blossom

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dear l.t...

I realise now that I don't want to send you all these letters, I will keep them to myself. call it therapy, I suppose, it helps me get everything off my chest and shoulders, and clear my mind.

I'd rather not be so open at the moment about my current feelings, I know myself, they are very confusing. therefore, even talking to others wouldn't be so helpful, and only I can make myself feel better for I understand myself best.

I know I can't stay in this constant feeling of loneliness, it makes me feel cold. so, it was today that I decided to first take the steps to clear up my mess.

I cleaned the apartment after weeks, starting from my bedroom, following to the kitchen, and ending with the living room and the bathroom. in all those places, I found recollections of you.

and I decided to place them all into boxes. they are by the door.

but that doesn't necessarily mean I will throw them away, at least not yet, because I know I don't have the will, and I still need to recover my strength for that.

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