The Breaking The Healing

Midnight.

After that night we didn't meet for about 3 days because he was sick and I was asking about him messaging him making sure he was okay, yet he wasn't doing that at all. He didn't do it once, my insecurities were starting to grow of what was happening, I cried to my best friend of what was happening why it looked like he was running away or avoiding me. Then he gave me the fastest call ever which felt like he just wanted to call so he would be like here I called and you didn't answer. I got mad, like the hell was happening with him. So then I called him and I asked what was happening, he brought his excuses up about it that he's not used to have someone in his life he feels so weird even being around his family and whatever and he doesn't feel okay at all, I said okay and I understood and I went all cool with this.

12:00am.
He messaged me asking me if I am awake, I said yes. Even tho I was literally just about to fall asleep. he called me.
He said: " I felt so bad so I went out for a drive since about 30 minutes."
I said: "That's good I think you needed that and you needed to get out of the mood you were in."
He said: "What's the craziest thing you'd do now?"
I replied with: "I don't know depends." and I was smiling so wide because I knew what he had in mind and I was dying to see him anyway.
He answered: "Count to 20 and I'll be right by your house door so get ready."
I said okay with the happiness was filling my body so bad I immediately got ready and sneaked out and he was there. I got in with him and he immediately pulled me into him and the happiness was all over me again. Then we went for a late night drive till we found a good place and we parked, we got the seats to the back and we just cuddled into each other so tightly.
He said: "I don't wanna get so close to you and lose you, I don't wanna go away from you and lose you."
I said to him he's never going to lose me no matter what happens, he's a huge part of my life and no matter what happens we always found our way back to each other that look where we are right now.
He replied with: "I want your attention and I want you to care about me at the same time I really don't because I am not used to that. I have trust issues and I really don't want to be selfish with you, I don't wanna hurt you, I'm so fucked up."
I told him he's not fucked up and he's never gonna ever be fucked up to me because I am simply in love with this person, so fucking in love even if his complications were getting to me, I felt so complicated because of him I still didn't care I just wanted to be there for him, I wanted to help him and stand by his side through all of this I want him to feel my love to never feel alone to know he have someone that is there for him through all of this. I cared about what he was feeling more than everything in this world, I wanted his happiness back. He got super emotional he was shaking, he didn't like himself getting emotional I told him I will always be here, I gave him the promise.
He just wanted to get up and drive and then so told him if he believes it or not I am never leaving his life even if everyone left him and he's never lonely as long as I am alive. He kissed me so deeply. I kissed him like tomorrow wasn't gonna come, it was an emotional kiss, I loved every single second of it, I never wanted that feeling to end. I felt happy even if I had a lot of questions, a lot of question marks about everything.

it was the best night of my whole life. to this second i wish that night never ended. i would do everything to have that with him again.