you know how i said there was no romance in the desc? well i lied :)
except this is purely shitpost romance so have fun
***
name abbreviations:
sparkling: sp
wind archer: wa
cherry blossom: cb
***
wa: oh boy another day of totally not stalking herb
wa: sits on top of a tree and watched herb plant stuff
wa: damn he's dreamy
sp: *from under the tree* ikr?
wa: *nearly falls off the fucking tree* WHAT THE FU-
sp: BRO SHUT UP-
wa: OKAY I KNOW JEEZ-
sp: *whispers* if you make noise he'll know we're here
wa: *whispers back* yeah ik
sp: anyways, who are you? i'm sparkling
wa: wind archer. legendary
sp: holy shit, herb has a legendary going after him? he must be popular lmao
wa: to be fair he kind of only sees me as a friend
sp: same. i'm trying to get him to like me back but it's not working lmao
wa: maybe he likes someone else idk
sp: wanna find out? let's look around for more herb fans-
cb: hey! what are you guys doing near herb?
sp and wa: wha-
cb: um- i mean- hi
sp: found one
wa: definitely
——
sp: so you're an herb fan too
cb: was it um,,, that obvious
sp and wa: yes
cb: o h
cb: anyways what were you two doing
sp: not spying on herb that's for sure
wa: smelling flowers
cb: mmhhhhhmmmmmm
herb: hey, what's going on?
sp, wa, and cb: wHat-
herb: sorry did i scare you????
sp: nO DUDE YOU'RE FINE
herb: oh,,, i thought that like,,, i did something wrong
cb: ahahahhahaahahha of course you didn't! *sweats*
herb: oh, i haven't seen you before! sparkling, do you know who this girl is?
sp: hm? oh yeah that's cherry blossom
herb: *holds out hand* nice to meet you!
cb: oh- uh- *shakes his hand*
sp and wa: jealous stares
herb: sorry to bother you guys! i'll go back to planting *walks away*
cb: hOLY MOTHER OF JESUS I HELD HIS HAND AJAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJA
sp: yeah but he didn't know you >:(
wa: *sulking in his corner* i never got to touch him before,,,,
cb: i'm one step ahead of you two >:)
sp: HE JUST MET YOU TODAY WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A LONG TIME
cb: yeah but have you ever considered that fact that herb might not be gay? you nibber
sp: >:00000 oFfEnSivE
wa: *suddenly stops sulking* you wanna battle for herb's love? oh it's so on
cb: it's you, me, and piss boy in this battle then
sp: DID YOU JUST CALL ME PISS BOY-
wa: THE WAR BEGINS
to be continued-
YOU ARE READING
cookie run shitpost oneshots/headcanons
Fanfictionno more updates! thanks for reading gang kiwi has finally reached the breaking point and died making this book of bullshit cookie run didn't deserve this (suggestive mentions but no direct nsfw so its fine- also there's swearing) (this is a SHITPOST...
