WeiLan [ENG]

#9 Never. Ever.

  He was surrounded by the darkness he knew well. He was falling into it and into the emptiness. His heart was beating faster and faster. Wei woke up sweating again. Beside him, Yunlan was still sleeping. Wei didn't want to wake him up, so, as slowly as possible, he sat down on the edge of the bed. His chest seemed to want to explode. He had to calm down. He breathed deeply a couple of times. It had already happened, just a few time, but it had happened that Wei dreamed of the darkness, that darkness that had given him life and the same that was his biggest fear. Especially now that he had someone by his side. Wei glanced at Yunlan and swallowed. Wei put the head in the hands, then got up and went to the kitchen, to get a glass of water. The apartment was dark, only a bright trail was coming from the window. Wei drained the glass of water, put it down and stared at an unspecified point. He swallowed again.

-What's up?

  Immersed in those thoughts that were making him tremble, Wei didn't realize his partner had woken up. Yunlan approached him and hugged him from behind. Wei's heart plunged and his eyes immediately glued to the floor.

-I was thirsty. 

  Wei replied briefly, trying to get away from Yunlan, but Yunlan gently pulled Wei to him. Wei had not noticed, but Yunlan had woken up immediately after him and he was observing him from afar. Yunlan wouldn't let Wei go anywhere.

-Wei, you don't have to lie to me.

  Yunlan replied softly. Wei closed his eyes.

-I'm fine. Go back to sleep.

  Wei tried to get away from Yunlan again. Wei felt like under the microscope and he just wanted to hide under meters of earth. But Yunlan didn't let go, on the contrary, he squeezed Wei a little more. Yunlan didn't say anything; he remained silent, his chin resting on Wei's neck. Wei hated being seen in that state by Yunlan. The thoughts that kept swirling in his head more than he would have liked were frustrating, but with all the good will, he couldn't avoid them. This was made even more difficult by the fact that Yunlan had probably already understood everything. Wei wanted to say something, but he couldn't.

-You know I don't care, right?

  Yunlan's sweet tone reached Wei's ear and made Wei's heart skip another beat. Wei always thought he could hide what he was thinking, but Yunlan seemed to have a sixth sense about it.

-I... I don't know what you're talking about.

-Wei, stop it. Stop hurting yourself for no reason.

  Yunlan was still holding Wei, making it clear that Wei was not alone and had no reason to think otherwise. Never.

-I don't care about your identity. You are just Shen Wei for me.

  Wei's mind clouded for a few moments, making him forget about the pain he felt in his chest. Wei felt Yunlan's hand right on it.

-There's a lot more in here. And it's no different from what I have.

  Wei put his hand on Yunlan's and turned around. Yunlan was smiling sweetly. That smile always gives Wei strength. Wei couldn't say anything, there were too many things he couldn't name in his mind. Yunlan put a hand on Wei's hip and the other hand on Wei's cheek, gently caressing him.

-Can you stop worrying? For me.

  There was much more love in that one look of Yunlan than Wei had ever seen in his whole, long life. He had no doubts about being able to trust the man blindly, but he was afraid. He was afraid of not feel up to him... He was afraid of doing something wrong... He was afraid of disappointing him... He was afraid it all could be gone at any time... As if he had guessed Wei's thoughts, Yunlan put his hand back on Wei's chest, approached his face and laid his lips on Wei's lips. Wei closed his eyes. It would have been up to it! He would not do anything wrong! He would not disappoint him! If the day would come, he would still be watching over Yunlan! Ever. Yunlan pulled Wei closer, in a hug. He would not let him go.

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I haven't read the novel yet, so I don't know if maybe this thing happened - Shen Wei being afraid of his Ghost Slayer identity that may scare Zhao Yunlan - it's just how I see it.