Runaway ✔

157 • Juice

Cherry was barely gone when someone offered him a shoulder and helped him to get into the hospital. He dropped down on the first chair he passed, trying to catch his breath, ignoring the worried look of the person standing next to him and pretending he didn't understand his Spanish rattling. He took Cherry's phone from his pocket, looked for the phone number of the garage and called. 

He had wanted to do that earlier, but he had been afraid he would freak out after hearing a familiair voice, creating an accident. His brothers had known Sack had been kidnapped. Why the hell had Kozik refused to warn them? If he had known Maddox had laid his hands on Sack, he never would have picked up Cherry. 

"Teller-Morrow," it sounded curtly as the call was taken.

Juice thought to recognize Rat's voice, but he wasn't sure. Actually he had hoped to hear Gemma's voice; she had always been able in calming him down. 

"It's Juice," he said. As soon as he spoke out his name, the tears jumped into his eyes again. Roughly he wiped them away, trying to regain control over his voice. He failed. The tears kept coming, his whole body seemed to freeze. Shivering he stared forward, partially aware of the people jostling around him. 

"Juice?" another voice called. It was Clay's voice that was seeping through the mists in his mind. "What's goin' on?"

"They have her," he whispered. "He has her. Cherry betrayed her. And I – I'm in a hospital with a bullet wound in one leg and a stab wound in the other."

Squeezing his eyes, he tried to focus on the one at the other end of the line, but all he could see was Dana's face. The tears in her eyes, her quivering lips. 

"It's okay."

That was what she had said. She didn't believe he would ever find her. She had rested with her fate so that he could live and he hated himself for not having been able to protect her, for not having been able to give her the trust that he would save her from that asshole. 

He was the worst boyfriend someone could think of, tamed like a sheep. He should have trusted on his intuition when Cherry had called him, but he had given her the benefit of the doubt and now Dana was gone. Handed down to a man who had treated her like a beast in the past; and who would do that again without remorse. 

. . .

On February 19 Juice left the San Francisco International Airport, walking with crutches. The past days he had only slept a couple of hours, just because exhaustion had blacked out his thoughts. 

Four days had passed. 

Four days. 

It felt both longer and shorter at the same time. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel her fingertips gliding through his hair. Every time he did, his heart ached. It felt so real that he was convinced she was with him, but every time he opened his eyes again, he was alone. 

Juice felt his eyes being filled up with tears again as he saw the bikes that were waiting for him at the edge of the parking lot. Clay was the first who hugged him, followed by Kozik and Bobby and the prospects. They were with so few. Disappointment formed a knot in his stomach because Chibs wasn't around. If there was anyone from who he had wanted a fatherly embrace, it was from him. The VP was missing as well, and even though they had probably lots of other things to do, their absence was hurting him. As if he wasn't important at all. As if Dana wasn't important at all. 

There was a dismal silence as he limped to the black van. Now and then someone laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezed and muttered "sorry man", but he had the feeling no one dared to look him in the eye. 

Unwillingly he handed his bag to Phil; he had picked it up from their home before he had taken a cab to the airport. He had put everything in it that reminded him of Dana and it felt like the prospect was slandering her by touching the bag with her things. Still he swallowed his pain, hoisting himself on the passenger seat. 

Phil didn't speak a single word as they drove home. Shreds of a conversation haunted Juice; words they had spoken the first time Dana and he had been in the van. 

"They like to use my hacking skills."

"You're a hacker?" she repeated, clearly surprised. "Didn't expect that."

He smirked "Ya didn't? I don't look that intelligent?"

"You aren't exactly an Einstein." She started to laugh. Her laughter wasn't shrill, but warm and somehow it touched him. "Although he has never seen a computer." She shrugged. "I've never met a hacker. They need to have guts, I suppose. But I still pictured a pale nerdy guy who spend all his time in a small dark room, avoiding sun light."

He smirked. "I'll blame Hollywood."

Jittery, he breathed in, rubbing his face. Oh, how he wished to hear that laugh again. But wherever she was – she wouldn't be laughing. Biting his lip to stop the tears, he stared out of the window. The whole way home, until they stopped in front of the garage. 

He had just climbed out of the van as Kozik walked towards him. "Gotta tell you something."

"Yeah, that's for sure," Juice grumbled. "You should have picked up that fucking phone."

The man looked him briefly in the eye. "Cherry had stolen all our phones. I lost your number."

Juice leaned on his crutches, staring madly at him. 

"Listen. I get that you're pissed – and you're about to get a lot more pissed." Kozik took a deep breath, staring past him. 

Awkwardly, Juice tried to catch his glance. Kozik wasn't the type of guy dancing around the truth. Why didn't he just tell him what was going on? 

"What," he grumbled. 

"At Christmas Eve Maddox attacked us. He –" Kozik rubbed his neck, sighing. "Chibs and Gemma are dead, and Jax is in a coma."

Juice stared at him, motionlessly. What was this for sick kind of joke? "Why the hell wouldn't you have told me that?"

"Come on, Juice. You know why. Dana would have gone straight to Maddox."

His hand clamped around the crutch. He could barely breathe. There were so many feeling storming through his body that he feared to faint. 

Chibs and Gemma were gone. And nobody had told him. 

In the heat of the moment, he raised the crutch and jammed it against Kozik's head. "All of this is your fault, asshole! You hear me?! If you had kept me up to date, like you promised, I would have known something was wrong when Cherry showed up!"

Kozik wavered backwards, raising an arm to ward off another blow. But Juice was exhausted, he slanted to the back until he was leaning with his shoulders against the van. 

"You could have figured out yourself that I would never allow Cherry to go to you!" Kozik burst out. He clenched his fist, but didn't pull out. 

"How?! I trusted you! I trusted you to inform me when things went wrong! But you called us on New Years Eve, wishing us a fucking happy new year! While – while Chibs and Gemma..." 

Those were the last words that slipped his lips before he started to hyperventilate. He gasped for air, without any result, as if someone was squeezing his throat. The skin around his lips started to tingle, the world was spinning around. 

And this time Dana wasn't around. 

This time Dana wasn't around to lay her hands again his cheeks, to give him a loving look, to tell him to follow her breathing.