Ambition || Harry Styles

*41*

"Lexi, your dad offered me a job."

Inhale, 1-2-3-4. Exhale, 5-6-7-8.

It takes me a second to process that I'm not trapped inside of some sort of lucid dream, or perhaps a nightmare, and when I see Harry's weary face looking back at me all I can do is throw my head back and laugh.

It's a hostile laugh that begs the universe to explain why the fuck it has to mess with my head to the point of me nearly losing it.

"I thought he would have told you," he repeats sheepishly, trying to comprehend my strange reaction but the truth is, this is one of the steps I've had to take when dealing with my medical issues.

I've been making a conscious effort not to let the little things, or big, get to me too much and especially those I have no power to control.

I can't control, Harry, never have and never will, and I certainly have no power over my father, that is something over the past year I have completely given up trying to achieve.

"It's fine, Harry," I say with a forced, condescending smile. "Sounds like a great opportunity to work with your idol," I can't help the slightly sarcastic tone of my voice.

Harry looks like he is going to say something but stops himself, instead taking his jacket off and rolling up his sleeves, as if the fidgeting with his hands may help distract him long enough to gather his thoughts.

He calmly rubs his fingers through his hair and looks up to stare at me for too long, his green eyes brooding and attempting to talk to my soul but unfortunately, it's no longer accepting bullshit.

"It's not forever, just a contract role," Harry tries to reason. "Mr Patterson mentioned something about you guys starting a new project, bigger than any you've done in the past?"

"Really?" I scoff. "I wouldn't know, I'm not really that involved in the company anymore."

Harry's brow creases, trying to read my blank expression at the same time I try and let go of any unwarranted emotion that is bubbling up in my gut.

"A lot has changed over the last year, Harry," I snap, standing abruptly. "I guess you will have to catch up on everything considering you weren't here." My last two words spit like venom from my tongue, my feelings still bruised and the deep wounds still open and festering despite so much time having past.

Deciding I've had enough I throw some money on the table to pay for the lunch that hasn't even arrived yet.

Part of me doesn't give a fuck if Harry works for the company, I'm so detached from Patterson & Sons now that I couldn't care less and that is something I have just accepted in defeat over the past year.

The devastating realisation is that Harry was clearly after a job and a career opportunity all along, his ambition trumping our friendship every time.

Adding to this sucker punch to the stomach, is the sting of Harry disappearing to another country and then returning like nothing has happened, expecting me to be fine as if he wasn't aware of the depth of my feelings for him, which I know he was.

The fact he made me believe he felt them too is what really makes my blood boil.

The major missing piece of the complicated puzzle that is Harry, is if he was using me to get to my dad, why leave the minute we were close enough?

"Alexa!" I hear him shout after me as I storm down the street away from him.

I tear into the lobby of the office building, through the doors and past the guards, my finger pushing over and over unnecessarily into the elevator call button as if it might come quicker the more I try.

I can hear Harry's footsteps running after me into the building and I pile into the empty lift as soon as it reaches me, holding down the button to close the doors before he gets to it, but I'm too late.

Long fingers stop the metal doors in their tracks and Harry's tall frame slips past, his body moving closer and closer until he is towering over me.

My face displays my fury, hot tears threatening to spill down my cheeks and show him exactly how upset I really am.

I jump a little in shock when suddenly, my ears are bombarded with a piercing alarm, Harry's palm slamming into the red emergency stop button and caused the lift to jolt to a dramatic halt.

He drops his discarded suit jacket on the floor to free up his hands before hoisting me against a wall by the back of my thighs, my legs wrapping around his waist instinctively and his presence not giving me space to move.

My breath escapes my lungs in a huff as my back thuds against the wall, everything moving too quickly for me to process.

Harry leans in and just when I turn my head to avoid the kiss I think is coming, he surprises me grabbing my jaw and whispering harshly in my ear, just enough for me to hear despite the almost deafening siren thumping through the carriage.

"Lexi, listen to me! I never wanted to leave you behind, alright! I had to go!" he rushes and my heart is beating so hard I can feel it in my throat. "You remember when I came to your house after I went to New York last time don't you? Remember how fucked up I was?" 

I nod a little, my face in his hands, too nervous and overwhelmed to speak, the scent of his cologne circling my nostrils and his touch making me dizzy.

His breath is warm yet severe on my ear as he continues to shout in a hushed voice. "I told you then, I am in too fucking deep and I can't explain it to you, not yet. My choices are limited but I would choose to leave again and again and again if it meant it kept you out of harm's way. Do you hear me?"

A tear escapes and drops past my lashes, his face pained at the sight but he stays close, his hand weaving into my hair to join our foreheads before his lips return to my ear so that I can hear him over the noise blasting through the tiny space.

"The last thing in the world I wanted to do was hurt you, or..." he stops to swallow the emotion building in his throat. "Or not be there for you when you needed me. But I had to decide," he says in a crackling whisper and without further explanation. "And you know what? You might fucking hate me even more than you do now after all is said and done, but I did what I had to. For you. And I don't regret it."

I'm breathless as he drops my feet to the floor, my back leaning against the wall for support as my knees almost fail me, my head spinning and the noise unbearable as I wipe my tears with my trembling fingers.

Harry turns on his heels and pounds his fist into the emergency button again, the siren finally silencing.

My ears are still ringing and maybe it's playing with all of my senses but as he turns back around I grab his collar and pull him back into me, my lips kissing him hard as the lift resumes its ascent towards our office floor.

It takes half a beat for Harry to react, his wandering hands frantically on my cheeks and in my hair, fingers digging into my waist as he kisses me back with fervour.

Our tongues find each other and I grip the back of his neck to deepen the kiss before he pushes back with a sharp exhale of shock and maybe a little relief, his eyes dancing from side to side as they search mine and our panting clashes in the tiny gap between our mouths.

The ding from the lift snaps our attention away and just before the doors slide open, Harry is scooping his jacket up off the floor and stepping out ahead of me into the offices of Patterson & Sons.

I'm filing out quickly behind him, not sure what the fuck just came over either of us but I notice his tongue darting out to lick his perfect pink lips before he almost runs straight into my father.

A/N:

Now's a good time to tell you we are almost at the end :(

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