I Am Erica Mena

Chapter 7

"Noooooo, this can't be happening. Why him?"

I'm down in Miami doing a video when I got an very disturbing message. Trigga had gotten shot and died instantly.  Oh my god, I can't believe that this is real...that this even happened.  I suddenly felt alone. My heart is heavy and I can't breathe. The one person that I trusted with everything I had is now gone.  The only person that I loved more than life has left me. I dropped to my knees and just stayed there. My eyes are filled with tears but nothing is falling.  I feel so numb. I have to get back to New York...NOW

*The Funeral*

I'm at Trigga's funeral and I am a mess. Before today, I hadn't been able to eat nor sleep and became very sick. I was battling with myself to believe that this is real.

I snapped out of my own head when I heard Trigga's grandmother Anne talking.

ANNE- Erica, how are you baby?

ME- I'm not to good Ms. Anne. I still can't believe that he's g...one

*Tearing Up*

ANNE- It's ok baby. Come here

Ms. Anne pulled me into HER and just held me with the most sincere hug. I felt safe. I pulled away because I felt like I was being selfish.

ME-  I'm sorry. How are you and your family doing?

ANNE- There's nothing to be sorry for. We all know what you and Trigga meant to each other. But to answer your question, we are managing.  We have our good days and our bad ones.

ME- I feel so bad. Is there anything that I can do?

ANNE- Just pray for us baby. God got us.

*Three weeks later*

I'm sitting in class trying not pay attention to the fact that Trigga is not sitting infront of me.

*Thinking to myself*

"How in the hell am I suppose to get through this?"

Welp, that's it for me. I'm not doing this school shit anymore. I got up and exited stage left. It's not because I don't wanna be there...well, I don't wanna be there because everyday is just a reminder that Trigga is not. I'm already having a hard time dealing with it on my on but being reminded of it at school was a no go.

After me leaving school, I knew that I had to throw myself into my career because I definitely wasn't gonna be out here no diploma and broke. I knew that Trigga wouldn't have been happy about me quiting school but on the other hand, he wouldn't have me give up on what I've been working so hard on.

I'm sitting at home in my room figuring out my next move. My mommy came in and just stood in the doorway.

ME- Hey mommy

MOM- Hey baby. I have something to tell you. Ummm...

ME- Oh lordy. I have a feeling that I'm not gonna like this.

MOM- You're not but I have to tell you. Um, Brian and I are no longer together.

I stared at my mom without saying a word. I can't believe this. Another man has left my life. I know, I know that it may sound selfish seeing how that was my mommy's man but....damn. I got up and started packing up some of my things.

MOM- What are you doing?

ME- Leaving.