The Outcast

10- Confession

I'M DREADING LUNCH so bad.

What will Jordan say? I can't tell him! I can't tell anyone. That's my initial reaction, to keep it all in.

Crying and complaining draws attention. And I don't want to be looked upon as an attention seeker.

I slowly thump my head against the desk in history. When my head starts hurting and I feel stupid, I then start staring at the clock.

I swear that hand hasn't moved in the last ten minutes I've been looking at it... The second hand is going around slowly but steadily. On the other hand though, the minute and the hour hand don't seem to want to budge.

Damn.

"What did they do Cassidy?" my teacher asks

Wait what? What are we studying? I think it was Romans or something...

"Um... They made temples." I answer

Thank you brain for making the answer not about anything to do with Harry Potter.

"Good. Now..." he keeps going

I sigh in relief.

Lets face it. I'm amazing at guessing.

*thank you, thank you.*

Kidding. But still, I should get an Oscar or something. That'd be cool. I could put it on my shelf at home...

"Please go do page sixty nine of your text books everyone! Do sixty nine!" the teacher says

I stifle a laugh. It seems everyone else is immature too. A chuckle ripples through everyone as we grab our books and flip through the pages. Every number he could've said but it had to be sixty nine. Oh well, at least we won't have to do it again.

Oh wow.

Like I said before, immature.

I'm usually pretty mature. I guess I have to be though.

When the bell finally goes for lunch, I quickly grab my books and head outside to my bag. I swing it onto my shoulder and walk hesitantly towards the tree where I said I'd meet Jordan.

What do I tell him? I come up with a few possible scenarios. None of them end particularly great.

Scenario 1:

Jordan: so Cass, what's wrong?

Me: oh you know, my life is falling apart, my friends hate me, I haven't eaten in the last few days, my mum is always at work and my dad is an alcoholic who doesn't even work and my little sister who is just three cries herself to sleep every night because of my dad yelling and smashing things and because my mum is never home. You know, the usual. Oh and I forgot to mention she's my step mother because my original mother died from cancer which triggered my dad drinking.

Jordan: okay... You have a screwed up life...

*Jordan walks away*

-

Scenario 2:

Jordan: hey Cass so, tell me, what's up?

Me: it's nothing Jordan. Just uh... My pet rock died and yeah. I was just sad.

Jordan: geez, if you didn't want to talk to me, just say so. I told you my problems but you can't trust me back? Ouch.

*yet again, Jordan walks away*

See? Nothing I can think of seems right.

Gah!

Well, I'll just go there and tell him the truth. That's all I can do, right?