, please! Me and Perrie, it's all fake!!" He must have heard me because he stopped, still a few meters away , his back facing me. I kept on running focused on Liam, unaware of my surroundings. Maybe if I hadn't been so concentrated, I would've seen the car coming.

"Zayn!" Who was that yelling? Whoever they're calling for I hope they're alright because that voice... it was the sound of a soul in pain.

"Zayn..." I could barely see or hear what was going on around me. I just saw his face. The face of an angel, maybe? I think I know him, I do. It was him. "Liam, I think... I love you. I really do."

A/N: Don't kill me yet. Ah, writing feels so good again. My parents and sister are really mad at me, I messed up. Feels good to be back somewhere I feel loved even if it's only the Internet. This is dedicated to the wonderful 1DForeverAlways because she is simply amazing. Without her, I may have gave up on this completely. Sarah, I read that message you sent me more than once. Go check out her story! It's an amazing Larry/Ziam :D. Also, she and I are in the running for best Ziam story in the 1D Bromance Awards, you can vote here: http://www.wattpad.com/7342061-1d-bromance-awards-summer-2012-ziam-stories Love you! :D xx