| LUCID |

Chapter | Seventeen

Alex

I walked into school with a smile on my face for once, all because of Ethan. I know me feeling something for him is stupid, and I know I will probably get hurt like every other girl, but I can't help it. I walked over to Elena standing near my locker. She was holding a cup of coffee out for me. "Here you go." She chirped. I don't know how she has this much energy all the time. 

"Thank you." I beamed back, trying to match her energy. 

"Wow, I don't know if it's just me, but you seem like you don't hate your life today." She laughed, examining me. 

"It's not just you, I'm slightly less dreadful today," I responded, opening my locker. I'm not sure how after the night I had with Ryan. 

"May I ask why?" She asked curiously, sipping her coffee. 

"No particular reason." I sipped on my coffee also, which tasted spectacular today. 

"Look, I'll grill you about this later, I have to go to Mr. Perry's class to get some work I missed." Elena wasn't even an option last night. She had been out of town. She hugged me bye before walking off. I opened my locker before a voice caught my attention. 

"Any issues this morning?" I turned around to see Ethan standing behind me with his hands on his book bag. I instantly felt a smile trying to pull at my lips. 

"I got lucky, they weren't home." I laughed and looked at his outfit. He's wearing black ripped jeans with a red hoodie. He looks good. 

"I'm glad." He smiled at me. I heard Grayson yell his name, and he turned around. "I'll be back," He spoke impatiently and jogged over to him. 

I began putting a few books in my locker when my eyes caught the photo of my mom and me on my locker. I took a breath before ripping it down. I threw it to the back of my locker. Out of sight, out of mind. At least I wish that's how that worked.I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned. I felt the color drain from my face.

"Ryan you can't be here!" I said trying to push him toward the exit. If Jordyn sees him I'm not sure what will happen, and if Ryan sees him... no. 

"I need to talk to you, Alex." He responded, walking back to my locker. 

"Unless you want to answer my questions then I don't want to talk to you, now seriously go." I ordered. I hate feeling people's glances. It's an everyday thing it feels like. 

I went to walk away but I felt him grab my arm. "You have to understand why I can't tell you." He raised his voice, making people look at us once again. I felt my blood boil at the mention of his bullshit excuses. His eyes were angry too, which made this worse. 

"No, you don't tell me what I have to understand! Did mom walk out of your life less than a day before your birthday? Did she let everyone else know but you, why she did it?" I asked him. I tried keeping my voice down, but I was too emotionally fueled to think straight. "Ryan have you ever cried yourself to sleep because you knew she wasn't going to be there when you woke up?" I whispered back to him. I want him to put himself in my shoes, but he's just as stubborn as I am. 

I felt people around me staring. I'm trying to keep my composure, but the longer I look at him, I'm not sure if I can. "Now please leave," I pleaded. My grip on my coffee cup was tightening. People's attention to me began to subside, thank goodness.