Ambition || Harry Styles

*13*

I'm a creature of habit.  There is no denying it. 

Every Saturday I do the same thing that I've done for as long as I can remember, and I don't think there is anything wrong with having a little order and routine in your life.

At around 8am, I get out of bed, treating myself to a lay-in of a few hours compared to my usual 6am wake up. I make some breakfast, usually toast or some muesli if I have milk in the fridge, which is barely ever.  If it's a nice morning I sit out on the balcony and take a moment to myself, smoking a cigarette and drinking an espresso.

I always clean the apartment from top to bottom every Saturday, despite the fact I have a cleaning lady that comes during the week.  I like things clean and organised, everything in my home has a place.  

My apartment, on the second top floor, is big, excessive maybe, for just one person but when I saw the designs, I immediately fell in love.  The three bedrooms are large and all with their own bathrooms, a huge entertainers kitchen looks over an open plan dining area and lounge, even though no one except Katie, my ex, Adam and my cleaning lady, Heather have been here in three years.  The parquet floors are a rich, deep brown and the white marble and gold accents around the home make me feel like I'm in my own private, luxury hotel.

Money wasn't an issue, I earn a lot, given it's the only way my father is able to acknowledge the work I do and I feel that every penny is justified given how many hours I give that place.  So, when I came into the office with a payment for the top floor I was pretty upset to be told it wasn't available... to me. 

'Pretty upset' is probably a drastic understatement. Hurt, devastated, confused, frustrated, disappointed, discouraged, all fit the emotions that were mixed with seething anger at the time of the decision that I believed was completely unfair.

I convinced myself shortly after, that I didn't need the top floor. Except for a bigger wrap around balcony, it was just as good as the one below it, and I should be grateful that I'm in a position to buy my dream home regardless of the level.

After I finish cleaning, I have a long, hot shower, my favourite thing to do, before getting dressed and ready to head into the office, where I usually spend the afternoon.

I get that some people would think this is a pretty sad excuse for a weekend, but I don't mind it.  I like having a purpose and I enjoy working.  I want to get ahead, prove myself, and I know that takes dedication and sacrifice. To me, it's worth giving up my weekends for.

"I'm proud of you for putting yourself out there," Katie says down the phone as I throw out my pre-packaged salad container; my sad excuse for a dinner.

I had arrived home from work about an hour ago and was filling Katie in on the embarrassing rejection that occurred last night in Harry's car.

"Thanks, I don't know what came over me, and now I just feel stupid. But at least you can stop trying to convince me that he likes me because that has been made pretty clear."

I shake my head at my stupidity, how could I have believed for even a second that he would be into me?

My heels click along the hard floors as I wipe down the black glass top of my dining table I just ate at.  I hate seeing marks from fingerprints.

"Well," she thinks for a moment and I know she's trying to put her natural positive spin on things. "Maybe you should give Liam a chance? He's such a nice guy Lex, and he ballroom dances, did you know that?"

My face screws up at the thought, "You're kidding?" I laugh.

"No, really! So impressive! Don't you find that sexy?" she pushes.