My Real Life story in action

Chapter 1- Meeting

"God bless you?" I said softly as I laid a soft kiss upon this man's cheek I smiled at him and let him pass through the church pews so he could go out as I continued to kiss and wish good blessings upon the other members and guests of the church. But inside my heart was stirring up a storm. I guess I should back up a bit and explain.

That man back there is one of the sisters of my church's son, Timothy . Now if you got that, you'll get the rest. I remember being introduced to him years before at a wedding, but I didn't pay him any mind. I of course smiled gratefully, but when I heard he didn't come to church my interests, well there were none. Sister Joyce, had told me how happy she would be if her son would marry me. But I have honestly heard this before from many, many members. All I do is giggle, laugh it off and go about my business praying to God. But after a few years of staying strong for my Jesus and only looking to my Lord, it was getting hard. I was beginning to feel lonely. My friends were either strong in being independent or had their boyfriends already, and there I was alone.

Oh gosh it had been a long time since I yearned to be with a man. My past relationships had done me more harm than good, and added on to my insecurities. I guess its al my fault anyway I went off looking for a man on the interwebs (as I like to call it) and I found men alright. FAKERS. Yeah that's right. But it's alright I'm through with that now. I prayed to God and asked him to send me a man and this time I wanted him to be THE ONE. Yes, of course it was a bold statement but my Lord did say do not be worried or anxious about anything, and that I may present my requests to him and that was my own. I had also promised God that I would stop searching the internet for men and let God choose. Boy, oh boy was that hard. It takes a lot of trust, but my way hasn't worked out for me so I might as well let it all go into my Father's hands. But, enough of me blabbing my testimony.

Sister Joyce's son, Timothy, has a son himself named Tommy. And I have been teaching him at Sunday school before Timothy even started coming to church. Lately I have seen him coming more and more often. I would hear my friends tell me "wow I love his look, he is so handsome." Of course he was the typical tall dark and handsome. Any woman would fall for him, and I automatically thought, he has a son, so that means he must have a girlfriend. Not interested. But as the weeks passed by, my eyes and my strong spirit were getting weaker. I remember I ended up fighting over him with my friend and it was funny because not either one of us had started talking to him, or had even welcomed him. I was too scared. And my stupid anxiety of course would kick in.

But now lets get on with what happened today. After teaching Sunday school I came to sit at the pews near the middle of the church, but it appeared the church was a bit more full than usual and the only seat I landed eyes on was near, yes you guessed it, Timothy. I smiled sweetly and saw that my friend was sitting to the left of him. I was going to try to sit right next to her but to my surprise he scooched in closer to her and I had to sit on the right of him. Great, now I was nervous anxious and didn't even have my friend by my side. Lord have mercy on my soul I thought. I tried not to look at him, I tried to sit up straight It was like I had a nervous tick in my back. Then I leaned over and asked him "Hey do you know if they gave offering already?"

"No, but you can give it to me..." he said softly as he reached over to take my tithe envelope. And for the first time I looked up at him and gulped. My word he was more handsome up close. I giggled nervously and tried to breath. In that small moment I noticed everything about him. the way he was breathing. The way he smelled, the way his hands were shaped. I looked away quickly before it became weird. It's okay you'll be just fine, just breathe I told myself.

From then on I was leaning over him a lot to talk to my friend. I'm sure my chest probably touched his leg, but I stopped caring. I kept in mind that he was probably taken. My feelings didn't matter. However, it was at this moment that started the days and weeks to come. On the Sundays when he did come I made it a point to invite him to fun services the church was holding or even other churches were holding, I would ask about his son, I would tell him it was good to see him. It was nice to get to know someone new. There were a few interesting conversations that we had. That really pushed things forward.

We had begun to be more comfortable with each other, but I felt as though there was still a few walls that needed to be broken. Sadly with me and the way my personality is set up, I'm pretty much a hot mess. When I'm comfortable with people things tend to fall out my mouth without really holding back. I instantly blurted out to the man the following.

"So how old are you?"

 "I am 34." He said immediately.

"What, wow I would have never guessed, you look so young," I responded without any filters. ... How old do you think I look?" curious to see what he would say.

 "I'd say 19 or 20," looking at me through his shades.

"Oh well it's good that you said I was younger than I really am." I giggled and fell off topic, still not reveling my age but being the man he is he made sure to bring me back on topic.

"So how old are you?"

"I'm 25." I responded and smiled. I saw no reaction in his face and I think it was because of those darned sunglasses. I hate them I detest them. He could see everything, and I was constantly blocked.

From then on he was more talkative and even more comfortable with me which was nice seeing that he isn't far off away from my age I suppose. I wasn't yet thinking much of him but I had to admit he was on my mind more. But I kept in mind he might be with someone so calm down.

The next time thing I decided to take a leap and ask was for something that a woman, most likely wouldn't ask for, but the tensions were raising and I wanted to know more about him.

"Give me your number so I can text you." It was hard to ask, I had spent all week preparing myself for it too.  Lord, would it be weird for me to ask for a man's number, in talking to all my friends I was advised that it didn't matter these days. But to my surprise after asking the question he immediately started spitting out numbers and I giggled. I thought there might have been some hesitation or something but there wasn't at all. Win! I thought to myself. But, THIS. RIGHT NOW. This is proving to be a rocky, unpredictable, crazy, emotionally tiring, scary rollercoaster of a ride. That I thought I was ready for but in fact, the ride started without me being safely secured inside. And here we Go!