Always | ✓

40. A Letter

Two Years Later...

Sometimes, time passes a lot quicker than we actually notice. There are those days, where you could stare at a clock, wishing for it move at a faster pace. But then, there are the day were you don't glance and so much has gone by.

In these last couple of years, I didn't wait for time to move, I chose to do that myself.

It was about two years ago, when I stepped off the plane with Danny, that I just felt lost and...a little cracked inside. Like a slight chip on a mug. It's not broken and still okay, but it's not as it once was.

When I got home, I didn't even know what to do with myself. I just sat there on my bed, a little numb. It was only when my Dad walked into the room to check up on me, did I finally just cry.

It wasn't a sad, broken-hearted cry. But just, bottled-up feelings that needed to be let out.

That day I was expecting my Dad to ask questions, to figure out what's wrong, since it's not everyday that he'd see me like this. But he didn't. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around me and held me.

I had that moment to be honest with myself and just not be 'okay' for once. I hadn't even realised how tired I was of just keeping it together all the time. It only forced me to break harder.

However, it was a moment I definitely needed, because it helped me make some decisions.

I needed to focus on myself and figure out what I wanted to do.

It took a long while to finally decide that, but I thought what I needed most was a break from the usual.

My Aunt Katrina, had a store in New York. It was a small wedding boutique, but she started it up herself and had kept it going for many years. She was an entrepreneur and I thought it would be great if I could learn something from her. I had to put use to my business degree somehow.

I didn't really know if I wanted to do, but at least it would give me an insight on what running your own business looked like.

Of course, my parents were apprehensive about letting me move away, but luckily I wouldn't be alone.

I only mentioned my plan to move to New York to Sara, as sort of an idea I had at the time. She then decided it was a great plan and wanted to come along as well. It was one of the cities she really wanted to live in.

However, I also knew it was because Danny would be going to medical school not too far from New York and it wouldn't be that bad of a distance. She way too smitten with him to be too far apart.

After a lot of preparations and getting things sorted, we made our big move. It's been two years now, but it still feels like yesterday.

I didn't really want to stay with my Aunt, the main reason being was that she still very much had an active...social life. I didn't want to intrude, nor did I ever want to accidentally overhear or witness something I shouldn't.

Sara and I got our own apartment together. It was a cute space for us, place we added in all the decor over time to make it look better than when we first leased it. Danny also comes to stay with occasional, when he comes to visit.

Last year, Chris also moved out to the city. He worked as a software engineer and lived with his boyfriend, Miguel, a photographer. They were so sweet together and so much fun to hang out with.

I had a deal with my parents, that every so often I would visit home - unless I wanted my mother to appear at my doorstep. It was basically a way of letting them know that I was doing good.