rain

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sat in her black, white bordered dress, hands down on the table of her small, round kitchen table, beneath the strong light of the large lamp that hung from the ceiling. her hands are clasped between each other, so tightly that possibly even if she tried, her fingers wouldn't separate.

she feels numb. her entire body feels so. her tied hands come up to her lips as she breathes out a trembling sigh, one that shows her strength that is by the seems, crumbling, and having her lose self control of her emotions.

the entire apartment feels so, so unbelievably cold. she's always been living alone in it, only on certain nights would he stay over, but overall, her small, supposed to be warm, home always the same.

hut how come it felt so wintry in it despite it only being spring, with its small showers of rain that would rarely ever transmit some type of coolness?

jennie questions, was it her? she felt so raw.

closing her eyes, tilting her head to one side, the ticking minutes that went away made it harder for her, because time is cruel, it forces her to dawn to the reality she has to face.

she refuses to give in, she refuses to give in, she refuses to give in... I refuse to give in. she is strong, she lies to herself. she lying, but at the same moment, telling a halfhearted truth. she is strong, she is independent, hard headed and strong willed. but at that moment, she was weak.

it is what she thinks, she thinks she is weak by letting the tears roll down her once pink, blushing cheeks, making their escaping from the prison of her eyelids that try as much as they can to make it hard for them to not come out, revealing themselves to the world and the weakness and sadness of kim jennie.

   the recent images that had just carved into her memory started to hit her, not strongly, but like soft, small waves that break in the shore, most likely the ones you'd find yourself fawning or laughing over at their cold sensation, but jennie stood over them with a frown, hands clutching the edges of her dress tightly.

   the blurred cars that drive or race down the street of the small bakery, her cream blonde haired boyfriend is in front of her, hands stuck in his pockets, one of his lazily straightened on the side, he looked aloof in comparison to his girlfriend.

   the sight of such a calm looking boy and an apprehensive girl, sat before each other, an empty plate with small chocolate cake crumbs dirtying the detailed porcelain, their eyes hadn't met once.

   it almost seemed as if they knew.

   jennie was first to speak, how come we're both quiet, and hesitantly raised her head to look at her boyfriend, whose head was still lowered to his lap. is there anything wrong, she asked, trying not to push the questions into him.

   but the feeling was there, it has been there for some time, and she wasn't going to lie that it hurt her, was it hurting him?

   the way he started to talk was so casually, but the girlfriend could tell he seemed to be holding back on something. he was holding back on them.

   jennie, he started, its complicated, isn't it? the latter tried her best not to agree. but unfortunately, it had been complicated. "we... I think we need a break, don't you think?"

   she wanted to disagree so bad to the truth, that they possibly needed more than just a break, and it was inevitable.

   her throat dried entirely, if she spoke, her voice would crack, she would embarrass herself. not even the hot drink she was slowly sipping from had helped in trying to get her voice back.

   almost looking defeated, jennie nods her head, taeyong let's out a sigh, running a hand through his blonde short locks, even he felt a tad bad.

   but what could they do? they shouldn't lie to themselves. this relationship had gone tepid, almost tasteless.

   their eyes met in a hesitant silence, neither looking away, they weren't communicating through their stares, taeyong looking so guilty, and jennie looking suddenly tired.

   taeyong was first to look away as he taps the table briefly before standing up with a huff, "I'll leave first..." he whispers.

   both did not exchange any sort of apologetic affection, their hands hadn't brushed against each other in the slightest, their lips not even close to another, both were so far away, each one of them in their own planets, which were strangely light years away.

   jennie had not known if taeyong left so quickly, she only knew that the bell of the door rang and simply leaving her to drown in the soft music of the bakery shop.

    the girl felt at loss without even knowing why. she can only tell herself it's normal to cry over a breakup. but for a relationship that in the end, they were speaking in foreign tongues to each other, their touches so unfamiliar, cold, taeyong felt like a stranger in the end.

   the rain taps in a serene way over her window, their tears still trying as much as they could not to release themselves. jennie felt pathetic.

    she couldn't do anything. she couldn't do anything but try her best to move on.

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