glitch || [ereri/riren] soulmate au

Error #8

•SAD ENDING•
eren's pov:
things don't always go as we hoped, do they? you see, armin's voice was right. i had to carry on for him, i just had to. i needed to live for armin, and for levi. i couldn't just leave him, when he meant everything to me. i loved levi, i mean, how could i not? we were soulmates.
 
we were soulmates.

i remember that day like it happened just moments ago. i woke up in the hospital bed, but didn't wake him up. i let levi rest, and listened to the voices in my head battle. that time, however, the good voice won. armin always knew how to get through to me, he truly was, and is, an angel. unfortunately, he truly is an angel. him looking down on me and helping my mind comforted me in a strange way. but he was just out of time.

armin told me that it was like he was reaching out to me, but he was just out of reach. like he was less than a fingertip away, that he could almost reach out and help.. he was so close, yet still too far.

after listening to armins voice of reasoning while i sat there on the hospital bed, i decided to wake up levi. i would finally get to see his eyes again, we would be happy.

we would've be happy.

the confusion on my face then, still seems fresh to me. reaching out to shake him, but nothing happening. he didn't wake, didn't stir, didn't move an inch. it was if my hand was swiping at the air. phasing through his body. the look of regret that washed over my face still haunts me til this day; knowing how much i wished i could undo what i did, how i wished i was still there with him.

how i still wish those things.

my hands phased through his body like a hologram, like he wasn't there, like he didn't exist. but when reality sunk in, i knew the circumstances were quite different. he was there, and he was alive. he was breathing and he was peaceful. relief is what i would call the emotion i once felt. knowing he was okay, he was alive. he was safe.

though as my hands reached out to wake him again, they still continued to grab at nothing. it was then i realised that i was like a hologram. i no longer existed. my attempted suicide during class would no longer be classed as attempted.. more of committed.

i wished i could've taken it back, done things differently, you know? i had never before felt pain i was struck with when  he woke up. the look of sadness in his eyes, the distress and despair trapped within those grey orbs. how he closed his eyes, covered his ears, and shook his head as if it was some dream, some nightmare, that he could just shake away. if he were to pinch himself he would wake up, and maybe i would've been there to comfort him.

the loud beeping sound rung through the room and inside every nook of his brain as he sobbed and sobbed. i remember watching as he took my cold, colour-drained hand and gripped it within his own. he then cradled my porcelain face in the palms of his hands and stroked my still cheek with the back of his hand. he ran his fingers through my tangled brown locks as warm tears dripped down and melded with the coolness of my lifeless face. a soft peck of my lips mixed with salty tears. the last kiss. the unreturned kiss. he placed his lips then on my forehead and he stroked my cheek one last time, linking his hands with mine briefly before retreating to the waiting room, clutching straight into his friend, hanji's, arms, sobbing.

over the years i've watched over. levi didn't cope so well, and he didn't leave his house for awhile. the aching in my none-beating heart never ceased as i saw him slowly slip into a downward spiral. months passed and then years, and i watched levi progress, and grow. he got better. he visited me every tuesday and sunday morning, and every thursday night. tuesday mornings, because it was his day off. sunday mornings, because he worked later on. and thursday nights, because he worked til late and visited me afterwards. he never did find love again, and even if he did, he didn't chase it. he socialised with his friends, had a nice job, and he seemed happy. happier than he'd seemed in a long time.

i would do anything to be there with him. to hold his hand, go with him to wherever he lead, to just let him know that i'm with him. he is happier,
and i'm happy that he is, but my heart still hangs heavily in my chest knowing that i can no longer be with him. knowing that i threw this all away.

armin rubbed my arm and smiled at me, something he did every day, so not it had just become routine. every day, and every night, i sit here and watch. i watch over him and love him, as he carries on in a life i could've had, a life he still loves me in.

i smile, a sad smile,

"je t'aime, levi. je serai de nouveau avec toi un jour."