To You I Pledge (BBC Merlin)

Chapter 19 - New Bonds

Usually there was always something about a situation between them that let Merlin stamp his own brand of rebellion on it, but not in this and he found that it was because he didn't want to. He wanted Arthur to explore, to find out everything; anything less was unacceptable.

"I want to touch you," was all he could come up with to say, because he did; he wanted to do his own investigation.

At that Arthur's smile increased, but it was interested, not amused.

"Later," Arthur told him and dragged him away from the wall into a close embrace; "I claim privilege of rank. You can do your own exploration later, Merlin, that I promise."

That was good enough for Merlin and he made no resistance as Arthur took him to the bed. Arthur threw aside the top covers and then lowered him down onto the sheets before climbing on and proceeding to blow his mind.

It was difficult to explain, even in his own mind; he had always thought of sex as physical no matter what romantic notions women spouted about it. Love happened and sex was a part of that, but he had always thought of it as a happy consequence, a physical pleasure that would be fun, but at that moment he realised how wrong he had been. He felt the physical pleasure alright, but there was something else about the act, something that made his blood burn and his magic sing, and it was more spiritual than physical. That it was Arthur touching him affected him far more than the mere physicality of it all. It was the ultimate surrender and he began to tremble at the enormity of it all.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked, clearly having trouble maintaining his own control.

Merlin nodded.

"I love you," his mind said, but he could not speak, all he could do was gaze up in wonder.

Arthur continued to make love to him. Physical pleasure combined with the magic in Merlin's body, taking him higher and higher and he really felt like he would explode. He didn't know how long this was supposed to take before they both came apart, but when Arthur bent down and placed a kiss on the mark over his heart it was irrelevant.

It was as if Arthur had completed a circle of power and Merlin arched up, crying out loudly as his magic exploded through him. His body reacted by reaching for the zenith it had been chasing and waves of pleasure broke over him. Reality undid in that moment for Merlin, undid and then reconfigured around him and Arthur, as if, for that instant, they were the centre of everything. The focus of time and existence was on them and nothing else as if the eye of the universe was looking at only their union.

It made the physical irrelevant and the forces moving through Merlin seem like power beyond imagining, but it could not last. When Arthur finally moved, collapsing to the side, the moment ended and what was real reasserted itself.

Merlin found himself sprawled on the bed. He ached in places he had never thought to ache and the odd random muscle in his body was jumping from time to time as if just to make him notice it. He felt spent and sated and lethargic and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to move again.

"What did you do?" Arthur sounded as dazed as Merlin felt.

"No idea," Merlin replied after a few moments of deciding which order to put the words in.

"That was ... umm," Arthur seemed to be having a little trouble with words as well, which was a blessing at least.

"M'know," Merlin agreed and made a clumsy grab for the covers that had been thrown out of the way.

Before they'd started, he'd had a vague plan of reciprocating at some point, but the idea of any time soon had fled him, and given how still Arthur was lying beside him, he thought Arthur was probably on the same page. Pulling at the covers he did his best to cover them both.

"Sleep now," he said as the lethargy began to creep into his brain as well, "talk later."

Arthur didn't usually agree to anything without saying at least something, but it seemed Arthur was in total agreement because all Arthur did was help pull the covers the final distance and then move closer to Merlin. They would have things to talk about, but words didn't really matter, not with what Merlin knew in his heart and he was pretty sure he fell asleep with a dopey smile on his face.

~*~

A/N: This chapter has been heavily edited from the original to make it PG13 - if you would like to read the mature version, please visit To You I Pledge - Mature Scenes - thank you.