fire ; trixya ✔️

twelve

Katya put her cigarette out and threw it off the deck.

She was sad. She was more sad than she'd ever been. She was so sad she thought she might burst. She let tears roll down her face as she lit another cigarette. She was mad at Trixie, but she was more mad at herself. She was so, so angry at herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and all she could see was trixie. Her smile, her eyes, how she glowed when Katya made her laugh. She loved her. She truly loved her. She loved her more than anything. She pulled her knees up to her chest and immediately regretted it. She was wearing Trixie's pajama pants, and all she could smell was her perfume. Katya sat and cried on the porch until the sun rose. She went inside purely because she didn't want neighbors to see her crying at the crack of dawn. She sat on the couch and stared at her phone. She didn't have the courage to check if there were any messages, after all, she was only waiting for one name on the screen.

Katya laid back on the couch, following the fan blades with her eyes, trying to stop crying.

When there was a knock on the door, Trixie was still crying. Every fiber in her body wanted it to be Katya. She stood in front of the door, shaking her head. Somewhere deep in her core, she found the strength to turn the knob.

There she was. The woman that she had loved since she first laid eyes on her. The woman who was her best friend. Trixie inhaled as her eyes filled with tears.

"Im sorry baby..." Katya trailed. Trixie didn't let her finish her sentence. Trixie pulled Katya into a hug, standing on her porch as it started to rain. They held eachother as they cried. It was the most relieved Katya had ever felt.

"I love you," Trixie choked out. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated. Katya pulled away from Trixie's hug to hold her face in her hands.

"I love you too. I love you so much," Katya sniffled as she wiped away one of Trixie's tears with her thumb. Trixie sighed into Katya, and pulled her in. She pressed her lips against Katya's, wrapping her arms around her torso. It was the happiest kiss Trixie had ever experienced. She had the only person she needed right in front of her.

It was horrible and beautiful and she couldn't control it. Katya thought if she loved her any more her heart might burst. She fuled the fire in katyas soul. Light of my life, fire in my loins, Katya thought. That's what she is to me.

Katya felt like her heart was going to explode, this time from happiness. She felt the warmth of Trixie's body against hers and she felt at peace. They swayed together, hugging and kissing on the porch as they lost track of time. Trixie pushed one of Katya's curls away from her face and looked deep into her eyes.

"You are my sunshine. My only sunshine." Katya looked up at Trixie smiling through her tears as she listened to her sing.

"You make me happy, when skies are gray," Trixie sang while holding Katya against her.

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you." Katya pulled her closer, tearing up once more.

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

the end.