Chapter 8

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Castle just stared as she walked away. Then his breath came suddenly and his hands moved to his open mouth then down to his chest where she’d placed her hands. When she’d told him she loved him.

Katherine Beckett.

Loved.

Him.

Richard Castle.

I’m sorry, what? A thank you, or a stare where she communicated everything she couldn’t say, maybe a kiss, or even a “Sure, whatever, Castle” he’d expected. But I love you? And everything he’d heard behind it. Rick knew Kate had her own special way with words, their easy swordplay of words over the years were proof enough of that, but when it came to expressing her feelings, that’s where words failed her. Kate always hid herself behind walls, but since meeting her and consequently getting approval to effectively stalk her, Rick had started seeing through those walls to the emotions running underneath. Over the last couple of years he’d developed the skill of watching her micro expressions. If you looked closely enough, Kate Beckett could speak to you without using words. And what she said was marvelous. Kate was smart, sharp, and she felt everything. Rick was convinced that that’s what made her such an amazing cop. And it was only part of what made her so extraordinary. But I love you?

And then suddenly, Rick was smiling. She’d said it. She’d really said it. I love you. Rick had always tried so hard not to listen whenever he read it in her eyes. He knew it had been unintentional, that she wasn’t truly aware of her feelings for him. But she had them, and that’s what gave him the strength to stick around. I love you. Rick shook his head in wonder. Had he heard her right?

Of course he had. She’d told him the only thing she knew would convey everything she’s wanted to say. Kate may not be able to express her feelings, but holy hell, when she did…And she’d known he’d understand. Okay maybe not fully. Rick had stood there watching Kate digest his monologue, taking in every expression that crossed her face. Shock, wonder, appreciation, relief, tenderness, understanding. Then she thought about her mother. He could tell because Kate had searched his eyes, pain and shadow and yearning reflecting back in them. There was something about her mother’s death that Kate had yet to reveal to him. Something that had to do with him. But before Rick had the chance to ask, Kate had whispered the best three words of his life and kissed him.

And my God that kiss! During their wild, life changing love making experience the night before, he and Kate had shared many kisses. And speaking of the sex, Rick let his mind wander just a little bit, when Kate said I had no idea, holy—I just—whew she really meant it. I mean wow. And the kisses. The kisses! The kiss! Rick got his mind back on track, its jumping in revelation and excitement making it hard for him to concentrate. This was turning out to be the best day of his life. But this last kiss had been something entirely different. Kate had wanted him to understand that what she’d said was true, yes, but it was more than that. Like she was returning something, thanking him. But from what? She was the one who’d saved him, not the other way around.

Rick was pacing, his jumbled thoughts running rampant through his mind. He couldn’t remember the last time he couldn’t concentrate on one single thing like this. He heard the jail door creak open beside him and his eyes immediately latched on to her. Taking her in, seeing her face, her eyes, her body, her slightly shaking hands, it brought him back. Kate Beckett managed to earth him once again. Rick instantly closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her.

“Are you okay?” He asked, concern for her and what had gone on behind the door overriding anything else he wanted to say.

She nodded against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his back. “He didn’t talk. I knew he wouldn’t. He just stared at me. And his eyes were empty. Hard. Like he didn’t care, but he was still challenging me.” She sighed then pulled back a little ways, wrapped her arms around his neck, and looked into his eyes. “But you were right. I talked. I thought about everyone I’d put away and I told Lockwood about them. And I promised him I would be back every week until he told me what I wanted to know. I did it.” She leaned up and kissed him again. “Thank you, Rick.”

Rick was speechless. “Why are you thanking me? I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

“And what would you be thanking me for?” she asked as they turned to leave the prison, linking her arm through his. “You’re the one who’s saved my life countless times.”

“But you’ve saved my life, too,” Rick told her, gently pulling her to a stop. He looked hard into her eyes. “In every way. Kate, do you have any idea what you do to me? The things you make me feel? You’ve captivated me since day one. I had to know you. So I created Nikki Heat and made it my mission to discover everything I could about you. Only you wouldn’t let me in. Nothing I did worked. You weren’t like anyone I’d ever seen. So I decided to take a gamble on you and began to let you in. Into the places only Alexis or my mother has ever seen. I hoped that if I showed you mine, you might show me yours.” Rick got the classic eye roll he’d been hoping for, but Kate quickly let the moment pass, silently urging him on with his story. “And slowly but surely it worked. You began to let things slip about yourself. I learned about your mother. And every time you tried to put your walls back up, but something else would make you trust me more. And I found myself wanting that trust more than anything. I found myself wanting you. All of you. Every day. Always.” Rick shook his head. “I don’t even think I was aware of what I’d begun to feel. I was too caught up in you and what we did together. But then suddenly you were with Demming and I really hated that. So I ran to the Hamptons. I don’t even know why I brought Gina along. It was such a mistake, especially when all I could think about was you.” He brushed his fingers down her face. “Your face was everywhere in the Hamptons. I couldn’t get you to leave. And when I discovered that somewhere along the way I’d fallen in love with you—“ But Rick couldn’t finish. Kate’s lips were on his, pulling him into an intense, heart pounding kiss. Passion and fire mixing together, threatening to overwhelm their senses.

“You’ve changed me, Kate. Before I knew you I don’t know what the hell I was doing, but it sure wasn’t living. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes,” Rick whispered against her lips.

“Then it’s a pain we can both share,” she murmured before pulling him back in, a kiss gentle and sure, but still burning. A flame they nourished but kept from blazing into an inferno. That would come later.

“Say it again,” Kate asked as they finally walked hand in hand to her car.

“As you wish,” he replied. “Katherine Beckett, I love you.” He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. She couldn’t either.

“Good. Because I love you, too.”

“God only knows why.”

“Preachin’ to the choir there, Writer Boy.”

“That’s Writer Man to you,” he shot back with a smile. “And speaking of work,” he began.

“We were talking about work?”

“Funny. You’re a funny woman. So,” he continued, “I was thinking about how we should handle this at work.”

“You were?” She asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. “I thought I would be the one to lay down the ground rules.”

“Like I’m going to be the one who has a hard time resisting touching all this amazingness,” Rick said. And then he heard how it sounded.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.”

“Thank you. But that’s not where my mind went.”

“Sure it wasn’t, Rick.”

“Well that’s not where my mind went there either. Anyway, I was thinking we could play a little game with the boys back at the precinct. They’ve been taking bets on us for so long, I don’t really feel inclined to give the winner his money. Besides—“

“We wouldn’t be us if we didn’t mess with them a bit,” Kate finished for him, mischief sparkling in her eyes. “Alright, Mr. Castle, what do you propose.”

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