Untouchable Face {Larry Stylinson AU} (Mature)

Chapter 20

AN: okay i'm terrible and haven't updated in forever. I'm soooo sorry and I hope that this chapter makes up for it kind of? anyway let me know what you think!!!!!! :D 

just a warning: totally unedited xx

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HARRY’S P.O.V.

Monday passes so slowly that I feel as if time has stopped. I don’t pay attention to any of my classes, and my friends are beginning to notice my indifference and disassociation from reality.

“Haz, bro. Are you sleeping or something?” Niall’s voice rings through my head and I have to physically force myself to respond. My mouth feels numb and heavy.

“No, I- I’m just tired,” I flatly state, forcing a yawn soon after. 

“Yeah, okay. I don’t know how long you expect that excuse to work,” Liam adds before taking a bite from his sandwich, “We’re your friends, Harry. You can tell us what’s going on with you.”

Abrielle quickly butts in, laying her head on Niall’s shoulder, “Leave him alone, guys. He told you; he’s just tired.”

Niall turns to face her, draping an arm over her shoulder and speaking matter-of-factly, “You’re in on this, aren’t you? You know exactly what’s going on.”

I quickly interrupt, smacking the side of his head playfully, “I told you I’m tired. If you think she has something to do with that, then you’ve got bigger problems than me.”

Niall turns without falter, “So, you’re admitting that something’s wrong then, yeah?”

I sigh in aggravation and stand abruptly, “I’m going to the library or summat. I’ll see you in Chemistry, Li.”

I throw away my barely-eaten lunch and gather my backpack before exiting the cafeteria and making my way toward the music room instead. I knock on the door once before opening it to find Mr. Malik’s room dark. He has lunch at the same time as us and must have gone to the teacher’s lounge. I turn one of the dimmer lights on and make my way back to the piano, tossing my bag on the floor behind me. I sit at the bench and stretch my arms, cracking my fingers individually. I sit up straight, gently placing my fingers on the middle keys to warm up.

I close my eyes as I begin to do my scales, breathing in and out slowly, focusing on the sound and my breathing. Playing piano has always been therapeutic for me. Every therapy session I’ve ever had, involved me playing a song that described my mood. Right now, though, I can’t play my mood. My mood is contemplative and anxious. It’s sad and excited. It’s completely confusing.

So, instead of playing a song from memory, I let my body do as it pleases and after I complete my warm-up scales, my fingers start a soft, slow melody filled with eerie, deep tones. The melody progresses, keeping the deep notes littered here and there with much higher ones. I smile to myself because it sounds a lot like the differences in mine and Louis’ voices. I fade out the melody controlled by the low notes, and begin a more mature, complicated melody with the higher notes, simply complimented by the low notes. I get carried away easily, completely adoring the sounds mixed together. The highs and the lows, the sophisticated melody and underdeveloped harmony.

I want Louis to be there tomorrow more than almost anything. The only thing I want more is for him to be happy; and if that isn’t with me, then I’ll have to deal with it.

Only that’s a lie. I can’t deal with it and perhaps that’s what makes me so unsuitable for him. Maybe that’s why he needs someone more mature. I’m selfish and young; I can’t put him first if it hurts me, and that’s so self-centered and narcissistic.