eighty.

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MARCH, 1994, ABERDEEN, WA

          FOR THE FIRST time in ages, Lindy had made the executive decision to stay in Aberdeen for the duration of her birthday celebrations.

She had driven into town the day before, her things packed for a few nights stay in the town that she had escaped. Though she never would have thought it would happen, Lindy actually wanted more than anything to be truly home when she turned twenty-five.

Her welcoming had been warm — Trae and Allie both decorated their house with streamers and had prepared a cake, one which Hannah helped Lindy blow the candles out on.

The four of them had gone out to dinner with Lee on Lindy's actual birthday. While Lindy had persisted that they all go to the local diner in town where Lee would surely be more comfortable, Lee was steadfast in his decision that they go to a steak restaurant just outside of town that had been his favorite for many years.

Why he maintained this as the restaurant of choice, Lindy did not know. She was not even sure that there would be anything on the menu that Lee could actually digest. She had a feeling that her father wanted to spend an exuberant amount of money on her though, a now one time opportunity. Lee was ill to the point of being on his death bed, but with his children's help, he managed to have one last decent meal to celebrate Lindy.

Naturally, Lee ordered a ribeye that half-hung off his plate. Lindy had cut up Lee's steak for him, encouraging him to take tiny bites in order not to waste the meal, but this did not help much. Lee could barely stomach anything solid anymore, let alone a medium-cooked piece of meat. Yet as his daughter coaxed him with food, caring for him like she would a child on her own birthday, his eyes filled with grateful tears.

Kurt had called Lindy that same night, but unaware that she had gone to Aberdeen, his call was forwarded to her voicemail machine. Depressed, Kurt had left her his love and hopes that she was having an excellent day before hanging up. He had needed very badly to speak with her and felt lost to have not heard her voice.

Lindy would not hear Kurt's voicemail anytime soon. She extended her stay in Aberdeen even after her birthday was over, insisting she could take the time off from the hospital. Besides, Lee's condition was more concerning than ever. Lindy guessed that she'd need to take the time while in town to find a reputable hospice to place him in.

"How about this one?" Lindy asked. She was sitting on the floor of Trae and Allie's living room, Hannah in her lap playing with a spinning top toy as Lindy sifted through hospice brochures.

Trae was on the couch, his sock-clad feet raised on the armchair. He was exhausted, deprived of sleep and time with his family due to the demands of ensuring Lee was okay. Since they'd had no room in their two bedroom house for Lee to move in, Trae had enlisted the help of their old next door neighbor to frequently check on Lee in the night to make sure he didn't fall down.

"That one's too far. I've got to be able to drive Hannah up to see him."

"Okay," Lindy agreed, flicking the brochure aside. They'd already ruled out several hospices and severely narrowed down their search.

It was a funny thing, how they both had strongly advocated that their father be placed in the best hospice care that they could find. Lindy guessed that some may have called them all too forgiving, but the importance of Lee's quality of life had grown hugely on her.

It was a gift to her mother — a gift to show that her children were capable of forgiveness.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Trae said quietly from his spot on the couch.

IN THE SUN ↝ kurt cobainWhere stories live. Discover now