The Eighth Time

Chapter 6 : Shameless

THE EIGHTH TIME

Chapter 6

Shameless

“The elephant says to the camel ‘Why do you have two boobs on your back?’ The camel replies ‘That’s a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face’.” Liesel told me, her mouth full of pasta. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

            “That one was worse than the last one,” I groaned and bended my head over my food. How I had managed to get into this situation was beyond me.

            Hi, my name is Keegan Bundy and I get so easily screwed, but not the good screwed and that sucks, and again, that’s not the good suck.

            Liesel snorted and stuffed her face more. The guys were all staring at her open mouthed, probably still not believing that a girl was actually sitting at our table. “How can any joke be worse than ‘What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work’?”

            I took a sip from my juice box and shrugged. “Well, your ‘What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks? Dino-mite,’ was pretty bad too, to be honest.”

            “That’s only because you have no sense of humour, Bundy,” she said in a mocking tone and threw her wrapped-in-plastic buns at me, and a muffin. Unlike my pitiful self who was again facing a lunch of soup and juice box, Liesel’s tray was filled with more food then her skinny self could possibly eat. I didn’t thank her for the food because I didn’t want to look more pathetic than I was, but I welcomed it.

            Liesel hadn’t left me alone since homeroom. She was in almost all my classes and had made a big case of following me around, like my own damn annoying shadow. And she was trying to make me laugh so apparently lunch time had turned into lame joke time. I still didn’t understand why I hadn’t kicked the girl away. Maybe it was just because she had boobies. And nice legs. But she was also insanely annoying so boobies and legs really shouldn’t make that much of a difference in the balance. And if I wasn’t of the external genitalia gender that would so be true, but sadly it wasn’t.

            “You know, I almost didn’t recognize you, not wearing black and actually showing your face,” Derek said, interrupting Liesel loud eating.

            “Oh that?” She shrugged, ate some chocolate pudding and then continued speaking. “Yeah, I like to change styles. It makes things exciting. Also, it’s fun to know that some boys that mocked me yesterday tried to grope me today. It boosts my self esteem and lowers theirs.” She grinned at the end. I seriously feared for the person who tried to cross her one day.

            So, she was freaky emo wanna be girl? That was an interesting outcome.

            Well, I understood now why she sat with us. Anywhere was better than beside the toilet! Also, I realized that this meant Derek had dibbs on here. It was obvious, just by the way he was looking at her that the whole ‘Dibbs on her if she’s hot’ applied now. And she kind of fitted the description he had given of her—when he had said she was probably crazy, I meant.

            “Something’s been bothering me all morning long,” Liesel trailed, dropping everything in her tray, wiping her hands on her legs. I almost stared at them again, but thought better of it.